Matrix Games Forums

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

A6M2 sweep range with drop tanks is 11/14 (normal/extended).

Santa Maria! Why didn't someone tell me. Then those really were carrier zeroes flying from Tanna [:@] No wonder I cant spot any carriers.

The other interesting upshot of this is, based on recon of 95-100 fighters there, virtually every fighter on Tanna flew a sweep mission on the 13th. This means we can hit Tanna with the 17's with little risk.

DOH!

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ETA: What's your status in China?

I am taller than 99.99% and my nose is bigger than 92%


[/quote]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I actually do have some "saddle shoes"...but they have golf cleats in them.[:)]


Three doctors are out hunting together in a blind.

A duck comes by and the internist stands up and says, "Duck, rule out chicken, rule out goose...BLAM!"

Another duck comes by and the psychiatrist stands up and says, "How does it feel to be a duck......BLAM!"

A third duck comes by and the surgeon stands up, "BLAM...what was that?"

I have some clients that will enjoy this [:D]

Bah..no turn.

So this 14 yr old kid comes in for his high school sports physical yesterday and, naturally, the form requires me to certify he has no hernia because that's what D,C&H told them to put on the form (along with the date of Smallpox vaccination which has been done in 30 yrs).

So he drops trow and I tell him to "turn his head to the right and cough". He reaches down, grabs his unit and pulls it over to one side and coughs. I thought it was a bit odd...but I've got work to do so I tell him to "Turn your head to the left and cough please" and he yanks his unit way over to his left and coughs....and THEN I realized we had was a "failure to communicate" [:D]

I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines so we did away with our sign-in sheet in the front office and put up a sheet of ID stickers on a clipboard. The patient is instructed to write his/her name and phone number on the sticker and give it back to the receptionist who then adds it to the arrived list behind the counter in a secure location.

My genius nephew, who is a PhD candidate in biomedical engineering, came in and was given the clipboard. He wrote in big letters "Hi I'm Robert" <not real name> and stuck it on his shirt. So much for HIPPA compliance. [:D][:D][:D]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines ...

Although well-intentioned, like so many other gov't mandates, HIPPA has caused more problems that it was worth: just try getting a patient update, even in person and even if you're a blood relative.

ORIGINAL: Joe D.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines ...

Although well-intentioned, like so many other gov't mandates, HIPPA has caused more problems that it was worth: just try getting a patient update, even in person and even if you're a blood relative.

Sir, I reject you characterization of the worth of government programs. I can name many that have worked as promised....why there was the......ummmm......oh, how about the......perhaps not........I'll get back to you.

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
What's your status in China?

I've heard that Sprior has a rather nice tea set.

ORIGINAL: Dixie

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
What's your status in China?

I've heard that Sprior has a rather nice tea set.

Why, that's lovely, simply lovely.


I thought of a government program that delivered as promised, the Manhattan Project. Even better, it wasn't over budget because it didn't have a budget. [:)]

****************July 14, 1942**********

Oz: There are, all of a sudden, 19,000 WJD's and a bunch of guns at Darwin, this might be a whole Jap division. There are also 1-2 AK/AP's. We don't know if they are coming or going or just moved up for garrison duty. A nest of RNN and USN subs are lurking about trying to kill ships coming or going from Darwin. If the troop number declines then we know they were leaving. [:)]

Port Headland has only a few Aux aricraft, probably recon.

Any chance of talking you out of a direct assault on Darwin? IMHO, there's better options for you up in N. Oz than jumping onto a hex with some 20k WJDs on it.

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.
&nbsp;
From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.&nbsp; "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:
&nbsp;
Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:&nbsp; What do you suggest?
Therapist:&nbsp; Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.
&nbsp;
Rogerian:
P:&nbsp; Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:&nbsp; Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:&nbsp; Why are you parroting me?
T:&nbsp; You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:&nbsp; What the hell is going on here?
T:&nbsp; You sound confused.
&nbsp;
Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.
&nbsp;
The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.&nbsp; Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.&nbsp; If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.&nbsp; They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.&nbsp; I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.&nbsp; the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.&nbsp; After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?
&nbsp;
Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.&nbsp; This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
&nbsp;

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Any chance of talking you out of a direct assault on Darwin? IMHO, there's better options for you up in N. Oz than jumping onto a hex with some 20k WJDs on it.

As far as I know no direct landing at Darwin is evisioned. 2 divisions are prepped for Wyndham. I am not sure where Br. 2nd Div and East Africa brigade are going.

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.

So here's the cartoon about Pediatricians from the classic "12 Medical Specialty Stereotypes:"

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.

And Psychiatrists:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.

And Psychiatrists:

Santos Mio! Let's try that again!

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

Orthopedic surgeon, eh? I'll have that description up on Monday...[;)]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Dear Chickenboy;


Thank you for your kind offer. Fortunately, the doctors don't think Captain Mandrake's epic pipe-laying ability will be affected. It seems the PVC glue didn't stick to the titanium plate he has in his skull.

I was somewhat unhappy to learn that my Christams gift didn't have the ceramic band because the bastard told me it did.


Mrs. Mandrake


PS...he asks that "Johnny Jap" (whoever that is) please send the turn

Dear Mrs. Mandrake,

So solly but no Johnny Jap here.

P.S. Sounds like your husband is in mafia.

ORIGINAL: bigred

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

Yes, I would recommend definitions be established for "pipe laying " versus "bottom dwelling".

Do we have anyone second that motion? [:D]

For those Trekkies in the audience-'going to Uranus to fight the Klingons' is a suitable missive.

never heard that one. Did you jut make that up? [X(]