Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Grollub]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Grollub;

I would caution you about giving the CINCPAC cleaning lady too much authority. I made a similar mistake and now I tend find a set of allen wrenches that I haven't seen for 2 years in the drawer with old swimming suits I havent used in 10 years. This is, of course, after I spent 2 hrs looking for the damn allen wrenches and finally broke down and bought a new set.

Before you know it she will have your carriers doing mine sweeping duty.

[:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Cagayan de Oro harbor, Mindanao, January 21, 1942********

A group of USAAF personnel and a dozen Fillipino stevadores squint into the blinding sun as a rusty crane lowers a heavy load from the even more rusty 1,700 ton, Prince of Negros, which is alongside the quay. As the load is swung over the dock it can now be well seen. It is an awesome thing to see. It is a large twin-tailed fighter aircraft with a graceful twin fuselage and evidently powerful engines. The engines and canopy are covered with canvas for transport. On each is stenciled the words "M&M Enterpises, Aviation Division, a licensed reseller of Lockheed AIrcraft Corporation".


Master Sargeant McMillan, Maint. Crew Chief, 34th PS, USAAF: <the Master Sargeant thinks about the P-35's he has labored over for 8 months, only one of which is still flight-worth. Tears of joy come to his eyes> Mary, Mother of God!

Stevadore: <makes sign of the cross> Madre de Dios!

[Cap Mandrake]

This is the latest sign-in password..ULOINI...Again, it has a real world meaning. It's Samoan for "woman whose breasts sag down really low like in National Geographic"


Here is my question. I have a squadron of P-40B's at Samoa (imagine that) which are flagged to Pacific Fleet. The have an operational radius of 6. When I try to transfer them to a nearby base my only option is the other base on Samoa (contiguous by land).

What gives. It seems Noumea, for eg., should be within the transfer radius which used to be 3 x operational radius. What gives?

[aprezto]

Isn't the transfer range listed in the squads stats? I don't know what the P-40B's transfer radius is, but I do know they can't mount drop tanks - which are handy for transfering in the pacific

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What gives. It seems Noumea, for eg., should be within the transfer radius which used to be 3 x operational radius. What gives?

You're all mixed up, Cap! 2 x the range from an HQ is to upgrade (& maybe get replacements). Transfer range is right on the air group display - max range IIRC. There was never any 3 x thing AFAIK.

Try the P-40 E model. They can use drop tanks to transfer farther, but you gotta have enough supply.

BTW, I thought Uloini was the mayor of Corleone?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What gives. It seems Noumea, for eg., should be within the transfer radius which used to be 3 x operational radius. What gives?

You're all mixed up, Cap! 2 x the range from an HQ is to upgrade (& maybe get replacements). Transfer range is right on the air group display - max range IIRC. There was never any 3 x thing AFAIK.

Try the P-40 E model. They can use drop tanks to transfer farther, but you gotta have enough supply.

Oh, Bloody Hell! I hate when I get all mixed up.

BTW, I thought Uloini was the mayor of Corleone?

Well...there is Thor Hyerdahl's theory about Samoa being populated by Sicilian's traveling on balsa wood rafts...or maybe it is the other way around.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: aprezto

Isn't the transfer range listed in the squads stats? I don't know what the P-40B's transfer radius is, but I do know they can't mount drop tanks - which are handy for transfering in the pacific

IHZIME noun, swahili, translates roughly to "general shape of woman but has curly hairs on chin"

As for the P-40B not carrying drop tanks. They shoulda put a warning label or something on the God damned thing. I am going to do something about this. I'm not quite sure what it will be yet, but it will certainly be pointless at best and possibly even self-destructive...but I will feel better afterward.

[Mynok]

Not only do we get jackspeak, but we find out there are a billion words for 'ugly woman' and none for 'quiet lady'. [:'(]

[aprezto]

'quiet lady' is an oxymoron.

[Cap Mandrake]

*****Western Command HQ, San Francisco, January 22, 1942******


Gen. De Witt surveys a wall sized map of the Washington, Oregon and california coastlines in a planning meeting.


Gen. De Witt: Now, If I were your typical, crafty, little yellow Jap bastard, where would I land?

Aide 1: Are your sure there is really a threat to the West Coast, sir? There main effort seems now to be in the South Pacific.

Gen. De Witt: That's what they WANT you to think Major. Oh, they are comin' all right. I can feel it in my bones. But where?

Aide 2: San Francisco perhaps? Los Angeles?

Gen. De Witt: Nah...too obvious. If I were them, I would split the difference and hit us where we are weak..<walks close to Central Califronia on the map...then after 20-30 pensive seconds he exclaims> HERE! Right here! PISMO BEACH! Your Japs are going to land there. Two weeks tops! <there is a stir in the room> No time for shore defences, we need a ready reaction force real close. Ideas?

Aide 2: How about Ford Ord in San ouis Obispo? It's about 15 miles away from Pismo.

Gen. De Witt: SPLENDID! San Luis Obispo it is. I want the 35th ID there and and least 2 Bn. of armor and 2 field artillery units. And get a Corps HQ there fast. The Japs won't know what hit them when they tangle with De Witt.

[BrucePowers]

Pismo Beach[X(]. Didn't Bugs Bunny like it there. I remember a couple of cartoons........

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

[font="Courier New"]
Janaury 21, 1942


To All Sailors and Officers of IJN Shokaku;


Effective immediately, all foreign language swear words are hearby banned from use aboard this vessel. Especailly, I don't want to hear anyone saying, "Madre de Dios" on this vessel again. This order also applies to expressions from our allies. I have heard several sailors saying "non mi rompere le palle". Do you really want your mother's to know you speak like that? And just yesterday, in the officers dining room, I heard an officer exclaim, "SCHIESSE!", when he was given a large helping of creamed chip beef on toast. We are eating better than most Japanese on the home islands. Please show some gratitude. The Discipline Officer will distribute an approved list of Japanese language curses that may be used if you drop a 250 kg bomb on your toes or something, but hey, let's not wear them out, OK? See, that is the problem. If you curse over little things then you will find when the need really arises, you will have to find more fantastical curses. I have asked the ship's surgeon to give a serious of lectures on Stoicism. This might help.


Your Captain

Matsubara Hiroshi



PS. If I find out that some other useless, ****-for-brains, dumb **** unplugs the ***-****** Imperial mother-******* Croaking Device I will put my ***-****** boot so far up the stupid ****-******'s *** he won't know whether to **** or wind his wrist watch.[/font]

Wind his wrist watch. Thats a good one I havent heard in a while. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Pismo Beach[X(]. Didn't Bugs Bunny like it there. I remember a couple of cartoons........

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Baba_Bunny


Apparently Bugs liked clams....the ones you dig up at Pismo Beach.

[Grollub]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Grollub;

I would caution you about giving the CINCPAC cleaning lady too much authority. I made a similar mistake and now I tend find a set of allen wrenches that I haven't seen for 2 years in the drawer with old swimming suits I havent used in 10 years. This is, of course, after I spent 2 hrs looking for the damn allen wrenches and finally broke down and bought a new set.

Before you know it she will have your carriers doing mine sweeping duty.

Hmmm ... come to think of it I should use her as an air leader instead - she should be able to set up clean sweeps ... [8|]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Hmmm ... come to think of it I should use her as an air leader instead - she should be able to set up clean sweeps ... [8|]

Try it if you are adventurous but don't use a Mayan housekeepr. Mine uses an electric vacuum clearner to pick up a couple of atoms of dirt on the hardwood floor.

Apparently the broom doesn't exist in the Yucatan.


PS...I realize the Mayan housekeeper supply is a bit scarce in Scandavia.

[Cap Mandrake]

On the 22nd of January the Japs attacked both at Manila and the Clark Field defences.

The attack went off at 1:1 at Manila with substantial disrutption to the attacking forces but about equal casualties. The attack at Clark failed at 1:2.

Bettys are now attacking Manila. I will attmept to surprise them with a mixture of P-40's and P-38's.

Also...the Imperial Croaking Device got plugged back in.

[sprior]

Meanwhile, the Sherbert Dips seem to hold some kind of fascination for Johny Jap as they hunker down in Rangoon scoffing.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Bettys are now attacking Manila. I will attmept to surprise them with a mixture of P-40's and P-38's.

My-that would be quite the surprise! Where are you going to get P-38s in the Phillipines in January 1942? [&:]

[sprior]

Jan 22.

The Dutch fly boys attack convoys at merak and miss everything, including the planet Earth apparently.

meanwhile the Dutch army keeps the 5th Amphinious Brigade at bay in Tarakan for another day. 7 days and counting so far.

Diggers and supplies reach Ambon unmolested. I don't think we'll stop them taking it but it will slow JJ down a bit.

[Menser]

On each is stenciled the words "M&M Enterpises, Aviation Division, a licensed reseller of Lockheed AIrcraft Corporation".

the fine print underneath says "Batteries and drop tanks not included, some assembly required."