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Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

ORIGINAL: sprior

Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

Antipodean Anschluss?

ORIGINAL: sprior

Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

Antipodean Anschluss?

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So, anyway, on this Florida trip after a couple or "Rumrunners" (which is an absolutely sissy frozen drink that tastes like frozen strawberries and cough syrup but is made with Bacardi 151 so it was actually used by the KGB as truth serum at one point..note the Rumrunners were ordered for me it was an offer I couldnt refuse) Stalker Girl starts to blab. She tells this story about her adoptive mom's sister in Chicago who has five kids, two of which were the children of her husband, who now swims with the fishes (natural death, apparently) and three of which were not his. The thing is, everybody knew this, including he and the kids and even the neioghbors but he acted as their father. Now, naturally, this was a bit awkward, so the peripatetic aunt advances the legend that her husband had $100K in gambling debts to the Mob so he loaned her out to gangsters to pay off the debt and that is where the kids came from and that his willinglness to raise them was part of the deal. [:D][:D]

Now, two Rumrunners was NOT enough to make me believe that story, neither was it believed by the other Chicago guy, who is not Sicilian but grew up in Cicero. If you do the math you have to wonder how many "loaners" does it take to pay off $100K? Even worse, the peripatetic aunt admitted she once had an orgasm as one of her bastard kids was crowning during labor. [:D] Any woman who can reach orgasm during labor has to have a "hair" trigger.

The final bucket of cement on the shoe was the story that when her husband died she took out 2 dozen golf balls from his desk and promptly hit them into a pond followed by his clubs at which time she proclaimed, "All that little ****** left me was two kids and two dozen golf balls".

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I thought the quote RE American Austrian translator was a clever quip based on a recent gaff in the lead up to the G20 summit where a figurine of the Australian Prime Minister was dressed up in Austrian traditional dress.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/figurine-depicts-julia-gillard-as-austrian-leader-ahead-of-g20-summit-in-seoul/story-e6frep26-1225951371993
Or maybe Americans really can't tell the difference on a map.................

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

On my trip to Florida, one of the Chicagoans adavanced a theory that might explain why Eastern Command is actually West of Southwest Pacific Command. Now, keep in mind, this is HIS theory not mine and even his own wife thought he was full of manure. In his defence, though, he is Sicilian.

It goes something like this..."if you head East long enough, at some point you have to be going West, right. After all, if you head North far enough you will be going South, right"?

[:D]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
[Us Americans are better learnt about geography and such things.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
[Us Americans are better learnt about geography and such things.

Tell that to George W
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... gaffe.html

But then again............he had a few vastly more amusing "Bushisms"

This is my favourite, and strangely appropriate to the current course of both my PBEM's (I appear to be my own worst enemy)

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

ORIGINAL: sprior

June 15th 1942, Shwebo.

7th Armoured move to the ouskirts of Shwebo and find the place defended by the equivilant of 2 Divisions waiting for them. The losses in men is not high but mant tanks are left behind:

Losses at Suva last 4 days. I am not sure why I had a mine tender at Suva considering there is no minefield

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I finished Miracle at Midway (the good guys won) on the way to Florida and I needed something to read on the flight back so I would forget that I couldn't feel my knees, the stewardesses were all older than me, I had to pay to check my luggage and I didn't get any damn free peanuts. I bought the NYT in Florida and read it on the way to DFW. It was really bad. The lead article was on new Haitian relgious cults...zzzzzzzzzz. In DFW I bought this Crichton novel. It was pretty good and I reached page 128 over New Mexico...then there were 58 pages missing [:@][:@] There was nothing left to read but American Airlines travel crap in Spanish. Some woman two rows in front literally coughed every 5 seconds for the entire flight! Santa Maria! Take some albuterol or something or get your TB treated.

Madre de Dios! I hate flying...especially in the cattle section. I wouldn't mind paying for stale crackers if you at least got to see some nice tatas when they bend over to give it to you. The uniforms at McDonalds are hotter. No wonder the airlines are all bankrupt.*

*I just ealized this really isn't germane