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First rule when reading Mandrake AAR : don't drink coffee (or anything else)
Second rule: i drinking coffee, just think to keep a handkerchief really near
Third rule : don't read AAR when boss is in desk AND you're drinking coffee (or anything else)
Fourth: if the three rules above are not respected, think of something sad...don't think of Yossarian, Doug or Dr Mixalot....nor anyone else

Fiftht: once you have apologise to your boss about it's suit, clean your desk and get another coffee......enjoy !
[:D]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


I promise not to get offended at this on the condition that you put in a scene with highly accented French sometime soon.

Please, we French don't have accent ! [:D]
In fact, every body in the world had an accent, except the Frenchs. Well, French from Paris have an accent; and those from the south...and from the north too....well, in fact, those of south-west too. In fact, French from Paris think they don't have an accent, and all the others French do have one, but in fact they are wrong. Well, of course, they are some French living in Paris, but not from this megapole; these ones don't have accent....well, except of course if they are coming from North; or south; or south-west; or north. And, most extraordinary, French from Paris but don't living in this megapole have an accent, although they pretend no but the locals do !
Aaahhhhhh, anyway, nobody understand us [:(]
[;)]

Gladiatt;

I wouldn't worry about your boss. If he looks up the url for matrixgames he will just think you are a geek and are wasting time. [:D]

It's not like you were googling barnyardlove dot com or something. [:D]

I once worked with a guy that got busted for calling a 900 number (at $10 a call) 9x/day. [X(] He was getting the results on the ponies. Naturally, we were all relieved to find out his only problem was compuslive gambling. [:D]

********No man's land, Perth perimeter, January 18, 1943************


Pvt., Billy Barty, HQ Coy, US 32nd ID has drawn the duty. He is most proud of his status as second piccolo, divisonal band, but when he is not making music, he drives a 2 1/2 ton truck. That what he is doing today, or at least he WAS doing that until he stopped the truck 400 yds short of Japanese trenches, got out with a white flag and yanked the distributor cap out of the truck. Now he is walking back to 32nd ID positions past the now immobilized truck which is piled high with thousands of magazines, Look, Life, National Geographic, horticulture magazines, magazines on quilting, on sports, on watercolor painting, on just about anything. They are donations from the Perth Welcoming Committee and the residents of Perth. They are here at the request of General Blamey as a goodwill gesture to speed the surrender of Japanese troops near Perth. To Pvt Barty, it seems farfetched that magazines on quiliting will cause soldiers pledged to defend the Emperor to lay down their arms, but he is just following orders. He leaves his offering behind and begins to quicken his pace. All parties have been ordered to hold fire under a temporary truce but he is still anxious.

Before he has gone 100 yds his anxiety is justified. Over the road in front of him, a P-38 begins a shallow dive and seems to be headed right for him. Evidently, someone has forgotten to tell the USAAF about the scheme. He begins to run. The fighter eats up the distance at an impossible rate. He dives into a foxhole and takes cover. The plane roars over him. He is still alive. He looks back toward the truck just in time to see two bombs arcing toward his truck and the P-38 pulling sharply up. One bomb scores a direct hit on the truck. As the dust begins to settle, thousands of magazine pages fall from the sky. Providentailly, a singed picture of Betty Grable lands in his foxhole. He tucks it into his tunic. Time for plan B.

Pvt. Billy Barty, eh? It looks like the goodwill effort has fallen, um, short.

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

Pvt. Billy Barty, eh? It looks like the goodwill effort has fallen, um, short.

[:D] [:D]

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

Pvt. Billy Barty, eh? It looks like the goodwill effort has fallen, um, short.

Oh sure, NOW it's funny, but nobody laughed when he wore 14 in. stilts with shoes attached to his enlistment physical. That was also the only 2 1/2 ton truck with pedal extensions in all of Australia.



Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet............

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet............

"My dear Group Captain Mandrake,
as President of the European Chapter for the Advancement of Short People I protest this characterization of my brothers and sisters. I challenge you to a duel.....<fumbles in vest>....now, where is my Derringer gotten to.....?"

ORIGINAL: tabpub

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet............

"My dear Group Captain Mandrake,
as President of the European Chapter for the Advancement of Short People I protest this characterization of my brothers and sisters. I challenge you to a duel.....<fumbles in vest>....now, where is my Derringer gotten to.....?"

My Dear Emperor Bonaparte;

I believe you have me confused with this fellow:



In any event, if you chose not to rescind your challenge, I shall require the weapons to be environmentally safe and be provided by M&M Enterprises Weapons Division. They can currently be reached in Darwin, Australia (if you even know where that is).

I agree with Mandrake's explanation, Mr. Short Emperor, Sir. The guy in the photo is the guilty party!

And, I Love L. A.

Well, you boys just settle your differences in here



then shake hands and be friends.

[quote]ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Gladiatt;

I wouldn't worry about your boss. If he looks up the url for matrixgames he will just think you are a geek and are wasting time. [:D]

WOW , how could you tell i'm wasting time !![:-]

I'me reading YOUR AAR !!

That's not wasting time [:)][:D]
(anyway, that's dangerous for my zygomatics muscles...just imagine if i get out of job with a crisped face and tears in the eyes [:D] )

Mr. R. Newman, who stands (iirc) around 5'4" tall, got many unhappy letters including some death threats (if his interview (heard years ago) is to be believed...)[X(] [:D]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Well, you boys just settle your differences in here



then shake hands and be friends.

Wow is that SVGA? Isn't the advancement of technology awesome? I need to get me one of those.

Hmmm---that sure looks like a very small steel cage for a deathmatch.

I doubt anyone over 5' 2" could climb in there...

Since I have it on good authority that Kimbo Slice's only backyard defeat came at the hands of Mandrake, I don't think Mandrake could even fit in the same cage with the Emperor.

They say this photo was taken just before Kimbo went down...

Dang! I didn't realize I had let myself go like that! No wonder the guy at the DMV was giggling. Which one am I, BTW?


Lt. De Groot.....you know....the young kid from Curacao.....

..

Uh-oh (again)[X(]

Does Anne look like acertain lady we know previously from this narrative?[:)]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Uh-oh (again)[X(]

Indeed, he is just a kid, not even 18 yet. I ought to be illegal what she is doing....oh wait, it is.

Does Anne look like acertain lady we know previously from this narrative?[:)]

Ample bosom....check
beautiful...........check
slender arms.....check
covers mouth when laughs......check

The poor kid reminds me of this chap..


"In vain I stretch out my arms toward her in the morning, when I wake from heavy dreams, in vain I seek her at night in my bed when a happy, innocent dream has deceived me into thinking that I was sitting beside her on the meadow, holding her hand and covering it with a thousand kisses. Oh, when I grope for her, still half drunk with sleep, and then become fully awake through thsi act--a stream of tears breaks from my anguished heart, and I weep at the hopelessness of a drak future"


Ouch! That is going to leave a mark.