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ORIGINAL: tabpub



Lt: <turning to leave> Oh, I almost forgot sir; the MSW group got separated from the main body last night. The Coxswain on the lead MSW has developed a strange condition; instead of steering fleet course 240 degrees, he was conning to course 042. The Pharmacist's Mate doesn't know what to make of it. Anyhow, the relief coxs'n spotted the error, but by then, the group was 4 hours in the opposite direction of the fleet; they can't make the landing zones before the transports. ADM Adams is quite put out, to say the least, and has ordered all Task Groups to heave to just over the horizon from Firestone while the MSW's catch up....aieee!! <ducks out the hatch as a coffee cup hits the bulkhead>

Adm. Halsey: (*%%$*&$)_+*&er!! I want that man up on a GCM when this Operation is over!! Fleet course was 240! I don't care what happened! And get me my strawberries!!

Lt: <ducks back in> Yessir! Oh, and the 2 old 'Bird' class MSW Rail and Heed will be onstation in the afternoon; they didn't have any navigation error. They should arrive in time with the intial bombardment group. <duck out>

Adm. Halsey: <muttering to self> Fletcher gets everything....dolt....he gets all but one of the DMS's, 3 carriers, and attacks an island that has a weakly held base 40 miles away that's taken in hours after the landing....What do I get...one carrier, one DMS, a bunch of idiot MSWs and we're attacking a rock in the middle of nowhere.....I KNEW that I shouldn't have pinched Chet's wife on the ass at that party 2 years ago.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!

Wow! Halsey (2) has that macho mojo goin' on although he seems a bit forgetfull. Perhaps the Y chromosome deletion wasn't as bad as originally suspected. The medicos will be very, very happy.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So here is Lord Admiral Tabpub's crazy side coming out. Canton Is. is beyond range of any currently available Allied bombers (the nearest base is Palmyra which is 15 hexes away), the location of the KB is unknown, Canton has been off limits for recon to preserve secrecy, 3 USN carriers are covering the Suva landings..............that leaves only Wasp to cover the Canton landings. [X(] [8D]


Will the non-Pagans please recite 50 Hail Marys in support of Operation Firestone (the Greek version is available a few pages back).

Are you lumping us protestants with the pagans[X(][:D]

WE don't do hail Marys (unless it is with a football)[:D]

Admiral Eadie Adams[:D][:D][:D]

Anonymous Editor's Note:

A number of readers have complained about a possbile sectarian or religious bias by a certain contributor. It is the firm policy of the Board to denounce relgious or sectarian intolerance. We further decry any inference that any of the monotheistic religions are superior to the animist, polytheistic or mud-worshiping faiths in any respect. Under no circumstances should readers feel obligated to support the Allied cause by prayer if they do not feel comfortable. The Board does request that overt references to Shinto shrines or <POOF>

Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name? I can't. I just remember he got left on Rossel Island...it may have even been WWII(a). It is amazing how annoying 12 Catalians can be [:)] The Japs send thousands of soldiers or marines to take Rossel Island back and suffer two mine losses to the transports from their own mines that had been laid only 2 days earlier. Meanwhile the Cats and the Dutch aviation engineers and one guest are gone[:D]



*******Rossel Island Lagoon, Louisiade Archipelago, 09:10, December 17, 1942*******


Lt. Van Dyke stands in ankle deep water. He is among the last of the volunteer Dutch aviation support company to be evacuated from Rossel. They have been operating a forward seaplane base on Rossel Island as part of a false Allied landing operation in New Guinea. The 12 RAAF Catalinas operating from the island have been trying to make as much noise as possible, flying recon missions even as far away as Rabaul and Guadalcanal. It appears to have been a gratifying success. Gili Gili has been reinforced by the Japs. Jap minelayers have operated offshore and just yesterday, half a dozen enemy transports were spotted rounding the Eastern tip of the Louisiade Archipelago, doubtless bound for Rossel to remove the offending thorn. There is no time to waste, the engines of the PBY are just turning over now. He turns toward the crazy American in tattered shorts who wears a hat he has woven from coconut fibers. He was discovered muttering to himself and wandering about what was expected to be a deserted island when they were first flown in 10 days ago.

Lt Van Dyke: Look, are you coming or not? The Japs will be here any second.

Crazy American momma's boy ornithologist: But my work, my work? It will be lost.

Lt Van Dyke: They are ******* birds! The Japs will kill you, you ignoramus!

Crazy American momma's boy ornithologist: But, I have incontrovertible evidence of species radiation among the littoral species of the Lousisiades. Do you realize the importance of this? This is as big as Charles Darwin....<Lt. Van Dyke nods his head slightly and the big KNIL sargeant brings the butt of his rifle across the back of the momma's boy's neck. He collapses into the shallow water and they both begin to drag the future Nobel Laureate to the waiting seaplane>

********3,000 yds offshore Red beach, Canton Island, 07:45, December 17, 1942*******

The big guns of USS Washington and North Carolina are depressed to a nearly horizontal elevation. Canton Island, which is not much to see even in the best of circumstances, seems to have disappeared into a cloud of smoke and pulverized coral. There is no return fire from the island, not a single round. More than one sailor aboard the Fast Bombardment Group wonders if they even have the right island.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name?

The answer...


*********Panaete Island, Louisiade Archipelago, 17:30, May 24, 1942*******

Byron's mother always wanted him to be a lawyer or a gynecologist or something like that. Instead, he chose ornithology. On Dec. 7, 1941, he was in the Louisiades working on his thesis, "Adaptive Radiation Among the Genus Zosteropidae". He should have left on the Territorial Police cutter when he had a chance, but he needed more beak length measurements on Panaete's population of Cracticus louisiadensis. Then the Japs took Gili Gili and nobody with white skin ever came back.

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anybody remember crazy American momma's boy ornithologist's name?

The answer...


*********Panaete Island, Louisiade Archipelago, 17:30, May 24, 1942*******

Byron's mother always wanted him to be a lawyer or a gynecologist or something like that. Instead, he chose ornithology. On Dec. 7, 1941, he was in the Louisiades working on his thesis, "Adaptive Radiation Among the Genus Zosteropidae". He should have left on the Territorial Police cutter when he had a chance, but he needed more beak length measurements on Panaete's population of Cracticus louisiadensis. Then the Japs took Gili Gili and nobody with white skin ever came back.

Oops! [:)] <thinks up cover story while shaving>

********Aboard RNN PBY. 7,000 feet above Rossel, Is., Louisiade Arcipelago, December 17, 1942*********


Lt. Van Dyke looked out of a starboard window of the PBY as she banked into a turn to the West. To his amazement he could see 8 or 9 transports disgorging 15-20 thousand Jap troops complete with mortars and field pieces being dragged across the shallow lagoon. It looked as though a field hospital had been set up to handle the several thousands of casualties from the landing. "Near drownings? Sun stroke? Accidental discharge of weapons?", he thought to himself. Two Japs ships were burning, impaled on their own mines. "What was the funny American expression?", he thought. "FUBAR..that's it!" "This is completely FUBAR." He chuckled that his company and a few Catalinas had provoked such a reaction. "F****** crazy Japs!", he said quietly. He looked down at the crazy American momma's boy ornithologist who was coming in and out of consciousness, mumbling and making wimpering sounds. "F****** crazy Americans".

Byron was wimpering because he was reliving his near death in the bottom of a native outrigger canoe as his native friends spirited him ever Eastward on the Archipelago, away from the prying eyes of the Japs. He imagined he could smell the diesel oil of a Jap patrol boat passing the canoe. What he really smelled was aviation gas sloshing about in Jerry cans in the tail of the PBY. The brain does things like that....

[:D][:D][:D]

I want to know if Admiral Adams is related to an a family that has acting in it's roots[:)]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I want to know if Admiral Adams is related to an a family that has acting in it's roots[:)]

Ta Da!

ORIGINAL: tabpub

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I want to know if Admiral Adams is related to an a family that has acting in it's roots[:)]

Ta Da!

Ah, yes the Gomez Adams'. A bit of an embarrassment to the entire clan, I think.




Here is Eadie (in the middle, before the you-know-what) in the 1930's. That is Nelson Eddy on the left (before his you-know-what). I thought the guy on the right was that old Vaudeville comedian (just died recently..somebody help me out..instead it's Nelson's and Eaddie's urologist, a man who was very important in their lives)

Here is Admiral Adams after the surgery (early war, I think)....in any event, it was certainly before Canton was discovered to be an atoll. I am able to say this because of the smile on her...err..I mean...his face.

Oh, oh, oh, I just remembered Sid Caeser..that's who the urologist looks like..but he isn't.

That is definitely not Cid Caeser.

Super-secret Editor's Note:

The Board has recieved a number of complaints and wishes to directly apologize to the family of Mr. Caesar and to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce. Mr. Caesar never performed any addadictomy procedures or any other urological procedures. He did meet Ms. Adams but they never collaberated on any work. He never had occaision to meet Adm. Adams (again, I guess you would say) and knew nothing of Operation Firestone.

OK...how DO you spell "woolly mammouth"? Careful now

************Main Gun Director, USS Indiana, 4,000 yds off Canton Is., 07:15, December 20, 1942**************


A group of sailors and officers crouch and huddle over a crowded bit of deck in their armored station. A grizzled CPO shakes his right hand over his head, one knee on the deck. "COME ON BABY...ONE TIME!" he shouts. The excitement in the small space reaches an unsustainable crescendo. He releases the dice. They bounce off an open bulkhead, huge rivets determining their fate. All breathing stops. A dispassionate voice calls out, seemingly before the movement has stopped..."FOUR...four the hardway!".

"F***!", shouts the CPO. The entire room seems to suffer in unison. The Chief Gunnery Officer depresses the intercom, "Pass the word to Quincy and Indianapolis..it's another Goddamn 4...."

I think we ought to get back to the subject of Admiral Adams. What was she....I mean he.... trying to prove? The historical record is very silent on this.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Main Gun Director, USS Indiana, 4,000 yds off Canton Is., 07:15, December 20, 1942**************


A group of sailors and officers crouch and huddle over a crowded bit of deck in their armored station. A grizzled CPO shakes his right hand over his head, one knee on the deck. "COME ON BABY...ONE TIME!" he shouts. The excitement in the small space reaches an unsustainable crescendo. He releases the dice. They bounce off an open bulkhead, huge rivets determining their fate. All breathing stops. A dispassionate voice calls out, seemingly before the movement has stopped..."FOUR...four the hardway!".

"F***!", shouts the CPO. The entire room seems to suffer in unison. The Chief Gunnery Officer depresses the intercom, "Pass the word to Quincy and Indianapolis..it's another Goddamn 4...."

Bad die rolls are a b!tch!!! [:-] [:'(]