Matrix Games Forums

Hey Pat,
 
Bend over, grab your ankles and spell RUN really fast 3 times.....[:D][:D]

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

I tried reading a manual once while assembling Ikea furniture. Somehow wound up building the thing upside down. It was really confusing. [&:][:D]

That was your anti-wisdom at work.

Besides, you're a guy. What the he11 are you doing reading the manual? Are you a girlie man or something?

Next thing we know, you'll be confessing that you actually stopped and asked for directions.

And if you admit that you have ever left the toilet seat down, I will have lost all respect for you.

1) I wasnt reading the manual. I was just looking at the pictures.

2) I never stop and ask for directions. I ask for them while moving. The doppler effect is really cool.

3) I may have left the toilet seat down once or twice, but it was only because its more comfortable to rest your chin on while you pour out your deepest feelings.

ORIGINAL: SGT Swanson

Hey Pat,

Bend over, grab your ankles and spell RUN really fast 3 times.....[:D][:D]

I beg your pardon. At my age and state of decrepitude, such an activity is something not to be even contemplated, let alone attempted.

The bending or the spelling?

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

The bending or the spelling?

It's the grabbing, mostly.

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

The bending or the spelling?

It's the grabbing, mostly.

That activity should be contemplated with care at any age.

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo
That activity should be contemplated with care at any age.

I used to be a great grabber. The neighborhood pre-teen girls loved me. Then, I was sent away to a place where I had to learn basket weaving.

But I'm feeling much better now.

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

I tried reading a manual once while assembling Ikea furniture. Somehow wound up building the thing upside down. It was really confusing. [&:][:D]

Manual? For IKEA? I thought it was just pictures!

Bud Light Commercial on the subject:

Mr. Furniture Assembly Manual Writer

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Furniture Assembly Manual Writer
(Mr. Furniture Assembly Manual Writer)
Thanks to you, people everywhere can simply purchase furniture,
drive it home, open a box, and go completely insane.
(Driving me crazy)
Knowing we can't read Chineese, Dutch, or German,
you thoughtfully include pictures.
Pictures that look nothing like the item purchased.
(No spreakinze Dutch now)
Insert piece A into slot B, put C into hole D
Then curse, cry and smash with hammer.
(Oh no!)


So, crack open an ice cold budlight oh maestro of the manual,
You make it so simple, a monkey could do it.
A rocket scientist monkey.
(That's one smart monkey)

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo
That activity should be contemplated with care at any age.

I used to be a great grabber. The neighborhood pre-teen girls loved me. Then, I was sent away to a place where I had to learn basket weaving.

But I'm feeling much better now.

Dr. Schlosshammer again? (see vague reference below)

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Aaah, Dr. Schlosshammer... How is ol' Frederick these days? I went to school with him at the Leningrad University Institute for Inflicting Pain on Defenceless Animals for Fun, but we unfortunately lost touch...

<looks at post above> [X(][X(][X(][X(][X(][X(]



Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! What have I done????!!!!! I have crossed The Thread and The anti-Thread. A monstrous, cataclysmic explosion will shortly follow destroying much of the world.

Oh don't be silly! No monstrous, cataclysmic explosion will have any effect on the ANTI-THREAD. The Anti-Thread will live for 10,000 years.

Now, because of your action with the threads most of humanity could be vaporized any second now but that is another story. Maybe you should call the Ghost Busters since they have experience with crossing beams, threads and the like?

Long live the Anti-Thread[&o][&o][&o]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

<looks at post above> [X(][X(][X(][X(][X(][X(]



Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! What have I done????!!!!! I have crossed The Thread and The anti-Thread. A monstrous, cataclysmic explosion will shortly follow destroying much of the world.

ORIGINAL: Mark VII
because of your action with the threads most of humanity could be vaporized any second now

Care to explain that? C'mon, you cant just make a statement like that and walk off. I went and put my lucky, anti-vaporization boxer shorts on, but nothings happening.

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo
Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! What have I done????!!!!! I have crossed The Thread and The anti-Thread. A monstrous, cataclysmic explosion will shortly follow destroying much of the world.

We can only hope.

Is there any chance we can pick the parts to be destroyed?

"I don't know where we went wrong,
But the feeling's gone,
And I just can't get it back." - G. Lightfoot


Old Gordon doesn't get played at many parties. Real downer. [:(]

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald isn't likley to get people up ton the dance floor.

ORIGINAL: RUPD3658
Old Gordon doesn't get played at many parties. Real downer. [:(]

"Old Gordon" is right...

Hmmm...let's try the picture thingie again...



I remember back in the '80s, Lightfoot and another young fella whose career was pretty much over, Kris Kristofferson, did a nostalgia tour. I had a seat close to the stage (it wasn't exactly a sellout crowd), and the two of 'em were creaking and croaking along at some song or other, when, all of a sudden, ole Gord leans back away from the microphone and says, "Aw, sh1t, Kris, I'm really drunk!"

Ah, yes, another moment to treasure...

If he toured with Gilbert O'Sullivan (another happy Canadian) there would be a mass suicide due to depression at the end of the show.

Well I consider a "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion" and "vaporized" in the same "disaster catagory", sorta the same end result. And you yourself admitted that you had crossed the threads and that there was a possibility of a "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion" because of said crossing. "Vaporized" just takes less time to type so I used it instead of "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion".

Which boxer shorts did you put on when you are expecting the "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion" earlier today?[:D] Are these different shorts than a possible mass vaporization event?

Maybe it wasn't a true "crossing of the threads" as I havn't noticed any cataclysmic events either. Except maybe in New York where they are eating there own as the Yankee fans have gone bonzo on ARod. You never boo you own guys, at least not untill the season is a total bust and there is no chance of making the post season.

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Mark VII
because of your action with the threads most of humanity could be vaporized any second now

Care to explain that? C'mon, you cant just make a statement like that and walk off. I went and put my lucky, anti-vaporization boxer shorts on, but nothings happening.

ORIGINAL: Mark VII

You never boo you own guys, at least not untill the season is a total bust and there is no chance of making the post season.

You are clearly not from Philadelphia. Opening day goes like this:

1. National Anthem
2. Introduction of the team
3. 1st pitch
4. "You suck!" yelled by Phillies fan. [:D]

Then again this is OK by your rules because as of the 1st pitch of the season the Phillies are a total bust and there is no chance of making the post season.[:(]

Ah, there is always next year.

ORIGINAL: Mark VII
Which boxer shorts did you put on when you are expecting the "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion" earlier today?[:D] Are these different shorts than a possible mass vaporization event?

Now, see, when you put these things in the context of boxer shorts, the difference between them becomes evident.

The "monstrous, cataclysmic explosion" is what you generally get from Mexican food con frijoles. "Mass vaporization" follows a night of beer drinking.

When you eat Mexican food and drink beer all night, the result is similar to what is predicted if the earth is ever hit by a "planet killer" asteroid (I am refraining from breaking that last word up into its two component elements with comic potential - "ass" and "roid" - because I wouldn't want anyone to think I only indulge in bathroom humor).

Sphincter says what?