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Stop killing my Panzers, please. Jeez, paint a big black cross on the side of you tank, and a wild-west Amerikaner will shoot at it. Same thing apparently happens if the cross is on top of the tank!:(

If you can't find any of my troops, maybe its because you boys keep runnin' west while my lines are east.

Goblin- A Goblin holds his map right side up

Yeech what a mess a goblin makes when hit with heavy blunt object (or a bazooka round) 5 Goblinite tanks added to scrap heap this round. The one at the bottom of the hill and 4 over by the mortars (rangers are having a ball) Over on the other flank a half dozen or so Goblin tanks have appeared. I still have not seen a single Goblin infantry unit. (prehaps this is why the goblin tank crews dismount and fire their pistoles at us?) Goblin you wasted a lot of points buying these goofs tanks they don't like to fight in them. So far at least 8 tank crews have got out and tried to duke it out with my infantry. (maybe the Tanks have defective ejector seats that activate when hit by a bazooka?) better have your QA people look into it.

I have attached a Photo of the brave Colonel Mogami directing his troops.

(shudder) This is what a dismounted Goblin Tanker looks like while attacking

Thats a member of our WACS badmitton team!

That round was a total suckfest. Those tanks he killed had pulled to a stop right next to a CRAPLOAD of Rangers. Rangers with bazookas. MAD Rangers with bazookas. Ah well, his rocket battery has to be about gone, and some of his four-dueces suffered a little too.

By the by, a Jackson got a Panzer! Unbelievable, you say? Its the truth!

Still can't find me? Even with my east/west suggestion? The 'N' should be at the top of the map. Face that way. Turn right real sudden-like. There you go!

Goblin- A Goblin guides

Mogami:

I have attached a Photo of the brave Colonel Mogami directing his troops.

Rather an uncooth sort aren't you? Going for the nose in full view of the troops!

Hey you chares you go get grasses you brind as a bat.
Mogami not picky nose he pointing at Gobrins in a heroic pose.

OK children listen up. Todays movie is 'How to Kill Goblins'

Tommy can you get the lights?
(needs 15-20 seconds to load)

Goblins squeesh good

OK last thing through a Goblins mind is a .30 cal round
last thing he see's..............

Still harassing Mogami mortars. That Jackson didn't wanna come play with four of my tanks. Go figure. Wasn't there a cheesy movie called 'The Hills Have Eyes'? I think I saw it once. Well, I'm in the remake! No matter where I move, something can see me. All those eyes, and the only thing they can spot is my MOVING tanks.

Wait one. The crews from two of my Jagdpanthers have this creepy feeling.... Yep, they can now be seen too.... I think he's got guys on stealth hanggliders over my line.

Goblin- A Goblin looks around nervously

Mogami:

Hey you chares you go get grasses you brind as a bat.
Mogami not picky nose he pointing at Gobrins in a heroic pose.

The heroic pose called for involves the hand 'very' entended. This sort of pictured pose is only tolerable when that same hand is holding some McArthur glasses, thereby putting them on or off for dramatic effect. Failing that, there's only one thing the men can think. Morale -10 penalty.

Originally posted by Charles_22
Mogami:

The heroic pose called for involves the hand 'very' entended. This sort of pictured pose is only tolerable when that same hand is holding some McArthur glasses, thereby putting them on or off for dramatic effect. Failing that, there's only one thing the men can think. Morale -10 penalty.

Hey just how long do you think my arms are? Any how I am not commanding the girlie men you must be in charge of. Mine don't care
Colonel Mogami holding Goblins head photo attached

I decided to go hunt that Jackson. It didn't take long to find him. I rolled a tank forward maybe 150m, and then watched pieces of it come crashing back down to earth. Found him! Ok, got to get him to use his shots up. Rolled another IIIJS up, maybe 200m, and watched the new bonfire for a minute. Hmmm. Rolled a third up, was missed, layed a round into him, was CLONKed, shot several more times with no reaction.

Yes! Now I pull a great big Tiger IE up and turn him into Ja c ks o n. Thats pieces of a Jackson. Had a recon patrol assault a Tiger, but thankfully they didn't get it. They did 'buy' it.

Goblin- A Goblin sells the farm

Well roll those big bad boys right on over. Don't make me come over there and get you. Tigers be big nice fat piles of victory points soon

One, points don't much matter, remember?

Two, NO! Daddy likey his Tigers. These aren't for scouting/raiding. Thats what my IIIJ(s) probe was for. I guess I am making you come and get me. Thats an awful long, clear area! Hope you don't get spotted!

Of course, you never know when a REAL attack by me might commence.....

Goblin- A Goblin loves his kitty

What map are you guys using? I'd like to follow along with this. Never can tell, I might challenge Mogami to a battle one of these days.

Originally posted by Goblin
One, points don't much matter, remember?

Two, NO! Daddy likey his Tigers. These aren't for scouting/raiding. Thats what my IIIJ(s) probe was for. I guess I am making you come and get me. Thats an awful long, clear area! Hope you don't get spotted!

Of course, you never know when a REAL attack by me might commence.....

Goblin- A Goblin loves his kitty

Wait, wait... I think we have a volunteer... Yes, one of Goblin's ferocious, snarling, deadly, dreaded Tigers is volunteering to lead the attack! Here's a photo of this brave unit!

I'm going to feel just terrible about blasting it with a bazooka.
(by the way I see three of them that's a pair of slippers and a night cap)

Only thing that happened on my turn was a murder commited by a recon unit with a TOMMYGUN against two crewmen with 1 pistol and a wrench. Guess who controlled which unit!;)

Goblin- A Goblin prays they get the chair:mad:

Originally posted by Bernie
What map are you guys using? I'd like to follow along with this. Never can tell, I might challenge Mogami to a battle one of these days.

Randomly generated.

Goblin- A Goblin rolls the dice and takes his chances

Well this battle is nearly over. The surving Goblin tanks 5 Pz-III and 4 Kitty's have taken positions on hills. 2 PzIII back near my mortars and the rest waaayyyyy over by Goblins rear VH. (not that the VH matter) I think his plan is to just sit and try to fight at long range. OK Goblin after this battle go up to your simpleton tip thread and make the entry concerning the use of smoke in the attack. (and about ALWAYS!!! having infantry to support your tanks) The 2 PZ-III by the mortars had best run as next turn the Rangers are going to give them a ticket for the mortar poaching. (they might have heard the explosion when their rear guard resited arrest) It will take the AB 5-6 turns to get to your Tigers. (he ran real far)