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ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Sprior: I've got a question: Why is spot running?

Is s/he at Georgetown and trying to get away from the Imperial Guards? Will animals be harmed in the making of this AAR? Have you filled out an IACUC for using animals in this manner?

LOOOL! [:D]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Cap, can you and would you provide an interpreter for Sprior?[:D]

Hey...don't look at me. I thought this part was about Carmen Electra, "Electra took one up the chuff before going down..".

It seemed oddly off topic but I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.

As for the poor dog in Malaya...the poor thing is probably half-slathered in Bar-B-Q sauce and scared witless. I would run too.

Everything else was over my head[:D]

Well...planes fly and pongos like the upper hotel rooms. Makes sense! [:'(]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Cap, can you and would you provide an interpreter for Sprior?[:D]

Hey...don't look at me. I thought this part was about Carmen Electra, "Electra took one up the chuff before going down..".

It seemed oddly off topic but I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.

As for the poor dog in Malaya...the poor thing is probably half-slathered in Bar-B-Q sauce and scared witless. I would run too.

Captain Mandrake: I beseech thee: please do not explain how it is you know what it is like to be half-slathered in Bar-B-Q sauce and running for your life. My mind's eye pictures a rum-soaked evening, a shotgun wielding husband and a six-foot vertical jump over a chain link fence.

Unless, of course, you care to regail us with the much-missed AE version of 'stalker girl chronicles'. Now there's an update I've been missing...

My money's on Frau Braun.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Cap, can you and would you provide an interpreter for Sprior?[:D]

Hey...don't look at me. I thought this part was about Carmen Electra, "Electra took one up the chuff before going down..".

It seemed oddly off topic but I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.

As for the poor dog in Malaya...the poor thing is probably half-slathered in Bar-B-Q sauce and scared witless. I would run too.

Oh boy, Carmen Electra is going to be in this AAR.[:D]

Maybe she will take the place of the Dana Wynter look-a-like?[:D]

Simon, you could of course have done a picture puzzle out of your latest instead Combat Report post instead. Something like the pic attached at the end.

Ok, you could interpret these pictures somewhere along the line that Carmen Electra would do some "Chuff chuff" on the crew of SS Spot.

That interpretation, however, would raise some further questions, namely

1/ What will she do until June 44 when SS Spot finally arrives?
2/ Where do this mysterious C.Run fit in? Who's he?

[:'(]

I appreciate the 'train in tunnel' example you've provided Grollub...[;)]

Let's call the whole thing off


One thing about AE is one has to be careful to craft effective recon. By Dec. 9, there had been no landing yet on Mindanao. The B-17's at Cagayan had already been got out to Darwin..perhaps prematurely...[:@].

Now I see why premature evacuation has such a bad name.

Perhaps the Japs are going for the more energetic remedy? Hmmm?

I move some USN PBY's down to Manado....et voila! Loads of Jap transports headed right for Manado..one day out! Lightly escorted too. The USN cruisers have been loitering at Makassar hiding from the mini KB which has been hitting single Filippino AK's trying to escape to the South. The Kates now seem to be using bombs instead of torpedoes. Perhaps the cruisers can intercept the expected Jap landing at Manado?

A few B-17's are moved to Kendari and Ambon and the USN cruiser force sprints to Manado at flank speed. Chicago blows a head gasket but can still make 29 kts.

The Japs....they trick us...they no show up...they turn South..toward Kendari? <use Chico Marx voice here>

The SS Legazpi has bee sent across the path of the advancing Jap force in hopes she will draw attention away from the USN cruisers...it works and she is sunk with repeated bomb attacks from mini KB, which has moved east to support the landing force.

Oddly, Chicago and her escorts seemed to be unspotted despite the fact they are only 80 miles form the Japs.

The need for conducting effective naval search and recon is much greater than in WITP and it really jacks up the excitement level!

Cap off for a really beautiful map. Looks exactly like taken out of a history book! [:)]

Thx Grollub.

As the Jap intention on the afternoon of the 10th seems to be Kendari, Admiral English (Chicago force) is ordered to attempt a night intercept o fthe Jap forces SE of Menado floowed by a retreat toward Kendari which now has a half dozen fearsome dutch Brewsters for top cover.

Another Fillipino AK is sent across the Jap path to cause havoc and eat a few torpedoes.

It sort of works. The lone AK draws off the Jap surface combat force and the USN cruisers surprise the Jap transports. Honestly, could it GET any better than that? Sadly, the seaplane carriers are equipped with the new, Romulan, task force cloaking devices and break contact after a roudn or two of one-sided gunfire. [:@]

English stays around too long and two raids of 8 Kates each do a lot of damage with 250 kg bombs.


Meanwhile the RN is on the way from Soerabaja....you know when Electra takes it up the chuff.

Pretty pics! keep the crayons away from the subbies tho or they'll try to colour it in.

A guide to ranks in the Royal Navy

ADMIRAL

Leaps tall buildings with a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water,
GIVES POLICY TO GOD.


CAPTAIN

Leaps short buildings with a single bound
Is more powerful than a shunting engine,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if sea is calm,
TALKS WITH GOD


COMMANDER

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine,
Is slower than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water in indoor swimming pools,
TALKS WITH GOD IF SPECIAL REQUEST CHIT IS PROVIDED.


LIEUTENANT COMMANDER

Barely clears little huts,
loses tug of war with shunting engine,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.


LIEUTENANT

Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings,
Is run over by shunting engines,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury,
Doggy paddles,
TALKS TO ANIMALS.


SUB-LIEUTENANT

Runs into buildings,
Recognises shunting engines two out of three times,
Is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the Mae West,
TALKS TO WALLS.


MIDSHIPMAN

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says look at the Choo-Choo,
Not allowed elastic for his catapult,
MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.


CHIEF PETTY OFFICER

Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives of their tracks,
catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
HE IS GOD....

I was pretty sure an NCO (or whatever you call them in Jackspeak) was going to come out on top [:)]

So..when one puts Admiral Halsey in charge of a bunch of ships and bombers, one can hardly expect him to sit idly by. After all, the Japs started it.

This brings up the question: "What is the best use of the USN carriers early in the war?" If you ask me, the answer is: "To not get them sunk." Considering most have Brewsters and almost useless TBD's it is best to not run into Jap carriers even at quantitative parity. That leaves out returning to Pearl until the Japs are really gone (not just headed West for a day to escape recon then circling back). In this case the two carriers were ordered to rendevous South of Palmyra with Pensacola and the gaggle of DMS's and head South. This was accomplished. At the same time, the KB bombed Pearl for a second day and was spotted moving West toward Truk on the 9th. Also, a transport convoy was transiently seen NE of Rabaul. Perhaps they carriers could intercept a Jap landing on New Britain.

Halsey turned West. On the 9th, the Japs landed on Makin and on Tarawa on the 10th. The carriers were in a position to hit any shipping in the area but I wanted to take the most direct toward Rabaul, which was due West, right between Makin and Tarawa. I also wanted the carriers to be unspotted. So the search range on the carriers was chopped down to zero hexes (dangerous, I agree but the Jap carriers were almost certianly all accounted for). I sent Indianapolis and the DMS's South of Tarawa to scout. It worked...sort of. Seaplanes from Indianapolis spotted Jap transports unloading at Tarawa. As planned, the carriers, just 120 miles ENE of Tarawa did not spot any ships, but interestingly, they must have been listening to radio messages from Indianapolis' Seagul. Both carriers launched raids, sinking 3 AK's and 2 small escorts at Tarawa...and giving away their position.

Also on the 10th, the Japs started landing at Kavieng, so the carriers were ordered to continue West and their search range was maximized. On the 11th, advance of the carriers was delayed to refuel DD'. They found retreating Jap ships moving toward Kwajalean, sinking 3 more transports and a DD.

Concurrent with this, Jap ships (identified as AP's ?) were seen off Laysan Is. (in the Hawaiian chain). Despite Adm. Kimmel's panic, it was not likely an invasion convoy but escorts of Jap carriers trying to circle North of Pearl to pick off shipping to and from Hawaii. The next day, the same "AP's" had moved 450 miles to the SW (much too fast for transports). Evidently, the appearance of USN carriers off Tarawa had forced their recall. This was a good thing. Surprise had been lost for the USN but it will force the Japs to escort any landings on New Britain or the Solomans if they knwo what is good for them.

The USN carriers move South to disappear and see if they can find any resellers of F4F's. [;)]

Kwajalein may only be level one, but Roi/Namur is level 4 and has a squadron of Nells. These are not much of a threat, though, unless you pull up close, since there are no Zeros to do escort duty, only short legged Claudes.

******Admiral Kimmel's office, Pearl Harbor, Dec. 14, 1941*****


Adm. Kimmel: Captain, are you telling me that we gave Halsey the green light to take the carriers within bomber range of Kwajalein and there really ARE bombers there? I thought you told me it was just a grass strip?

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: It is a grass strip, sir.

Adm. Kimmel: Cpt., I am a blue water Navy man but you can't tell me they can operate Bettys or Nells from a crude grass strip with bomb loads.

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: No sir. Not from Kwajalein..but..it seems...ummm...

Adm. Kimmel: Oh cut the crap, Cpt., out with it.

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: Well, sir, it seems there is a new island <looks at map> ...umm...Roi-Namur.

Adm. Kimmel:Roi what?

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: Roi-Namur sir. It wasn't on the map before sir, but this one is bigger...waaay bigger. There are lots of new islands. The staff are having a hard time, sir. Many are still using the old map, sir.

Adm. Kimmel: Holy Hell Cpt.! Get the new maps! NOW! Can you imagine if one of our major combatant vessels runs aground?

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: Yes sir. It's just that one publisher has exclusive rights, sir, a copyright...and they are driving a hard bargain sir.

Adm. Kimmel: How in the Hell can someone copyright the geography of the Pacific? What is the name of the publisher, Cpt.?

Pacific Fleet Intelligence Officer: <loks at notes> M&M Publishing, sir, Cartography Division....

*****Asiatic Fleet HQ, Manila, Dec 14, 1941*****


Adm. Hart: ..OK, how are we doing in the Celebes, Cpt.?

Aide: Boise is headed to Soerabaja for repairs on her A turret. Paul Jones is burning heavily in Kendari harbor and I regret to inform you that Houston was abandoned due to uncontrolled fire. Her deck was afire from stem to stern.

Adm. Hart: WHAT?! Doesn't anyone in the this navy know how to use a fire hose? Goddamnit to Hell! I thought you told me she was going to make it. Get me my stenographer...

..

So you are using merchant ships as scouting cruisers now[:D]

Are the crews getting harzard pay?[X(][:D]