Matrix Games Forums

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

For those Trekkies in the audience-'going to Uranus to fight the Klingons' is a suitable missive.

never heard that one. Did you jut make that up? [X(]

Dude...that's as old an old-school Trekkie joke as there is. Not that I'm a Trekkie or anything...

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

If this poor soul didn't make it with the au pair then his problem isn't depression, he likely has a global cognitive impairment. Don't au pairs pretty much expect someone to come on to them?

....Well, that's what I heard.

Oh wait...I just saw it was his "childhood au pair". I suppose that is different but if he was over 13 at the time I still think he may be a retard.

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

Got that covered too:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

To be fair, I've got to include my own specialty...

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

Got that covered too:

You're not going to get me to bad mouth my orthopedic surgeon. He's a nice guy and he knows what he's doing. On top of that he used plenty of local anesthesia so that I only felt pressure no pain when he was using the forceps.[8D]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.[:)]

Got that covered too:

Applying the age old wisdom : "Brute force, if it's not working, you're not using enough"

Hey-it's still being taught.

For bovine dystocias, we have the 'two strong guys and a chain' principle for extricating the calf. Failing the presence of two strong guys, some substitute a front end loader or Deere tractor / cultivator, if available. This practice is more-how shall we say-prone to error.

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Hey-it's still being taught.

For bovine dystocias, we have the 'two strong guys and a chain' principle for extricating the calf. Failing the presence of two strong guys, some substitute a front end loader or Deere tractor / cultivator, if available. This practice is more-how shall we say-prone to error.

Well, I suppose you could just tickle the creature. [:D]

[:D][:D][:D] Big dumb guy recognized first big word - bovine - not a clue about the second word, BUT since fit hitting the shan is quickly dismissed as the cause, that leaves animal husbandry as solution, which means from prior experience - big dumb guy did it, but whatever went wrong is his fault AND must be fixed pronto!!!

AM I CLOSE? [:D][:D][:D]

This has to be the most eclectic AAR ever [:D]

ORIGINAL: moore4807

[:D][:D][:D] Big dumb guy recognized first big word - bovine - not a clue about the second word, BUT since fit hitting the shan is quickly dismissed as the cause, that leaves animal husbandry as solution, which means from prior experience - big dumb guy did it, but whatever went wrong is his fault AND must be fixed pronto!!!

AM I CLOSE? [:D][:D][:D]

There was an email going around my work recently with amusing answers given on GED exams. One of the mas something like:

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Sign in today IJZOQU which is Swahili for "that damned Britisher brigade have left so let's go down to the coffee auction house and tear down that really annoying bust of chubby boy Churchill or something"

************July 14, 1942**************

50 some odd Zeroes swept over Suva today and encountered a roughly equal number of P-39's and Marine F4F's. Perhaps owing to assigned altitudes, the F4F's took the brunt of the fight. 10 F4F's were lost to 8 Zeroes.

A B-17 raid of 23 aircraft over Noumea caught the Japs sleeping with no CAP. 5 PBY's were destroyed on the ground, probably at Nadi.

The big news is the nest of wee Jap dobbers at Suva finally ceased to exist. 2 USMC regiments, a Marine Def Bn., 3 Bn of Arty and one of AA guns will move to Nadi to begin the destruction of the Ronsons.

The B-17's will attack Tanna today.

OK...who changed the title to "how to treat a lady"?

Smart ass.


Speaking of treating people nicely, I went to the funeral of a colleague yesterday. Big crowd and the speakers were fantastic although the ceremony was at a Masonic temple and I thought they were going to sacrifice a goat or something.

In any event the man was genuinely loved by everyone there. It got me to thinking. I am going to try to be nicer. I hereby resolve not to say "Little Yellow Bastards" anymore.

We interviewed this lawyer for a by-laws rewrite and the guys wanted $540 an hour [X(] Santa Maria! That is worse than Saul the gardener.

Even his "para-legals" bill $180 an hour. That seems high as well but I guess there is an extra charge for jumping out of the C-47 or something.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We interviewed this lawyer for a by-laws rewrite and the guys wanted $540 an hour [X(] Santa Maria! That is worse than Saul the gardener.

Even his "para-legals" bill $180 an hour. That seems high as well but I guess there is an extra charge for jumping out of the C-47 or something.

540 an hour ? Geez.

The PBY's were ops losses, Cap. BTW, what about the WJD's in the jungle NW of Suva? Have they turned in their rice bowls yet?

ORIGINAL: witpqs

The PBY's were ops losses, Cap. BTW, what about the WJD's in the jungle NW of Suva? Have they turned in their rice bowls yet?

There appear to be NO WJD's on the "North Shore" of Fiji, just 8 "guns". Apparently, before the last WJD of this particular Naval Guard unit perished they gave some Emperor Brand Koolaide to the weapons and now THEY refuse to surrender. Best intel is we have one Type 92, two Type 11's and five "knee mortars"* held up in a cave complex. We lost two Stuarts trying to flush them out a few days ago so the current thinking is just to seal up the cave with lava rocks. Anything we have left over we can use for landscaping at SouPac Air HQ. The armored bn. will move to Nadi which also has plenty of guns but also has WJD's to move them around and such so they are more dangerous.



* These are said to be particularly ill-tempered owing to the silly (and mildly disrepectful) name given them by Allied soldiers. They were already somewhat touchy over their "size".

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sign in today IJZOQU which is Swahili for "that damned Britisher brigade have left so let's go down to the coffee auction house and tear down that really annoying bust of chubby boy Churchill or something"

What an organized and concise language those Swahilians have. The pronunciation may be a tad problematic,though.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We interviewed this lawyer for a by-laws rewrite and the guys wanted $540 an hour [X(] Santa Maria! That is worse than Saul the gardener.

Even his "para-legals" bill $180 an hour. That seems high as well but I guess there is an extra charge for jumping out of the C-47 or something.

Either the guy is really, really....I mean REALLY good.....or he's just a greedy douche taking advantage of people in a tough economic climate.