20th July 1941
Turn 8
Quelle surprise as they say in downtown Petrograd - Kiev has fallen and Paranoia has increased to 40!! [X(] I assume that is why I have no reinforcements - but it gets worse.....
I have to admit that, yes, there may be a
crisis and that the war is not going exactly to plan. So I play the card admitting that there is a... ahem...
crisis and this costs 10pp - but should lower costs going foward.
With hindsight, maybe I would have been better playing the Reorganise card or Prioritise Front, but if so it's too late as I have insufficient PP. Instead I have enough PP to play the 'Exhort Victory' card (5pp).
This means I get to give one of my rousing speeches to my adoring public. I love this part of my job. I remember the last speech I made in public. There was a moment in the proceedings I had them all cracking up.
I was in Leningrad giving a long speech at an event to mark my first 10 years in office. The audience must have been about 1,000. When I was halfway through, somebody sneezes. So I stop and look at the audience.
"Who sneezed?" I asked.
Deathly silence. Strangely no one says anything.
"I repeat, who sneezed?"
Not a peep. I could not understand why no one was answering me.
"Very well," I said. "First row, stand up!" Everyone in the first row stands up, at which point I do the natural thing and order: "Guards! Open fire!"
A few seconds later, the entire first row of the audience is lying in bloody heaps on the ground. It was hilarious.
"Now, who sneezed?" I repeated. But still there was not a sound from the audience. "Second row, stand up! Guards! Open fire!" Soon everyone in the second row is on the floor writhing in agony or dead. What was I supposed to do in such a situation? I asked the same question a further time naturally.
"Now, comrades: who sneezed?" But there was absolute silence. "Third row! Stand up! Guards! Op...."
"Wait! Wait!" From the sixth row a man suddenly rises up, shaking so hard with fear, I could barely contain my laughter. "Please! Comrade Stalin!" he says to me. "It was me. I sneezed."
"You sneezed?" I enquired.
"Yes, Comrade Stalin, yes. It was me."
"Bless you, comrade!" I said, and then carried on with my wonderful speech.
Ahh fun times!
