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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:47 am
by Cap Mandrake
Hai! Here some good rures:

1) Nevah buird ratrine uphirr from watah werr

2) Nevah buy from Siam-mens fisher-mens. Navah hear about ice.

3) Arways reave fish-head soup on for rong time to kirr everytghing.

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 11:12 am
by Cap Mandrake
**************March 24, 1942(d)***************

Rockhampton: Interrigence showed Arried-dogs surface ship heading NE near Maryborough. Japan-mens figure out probabry surface raid on Rockhampton or Bundaberg so send hand serected surface groups both bases to protect airpranes.
Arr of support ships send to port and Japan-mens wait for fun time.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Rockhampton at 95,152, Range 12,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Aoba, Shell hits 1
DD Hagikaze, Shell hits 1
DD Tanikaze, Shell hits 1
DD Arare
DD Harukaze
DD Tachikaze

Allied Ships
CA San Francisco
DD Preston
DD Cushing
DD MacDonough


OK, that-ah pathetic. Japan-mens "surprise" America-mens. Maybe turn off headrights for night batturhs.

Here bombardment force for Maryborough. Mandrake-san send Maya arong. Maybe bettah if everyone stay home. Thing about retrospectoscope, it-ah right 100% of time.

Night Naval bombardment of Maryborough at 96,157

Japanese Ships
BB Ise
CA Maya
DD Yayoi
DD Mutsuki
DD Akebono
DD Hayashio

Allied ground losses:
50 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 6 (4 destroyed, 2 disabled)

Airbase hits 5
Airbase supply hits 6
Runway hits 18
Port hits 10
Port fuel hits 1
Port supply hits 4


Here, Haguro, CL's and DD's protect Bundaberg. This even more pathetic.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Bundaberg at 96,155, Range 25,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Haguro, Shell hits 2
CL Yura
CL Tatsuta
DD Hamakaze, Shell hits 2
DD Kasumi
DD Mochizuki, Shell hits 2, on fire
DD Fuyo

Allied Ships
CA San Francisco, Shell hits 1
DD Preston
DD Cushing, Shell hits 1
DD MacDonough


RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 11:50 am
by Cap Mandrake
The Bettys drop rots of bombs on Austraria-mens south of Maryborough

Morning Air attack on 1st Australian Division, at 96,158 , near Maryborough

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 7
G4M1 Betty x 45

Allied aircraft
Kittyhawk IA x 3
P-39D Airacobra x 6
P-40E Warhawk x 7

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 3 damaged

Allied aircraft losses
Kittyhawk IA: 1 destroyed
P-39D Airacobra: 1 destroyed
P-40E Warhawk: 2 destroyed

Allied ground losses:
39 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


And the Sarrys.

Morning Air attack on 1st Australian Division, at 96,158 , near Maryborough

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 6,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 4
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 29
Ki-48-Ib Lily x 32

Allied aircraft
P-39D Airacobra x 2

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 1 damagedN

Allied aircraft losses
P-39D Airacobra: 1 destroyed

Allied ground losses:
13 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


Japan-mens anticipate possiburh air raid to coincide with surface raid so put extra Zeroes up in air. Not-ah make much difference to damn B-17.

Morning Air attack on Rockhampton , at 95,152

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 28 NM, estimated altitude 17,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 8 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 14

Allied aircraft
B-17E Fortress x 13

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 damaged
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed on ground
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 1 destroyed on ground

Allied aircraft losses
B-17E Fortress: 1 destroyed, 9 damaged

Airbase hits 2
Runway hits 7


Everyone into srit trench.

Morning Air attack on Rockhampton , at 95,152

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 26 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 5

Allied aircraft
B-17E Fortress x 21

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 3 damaged
A6M2 Zero: 3 destroyed on ground
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 2 destroyed on ground

Allied aircraft losses
B-17E Fortress: 4 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
20 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Airbase hits 7
Airbase supply hits 3
Runway hits 26

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:44 pm
by Cap Mandrake
**************Near Hengyang, this-ah in China**************

Maj. Matsumoto, standing in hatch of lead Type II at crearing in woods: FOR EMPEROR! BANZAI! <the tank begins to move> ATTACK..ATTACK..ATTA <Maj. Matsumoto stop tarking because most of head disappear>


Ground combat at 79,53 (near Hengyang)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1080 troops, 0 guns, 210 vehicles, Assault Value = 299

Defending force 34383 troops, 218 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 864

Japanese adjusted assault: 28

Allied adjusted defense: 1209

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 43

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
Vehicles lost 107 (26 destroyed, 81 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
53 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 7 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Assaulting units:
3rd Tank Regiment
9th Tank Regiment
5th Tank Regiment
55th Infantry Brigade

Defending units:
60th Chinese Corps
9th Prov Chinese Corps
21st Chinese/A Corps
5th Chinese Cavalry Corps
3rd Chinese Cavalry Corps
21st Chinese/B Corps
32nd Group Army

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2015 12:53 pm
by Cap Mandrake
***********Seaside Virra************

Mandrake-san, in shower: In ord Japan, Japs do it..in Rapprand, Rapps do it....rets do it, rets farr in rove....<begins yerring across office>

HEY, JIMMY TOO TARR! TERR RUKANESE-WOMANS COME IN HERE WITH PENCIRH AND PAPER. MANDRAKE-SAN THINK OF ANOTHAH SONG!

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:57 pm
by zuluhour
bump, what ah happen to waw??

While I no longer read this while actually drinking my morning jo at the office, I do miss it
when I put it down.[;)]

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:09 pm
by witpqs
HOA complain about singing in shower!

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:12 pm
by zuluhour
what ah HOA? Zulu san ferry old.

*careful attention to spelling[:D]

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:31 am
by Cap Mandrake
Hory crap! Mandrake-san rearry tired aftah go to Fiji for wedding of daughtah. Originarry pran to go to Tahiti or Hawaii but
not-ah capture yet. Mandrake-san have to take rittah from Truk HQ petty cash because even Admirarh sarary not enough to pay for arr of sake and sarted sea urchin eggs.

Everyone have good time. Many have botturh fatigue.

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:02 am
by Cap Mandrake
Because Mandrake-san distracted by everyone asking for Yen and Phirripino gord, Arried-dogs sneak up on Japan-mens two nights in row.

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:14 am
by Cap Mandrake
Here strategic probrem....because of Navarh Treaty of 1925, Japan-mens have to finish amphibious randings before Aprir 1942(d) or have to buy shedroads of maps and quinine tabrets and Port-a-pottys. So, Japan-mens going wird trying to rand at arr of freaking dot bases in South Pacific and Corar Sea and Medium and Resser Sundas. That-ah not so bad but Arried-mens arso have copy of Navarh Treat of 1925 so pretty much figure out what-ah hahppen. Arried-dogs figure out Tonga Isrands pretty crose to Samoa so maybe Japan-mens try to bring into co-prosperity sphere.

Japan-spot rittah crappy stuff rike PC's with submarines and Nerrs so send in fast APD with DD escort toward Southernmost of Tongas to foor crappy Arried-dogs boats.

Hory crap! Arried-bastards sneak in biggah crap.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Eua at 137,169, Range 9,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
APD Aoi

Allied Ships
CL Concord
DD Dewey

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:18 am
by Cap Mandrake
Rook, guy on I-159. Don't-ah worry about smarr crap!

Sub attack near Tongatapu at 137,167

Japanese Ships
SS I-159

Allied Ships
PC Reliance, Torpedo hits 1, heavy damage
PC Warrego

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:21 am
by Cap Mandrake
Haroooooo....guy on Yanagi, don't-ah worry about smarr carp and waste ammo. Turn on radio! Arso, don't forget mission to stay with APD.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Tongatapu at 137,168, Range 12,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Yanagi

Allied Ships
PC Warrego, Shell hits 15, and is sunk

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:24 am
by Cap Mandrake
Haroooo...Yanagi. Come in. Come in Yanagi. Yangai, turn on radio.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Tongatapu at 137,168, Range 15,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Yanagi, Shell hits 16, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL Concord
DD Dewey

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:26 am
by Cap Mandrake
"Harooo.. Aoi, HQ say turn around forget whorhe thing."

Japanese Ships
APD Aoi, Shell hits 20, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL Concord
DD Dewey

Japanese ground losses:
233 casualties reported
Squads: 14 destroyed, 9 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:30 am
by Cap Mandrake
"Haroooo...I-159. Prease to brow up enemy cruiser before get troop ship..oh...wait...nevah mind"

Sub attack near Tongatapu at 137,167

Japanese Ships
SS I-159

Allied Ships
CL De Ruyter, Torpedo hits 1, on fire
DD Vampire

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:40 am
by witpqs
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Because Mandrake-san distracted by everyone asking for Yen and Phirripino gord, Arried-dogs sneak up on Japan-mens two nights in row.
SG?



[:D]

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:53 am
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Because Mandrake-san distracted by everyone asking for Yen and Phirripino gord, Arried-dogs sneak up on Japan-mens two nights in row.
SG?


[:D]


Hai! Womans tremendousry attracted to Mandrake-san aftah get nose and eyebrow hairs trimmed for wedding. Fortuantery, nobody bring katana brade to night surprise.



RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 1:31 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: zuluhour

what ah HOA? Zulu san ferry old.

*careful attention to spelling[:D]

HOA stand for "Homeowners Association" but rearry it-ah branch of Stasi where Mandrake-san rive.

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 2:38 pm
by uncivil_servant
Cap-ee-tan-sama,

Whire you wure there did yew check out the defenses and airport at Suva?

Imagirine very nice prace fer a ceremonial seppuku to sin-girr rife.
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Hory crap! Mandrake-san rearry tired aftah go to Fiji for wedding of daughtah. Originarry pran to go to Tahiti or Hawaii but
not-ah capture yet. Mandrake-san have to take rittah from Truk HQ petty cash because even Admirarh sarary not enough to pay for arr of sake and sarted sea urchin eggs.

Everyone have good time. Many have botturh fatigue.