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Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:44 am
by Bernie
Jess retaliates!
In an effort to get to the bottom of the mystery behind the kats renewed interest in him, Jess has called in a crack team of Japanese "Anti-Kat Terrorist" commandos!
They carefully surveyed Jess's home and then laid a cunning trap. Knowing that no kat could resist a dangling toy they setup their cameras to record the capture. Here is the exclusive video!
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/vids/nokia.mpg
Unfortunately, "Lucky" their almost-prisoner, managed to escape their bumbling efforts, and reported back to Kat HQ with his story of torture and attempted interrogation.
Things can only escalate from here folks!
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:54 am
by M4Jess
After the Kat got away, we found another, and resorted to Chinese water torture....."we have ways to make you talk!"

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:59 am
by M4Jess
Sir! The Kats have resorted to dirty tricks! They are using Tennis Ball Cannons!
err...would you mind removing this thing from my head?

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 3:04 am
by M4Jess
Meanwhile, at the Jess' House the mine clearing continues....

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 3:11 am
by M4Jess
During the Chinese water torture..the damm Kat blew up! One of our "men" was "Slimed" with Kat Guts and well....lost it!

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 3:20 am
by M4Jess
Sir! As you ordered, we continue our training....

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 6:05 am
by tracer
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 11:43 am
by Bernie
Upon hearing the news that Jess has now enlisted dogs for mine clearing duty, and for carrying explosives to destroy vehicles, the entire Kat World erupts in celebration!
Seen below, two high ranking members of the Kat Kommand roar with laughter and exchange "high 5's" at the news:
[center]When told that Jess now believes himself to be safe from further attacks, the hilarity spreads throughout the Kat Kommunity:[/center]
[center]

[/center]

However, a spokes kat for the Kat Koilition had this to say:
[center]

[/center]
[center]
"We ain't done with you pal... heheh"[/center]
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 12:19 pm
by Bernie
This just in...
One of Jess's new guard dogs had this to say when interviewed after quitting his job:
"Chase tigers and panthers? Search for landmines? Carry explosives? What kind of fool do I look like? Sheesh! Some people...!"
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 12:39 pm
by Bernie
Exclusive!
Interview with "Lucky"!
Speaking from a private room in the Katmandu Kat Klinic, "Lucky," the cat who barely escaped with his life from Jess's fiendish trap, had this to say:
"The docs tell me there will be no permanent injury from that hellish torture, but I tell you, I feel fortunate to be alive!
I knew something was up when those Japanese guys kept trying to get me to defect. I turned to escape, but they had this hypnosis machine going in the center of the room. I couldn't help myself... it just drew me in... closer and closer, teasing me with that tuna scented toy mouse! It's not my fault I tell you! I tried to resist, but it was no use! Those FIENDS! They knew just how to trap me... trap ANY kat! When thier evil trap grabbed me, and I started flying through the air, I thought I was a goner! Fortunately, we Kommando Kats train for things like this. My training kicked in on its own and I managed to free myself from the contraption. The leg was injured when I bounced off the wall, but I still managed to get away and report back to HQ on the other three. My superiors say I'll get a Purple Hartz award for this, and that I'm some kind of hero. I don't know about that, I feel I just did my duty.
Will we retaliate? I'm assured by my KO that we will, but they're keeping the whole plan under tight wraps for security reasons.
Excuse me... I need to go lie down now...
Nurse? Can you give me my bath now?"
"Yes Lucky, but first I have something to say to the press about M4Jess... Only a truly sick and evil mind would commit such attrocities on us lovable creatures! I spit on you, AND your dogs! Phhhhuuuuttt!!!"
"Come on Lucky, my hero, I'll give you that bath now..."
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 6:37 pm
by Goblin
WHY IS THIS THREAD NOT ALREADY IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!???!!!
Goblin
LMAO...
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 6:46 pm
by Orzel Bialy
Bernie for Forum President!
Too damned funny!!!
Question?
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 7:45 pm
by M4Jess
Ahhh Yes...
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 7:47 pm
by Orzel Bialy
if ever there was a self portrait for you...that would be it Jess.

Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2003 1:02 am
by Bernie
Goblin wrote:WHY IS THIS THREAD NOT ALREADY IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!???!!!
Goblin
I suspect that, with Mike's retirement from the forums, and his position as moderator, the two remaining moderators are swamped...or laughing too hard to click the mouse.

RE:
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 3:29 am
by Bernie
Badda-bump!
RE: RE:
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 3:40 am
by stevemk1a
Scale Modelers among us will note with interest the previously unseen dappled "Dunkelgrau" camoflauge scheme sported by this Kat ...
Note the care taken to tamp down the loose dirt around the mine! ...
Sneaky Krauts!! [:D]
RE:
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 4:27 am
by Huffy
Jess.....well...I don't usally side with the "cats"....but that was really good... almost spit my beer out all over my moniter...
Yea...I'm kinda chuckling right now writing this...
Take care,
Huffy
RE: RE:
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 4:42 am
by chief
Bernie: I just reread the M4 saga and I still had to laugh.[:D] My cat "KIWI" who sits next to me when on on the comp wants you to be careful what you write about the Hiss Squad,[:-] she's acquainted, being an old streetwalker, with a few of those boys you wrote about.

Beware Bernie this Cat lady rules.

RE: RE:
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 9:46 am
by M4Jess
Damn Kat Lovers [:@]