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ORIGINAL: parusski

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: michael1776

You seem nervous Warspite. Is this your first time?

MJ

warspite1

Oh No - I've been nervous lot of times?

No wonder you're upset. She's lovely. And a darling figure... supple, pouting breasts... firm thighs. It's a shame you two don't get along.

How are you feeling, Darling?

warspite1

'How lucky you English are to find the toilet so amusing. For us, it is a mundane and functional item. For you it is the basis of an entire culture.'

@ Warspite and michael1776:

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.



@Warspite and parusski:

Something's the matter. Something sinister and something grotesque. And what's worse is that it's going on right here under my very nose.

Sir, your moustache is lovely...

ORIGINAL: Lord Zimoa

@ Warspite and michael1776:

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.



@Warspite and parusski:

Something's the matter. Something sinister and something grotesque. And what's worse is that it's going on right here under my very nose.

Sir, your moustache is lovely...

warspite1

@ Lord Zimoa and michael1776 - Guys I am counting on you here (one sentence at a time please!)

The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

@ Lord Zimoa and parusski

If you mean, "Are we all going to get killed?" Yes. Clearly, Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.

I have... a plan, sir.

Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?

Yes, sir.

As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?

Yes, sir.

Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here? Good luck, everyone.

Warspite, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium? You like movies about gladiators?

Right! Let's dig out your best booze and talk about me till the car comes!

The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.


Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out I'm missing, five hundred girls will kill themselves. And I wouldn't want them on my conscience, not when they ought to be on my *face*! Hello? Cancel the state funeral, tell the king to stop blubbing, Flash is not dead! I simply ran out of juice! And before five hundred girls all go 'oh, what's the point in living any more?' I'm talking about petrol! Woof! Send someone along to pick me up. General Melchett's driver will do, she hangs round with a big knob so she'll be used to a fellow like me. Woof!

ORIGINAL: Lord Zimoa

@ Warspite and michael1776:

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.



@Warspite and parusski:

Something's the matter. Something sinister and something grotesque. And what's worse is that it's going on right here under my very nose.

Sir, your moustache is lovely...

Lord Zimoa, "do be kind enough to slam your head into a fire door."

And warspite1 eats macaroni like a bloody warthog.

Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Now I may be packing the kind of tackle that you'd normally expect to find swinging about between the hindlegs of a Grand National winner, but I'm not totally stupid. I've got the kind of feeling you'd rather we hadn't come.

ORIGINAL: warspite1

[Male announcer] The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

[Female announcer] The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

warspite1

[Male announcer] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Captain Blackadder: Don't forget your stick Lieutenant
Lieutenant George: Rather, sir. Wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this.

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: warspite1

[Male announcer] The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

[Female announcer] The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

warspite1

[Male announcer] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

[Female announcer] No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: warspite1




[Female announcer] The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

warspite1

[Male announcer] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

[Female announcer] No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.

[Male announcer] The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.

[Female announcer] Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!

[ Male announcer] Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone s*** again.

[Male announcer] There's just no stopping in a white zone.

[Female announcer] Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

[Male announcer] It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

What's going on? We have a right to know the truth!

What was it we had for dinner tonight, Dave? Well we had a choice of steak or fish. Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

Dave, you're a girl, and you have the same talent for disguise as a giraffe in sunglasses trying to get into a polar-bears-only golf club.