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said, "I was far too late responding to a prior post now that there are 5 ahead of me." Looking down dejectedly, he...

farted in General Blameys general direction and proudly declared......

ordered a pepperoni pizza with anchovies and a beer and went...

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

ordered a pepperoni pizza with anchovies and a beer and went...

...to go outside, but...

... realized why a turkey trots to water...

ORIGINAL: thegreatwent

... realized why a turkey trots to water...

but could not figure out why that chicken was crossing the road..but when the Amway delivery truck arrived he quickly...

ORIGINAL: crsutton
but could not figure out why that chicken was crossing the road..but when the Amway delivery truck arrived he quickly...

changed into his favorite knickers and tie-dyed t-shirt, flexed his buff chest muscles, and preened before the mirror like a narcissistic mime from Nantucket. Given his state of mind, this was predictable, for it was the one-year anniversary of his...

sex change operation..done in Mexico while he was...

doing impersonations of Robert Goulet in a small cafe that served exotic drinks garnished with decorative umbrellas made of tissue paper and balsa wood.  Drinking and umbrellas always put him in mind of Mary Poppins, of whom he'd once dreamt that he had...

a conversation with a Chilean Prostitute..

...reflecting unfavorably on that conversation, he remembered she had been somewhat of a blowhard. However, she did have tremendous....

But then he remembered that he wasn't crsutton, renowned raconteur from the Old Line State, a gentleman who had once begun a conversation with these immortal words:  "I once had a conversation with a Chilean prostitute...".  This boast had gotten him in hot water with his spouse, who that night got him drunk, waxed his armpit hairs, and used a hot glue gun to make on his chest the likeness of a....

[oops, Chickenboy beat me to the punch, so now my post makes no sense...imagine that...]

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

But then he remembered that he wasn't crsutton, renowned raconteur from the Old Line State, a gentleman who had once begun a conversation with these immortal words:  "I once had a conversation with a Chilean prostitute...".  This boast had gotten him in hot water with his spouse, who that night got him drunk, waxed his armpit hairs, and used a hot glue gun to make on his chest the likeness of a....

ETA: Attention, noob...please try to keep up with the poster ahead of you...[:'(]

You're post has been redacted, PoultryLad, for illegal use of the word "blowhard."

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

You're post has been redacted, PoultryLad, for illegal use of the word "blowhard."

And yours for the inappropriate use of the contraction "you're". [:'(]

[:(]

..."What were we talking about again?" said the man to the Chilean prostitute. Shaking her head and pointing to the newspaper before her, she remarked, "....

"It seems that M&M Enterprises stock is rising quickly!" 

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

"It seems that M&M Enterprises stock is rising quickly!" 

"Well", said the man standing before her, "their sales of winterized quonsets to Ecuador helped them significantly in Q3. My only question is whether they can continue this profitability with their newly launched electric..."

Just then, Bigfoot, the Lochness Monster and Elizabeth Taylor walked into the room. As usual Bigfoot's hair was perfect. They proceeded to...