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RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:16 pm
by Cap Mandrake
[font="Courier New"]Admiral Lord Sprior
Colombo Downs Race Track Gastropub


My Dearest Spri;


I trust things are well with SEAC. Since New Scotland fell we are all just lolling about having adult beverages here. Nasty business the New Scotland thing. Oh well. Can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, eh? There are these coordination issues:

1) We just shipped a Bn of M-10's from San Francisico bound for Melbourne.

2) What are your thoughts on a relief effort to Horn Island? This would have to involve the three carriers at Wellington due to the air threat from Port Moresby and, potentially, from Jap carriers.

3) We have a large aviation support regiment in New York that is flagged for SEAC. Would you prefer we divert the unit to Australia where the need seems greater?


In patient forbearance;

Fleet Admiral Mandrake
Tongatapu Pitch and Put[/font]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:33 pm
by BrucePowers
What's a SEAC unit doing in New York?[X(][:D]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:59 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

What's a SEAC unit doing in New York?[X(][:D]

Probably spending all their money on hookers and booze would be my guess.


If your question is instead, how come they aren't in Karachi or something, my guess would be there is some kind of war profiteering going on.

Image

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:07 pm
by BrucePowers
I personally like the Eastern US Base Force attached to the West Coast(R)[:D]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:18 pm
by Cap Mandrake
************June 6, 1942, US Army Bureau of Overseas Deployment, D-ring, Pentagon***********


Army Clerk: ..yes..well..let me have you talk to Mr. Cheatham. <hands over phone>


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Look jackwad! This is how it is going to be. If you want the 33rd in Brisbane we are talking 6 figures. Do you think you are ordering Christmas wreaths or something? Call me back when you have the funds, otherwise, the 33rd is going to Karachi. <hangs up phone> Look, son, when negotiating, you can't display weakness. It's like a couple of walruses fighting for the right to be beachmaster. You open your mouth real big and show the other SOB how big your ******* teeth are. I'll take 50K but I am not going to let him know that. Got it?

Army Clerk: Yes sir. Big ******* teeth.

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Damn right, son. Big ******* teeth.

Army Clerk: Yes sir. Sir, what is a beachmaster.

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Beachmaster? Why, that's the male with the biggest ******* teeth who gets to **** all the females.

Army Clerk: Is that a good thing, sir?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Damn right it is!

Army Clerk: You must really like your job, sir?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Me? Nah..I used to enjoy the hunt but now I am filled with a sense of emptiness and purposelessness. I should have listened to my mom. She wanted me to be a gynecologist.

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:28 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I personally like the Eastern US Base Force attached to the West Coast(R)[:D]

And Rosyth & Plymouth Fortress is attached to SEAC. I'd bet that raised a few eyebrows. [:D]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:31 pm
by Onime No Kyo
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Me? Nah..I used to enjoy the hunt but now I am filled with a sense of emptiness and purposelessness. I should have listened to my mom. She wanted me to be a gynecologist.

Perhaps Mandrake is feeling a bit of regret in his choice of medical specialization as well. [:D]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:33 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Me? Nah..I used to enjoy the hunt but now I am filled with a sense of emptiness and purposelessness. I should have listened to my mom. She wanted me to be a gynecologist.

Perhaps Mandrake is feeling a bit of regret in his choice of medical specialization as well. [:D]

Nah...the poor bastards get sued all the time. ******* lawyers [:D]

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:46 pm
by Alfred
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Me? Nah..I used to enjoy the hunt but now I am filled with a sense of emptiness and purposelessness. I should have listened to my mom. She wanted me to be a gynecologist.

Perhaps Mandrake is feeling a bit of regret in his choice of medical specialization as well. [:D]

Nah...the poor bastards get sued all the time. ******* lawyers [:D]

If you put I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq on a retainer, he won't be able to act against you.

Alfred

RE: EVAC

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:49 pm
by Cap Mandrake
D Day approaches...somewhere.



Image

RE: EVAC

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:01 pm
by Cap Mandrake
*********Aboard RNN O23, 80 mi NE of Japanese Timor, 07;25, June 6, 1942*********


Lt. Cmdr. Vallenberg: <peering through perisocpe. His hands are trembling with sufficient force to rattle the handles on the scope. He fairly shouts in a high-pitched voice> ENEMY BATTLESHIP...YES...YES...NAGATO...IM' SURE OF IT! AND TWO LIGHT CRUISERS...BEARING 272 TRUE...NO WAIT...268..NO WAIT 273..WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS <insert Dutch expletive here...you know the one and English speaker would use in this situtation> THING? AND WHERE IS MY GODDAMNED CAPUCINO?

RE: Horndog Island

Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:14 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: Alfred

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo




Perhaps Mandrake is feeling a bit of regret in his choice of medical specialization as well. [:D]

Nah...the poor bastards get sued all the time. ******* lawyers [:D]

If you put I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq on a retainer, he won't be able to act against you.

Alfred

Yes, ethically, he wouldn't be permitted, would he? That would be money well spent. [:D]

Mr. Cheatham reminds me of the guy who represented Stalker Girl in our prenup "negotiations". I found my guy on the Web but then I find out she needs to be individually represented. [8|] So I ask our corporate lawyer for a recomendation and he gives me the name of the 70 year old former beachmaster who is bitter about his own divorce and thinks he is Clarence Darrow. The guy initially expresses some concern about conflict of interest but when she agree to pay him $350 and hour he gets over it real fast. What an A-hole. I've seen junk yard dogs with more personality. He gets on this kick that I am going to pay HIS fee...not bloody likely pal...I can see where THAT is going. we would still be on the dance floor.

I am pretty sure his mom wanted him to be a gynecologist.

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:30 am
by Onime No Kyo
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********Aboard RNN O23, 80 mi NE of Japanese Timor, 07;25, June 6, 1942*********


Lt. Cmdr. Vallenberg: <peering through perisocpe. His hands are trembling with sufficient force to rattle the handles on the scope. He fairly shouts in a high-pitched voice> ENEMY BATTLESHIP...YES...YES...NAGATO...IM' SURE OF IT! AND TWO LIGHT CRUISERS...BEARING 272 TRUE...NO WAIT...268..NO WAIT 273..WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS <insert Dutch expletive here...you know the one and English speaker would use in this situtation> THING? AND WHERE IS MY GODDAMNED CAPUCINO?

An espresso would make much more sense in the cramped confines on a submarine. [:-]

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 1:00 pm
by Cap Mandrake
*********Aboard RNN O23, 80 mi NE of Japanese Timor, 07;26, June 6, 1942*********



Matroos der 2de Klasse Van Meter rushes into the forward torpedo room with the Captain's favorite mug. He lifts the mug (already 1/2 filled with a triple shot of espresso and milk) toward a brass valve on torpedo tube #4. He turns the valve 1/4 turn and pressurized steam begins to bubble into mug. There is a hint of solvent, yes, but also the wonderful smell of steamed milk and strong coffee.........*



* If you are struck with the notion that every Dutch enlisted man or officer below the rank of Lt. Cmdr in this story is either called Van Meter or Van Dyke, it is only a few neurons paying a trick on you. Pay no attention to it.

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:18 pm
by Nemo121
Islands sized 1 and 2? Are you referring to total port and AF build size? or basic port and AF potential?

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:20 pm
by witpqs
ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Islands sized 1 and 2? Are you referring to total port and AF build size? or basic port and AF potential?

1) All Atolls (regardless of size).

2) All islands size 1 and 2 (regardless of Atoll versus other terrain type).

Island size 1 = capacity 6,000
Island size 2 = capacity 30,000 (IIRC, but I'm sure it's in the manual)

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:02 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: witpqs
ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Islands sized 1 and 2? Are you referring to total port and AF build size? or basic port and AF potential?

1) All Atolls (regardless of size).

2) All islands size 1 and 2 (regardless of Atoll versus other terrain type).

Island size 1 = capacity 6,000
Island size 2 = capacity 30,000 (IIRC, but I'm sure it's in the manual)

I am feeling that familiar pulsatile headache feeling when AE minutiae are discussed. Do you mean to say there are atolls that can hold more than 6000? [&:]

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:08 pm
by Alfred
No.

The previous, and now established to be mistaken, general view that an anto shock attack only occured on atolls. The correct position is that it occurs on islands sized 1 or 2. It just so happens that atolls are found only on size 1.

Alfred

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:09 pm
by witpqs
Christmas Island (Pacific) - have a look.

EDIT: I think Fanning Island, too.

RE: EVAC

Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:14 pm
by Alfred
ORIGINAL: witpqs

Christmas Island (Pacific) - have a look.

EDIT: I think Fanning Island, too.

Yes, I stand corrected. But I have never viewed Christmas Is. to be a true atoll. In the game it is unlimited troop capacity and therefore not a size 1 or 2. There ought to be no auto shock attack there.

Alfred