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RE: Mary, Mother of God!
Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:08 pm
by Kwik E Mart
ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo
ORIGINAL: Kwik E Mart
Pilot Nuggetelli: Transponder inop for entire mission.
Senior Chief: Moved transponder switch to O-N position. Now transponder is four-oh.
Pilot Newbie: Encountered strange sqeaky noise in cockpit in vicinity of co-pilot's seat.
Senior Chief: Applied anti-sqeaky juice in vicinity of co-pilot's seat. No noises encountered.
Did the co-pilot have something funny for breakfast?
The first one you're on your own with.
we had one pilot we gave the handle "Caveman" to, based on the way he ate his food....nuff said...[;)]
RE: Luzon
Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:24 pm
by khyberbill
The step got the shaft? And the nail, wasnt?
The nail got nailed with a real hammer.
RE: Luzon
Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:30 pm
by Kwik E Mart
ORIGINAL: khyberbill
The step got the shaft? And the nail, wasnt?
The nail got nailed with a real hammer.
i'm still trying to get my melon around the "hammer a nail into
concrete" concept....
RE: Luzon
Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:37 pm
by khyberbill
i'm still trying to get my melon around the "hammer a nail into concrete" concept...
They actually make fluted nails designed to be hammered into concrete to hold edge guards, braces etc, for those of us who cant afford a Hilti.
RE: Mary, Mother of God!
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 9:51 am
by whippleofd
well, someone quite similar...my maintenance senior chief...used to write witty responses in the Gripe Log, such as:
Pilot Nuggetelli: Transponder inop for entire mission.
Senior Chief: Moved transponder switch to O-N position. Now transponder is four-oh.
Pilot Newbie: Encountered strange sqeaky noise in cockpit in vicinity of co-pilot's seat.
Senior Chief: Applied anti-sqeaky juice in vicinity of co-pilot's seat. No noises encountered.
When a Chief is training an officer; sometimes it's straight forward, sometimes more subtle ways are needed. [;)]
Whipple
RE: Mary, Mother of God!
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:01 pm
by sprior
Jan 24
Crabs come good again:
Allied aircraft
Vildebeest III x 6
B-339D x 2
Allied aircraft losses
Vildebeest III: 5 damaged
Japanese Ships
xAK Tatuwa Maru
xAK Yamabiko Maru, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk
Japanese ground losses:
241 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 11 disabled
Non Combat: 3 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
JJ has moved out of Merak and it looks like the battle of Sumatra has begun.
Meanwhile at Toungoo a base force holds off the 14 Tank Regt for a day. IG Div attacks Bassein only to find it empty.
VC's all around
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:09 pm
by Cap Mandrake
Meanwhile at Toungoo a base force holds off the 14 Tank Regt for a day..
******With the RAF, 11th Auxillary Erstwhile Antitank Coy., Tuoungoo, Siam, January 25, 1942*****
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: ...right, so how many Boys rifles do we have?
Soldier 1: None Sir.
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Bloody Hell! And PIAT's?
Soldier 2: 'aven't been invented yet, sir.
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Oh, bugger! Any ideas? We need to stop those little yellow bastards in those damnable tankettes.
Soldier 2: Lt., remember when young Llewelyn blew himself up by overinflating that Wapiti tyre?
RE: VC's all around
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:11 pm
by Dixie
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Meanwhile at Toungoo a base force holds off the 14 Tank Regt for a day..
******With the RAF, 11th Auxillary Erstwhile Antitank Coy., Tuoungoo, Siam, January 25, 1942*****
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: ...right, so how many Boys rifles do we have?
Soldier 1: None Sir.
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Bloody Hell! And PIAT's?
Soldier 2: 'aven't been invented yet, sir.
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Oh, bugger! Any ideas? We need to stop those little yellow bastards in those damnable tankettes.
Soldier 2: Lt., remember when young Llewelyn blew himself up by overinflating that Wapiti tyre?
Sounds like you need sticky bombs. Those tropical knee length socks should be able to fit quite a bit of explosive..
RE: VC's all around
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:24 pm
by Cap Mandrake
******With the RAF, 11th Auxillary Erstwhile Antitank Coy., Tuoungoo, Siam, January 25, 1942*****
Soldier 1: 'ow about we put some charges in your stockings, cover them with axle grease and throw them against the tanks, sir?
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: That does have merit, but I rather fancy my stockings.
Soldier 1: Honestly, sir, they make you look like a homosexual.
Lt. Uppington-Smyth: They absolutely do no such thing......do you really.......right, so I want the overinflated Wapiti tyres spaced every 15 ft along the road and I shall remove my stockings for the sticky bombs...
Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:28 pm
by Cap Mandrake
So, I suggest to Lord Admiral Sprior that he move some Uglofortresses into Balikpapan to strike the Jap shipping at Samarinda and the very next turn the Japs cross the river, shock attack, and capture Balikpapan. [:D][:D][:D]
He would be wise to paternalistically acknowledge my suggestions and then do just the opposite. [:'(]
RE: Luzon
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:38 pm
by Cap Mandrake
Luzon 1-25-42: I moved a second tank Bn. to Manila as a reinforcement. This worked well as the Jap attack went off at 1:2.
Unfortunately, a Jap attack at Clark went off at 1:1 and removed the last fortifications there. I will take 2 Scout Bn's out of reserve and move a Milita Div. from Bataan and see if I can hold a bit longer at Clark.
The 3 P-38's at Bataan went into action today, ambushing, with the P-40's, a Jap raid on Manila. A dozen Nates and 2nd line bombers went down.
Bataan has 37,000 tons of supply.
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:13 pm
by witpqs
Boys Rifle or Boyes Rifle?
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 4:34 pm
by Cap Mandrake
Bloody Hell! Do I at least get credit for spelling "tyres" correctly?
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:04 pm
by witpqs
At least you discovered why the line is critically short of anti-tank rifles. The guys are well fed of course, there is a rabbit in every pot...
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:04 pm
by Mynok
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
He would be wise to paternalistically acknowledge my suggestions and then do just the opposite. [:'(]
Err....have you had some indications that he's ever done otherwise? [:'(]
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:36 pm
by sprior
He would be wise to paternalistically acknowledge my suggestions
I do, but on the inside.
RE: Dutch East Indies Contrarian Newsletter
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:04 pm
by Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: sprior
He would be wise to paternalistically acknowledge my suggestions
I do, but on the inside.
Oh the shame!
Wait, my mom didn't pay you to be on my team again, did she?
You know what, I think it is better to just not answer that.
Positive Nitrogen Balance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:34 pm
by Cap Mandrake
*******HQ, Heron Detachment, Nauru Island, January 26, 1942*******
Digger: <reclining shirtless on a beach chair> Lt., isn't it about time for the mail boat?
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: <also reclining on a beach chair, eyes closed> Good point. <thinking aloud> Every odd month on the 25th. Hmmm...what's the date?
Digger: 26th, I believe, Lt.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: God damnit! We draw duty on this stinking piece of rock and they can't even get the mail boat here on time once every two months. <resumes his previous torpid state...then after about 20 seconds he sits bolt upright> THE RUM RATION!
Digger: Yes sir, we are almost out.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: BUGGER! Raise Rabaul on the shortwave, NOW!
Digger: No can do, sir. The batteries are shot, been that way since the first week of December.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: MADRE DE DIOS! Well get what's his name to make some more of the cocconut shell batteries. Do I have to think of everything around here? <he takes a sip of his rum and coke and immediately spits it out, peeling off his eyepatches. Evidnetly, a blue-footed boobie has scored a direct hit from 100ft.> GODDMANED FLYING RATS...
RE: Positive Nitrogen Balance
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 2:16 pm
by Chickenboy
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
*******HQ, Heron Detachment, Nauru Island, January 26, 1942*******
Digger: <reclining shirtless on a beach chair> Lt., isn't it about time for the mail boat?
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: <also reclining on a beach chair, eyes closed> Good point. <thinking aloud> Every odd month on the 25th. Hmmm...what's the date?
Digger: 26th, I believe, Lt.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: God damnit! We draw duty on this stinking piece of rock and they can't even get the mail boat here on time once every two months. <resumes his previous torpid state...then after about 20 seconds he sits bolt upright> THE RUM RATION!
Digger: Yes sir, we are almost out.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: BUGGER! Raise Rabaul on the shortwave, NOW!
Digger: No can do, sir. The batteries are shot, been that way since the first week of December.
Lt. Avery-Guano, Acting Coy CO: MADRE DE DIOS! Well get what's his name to make some more of the cocconut shell batteries. Do I have to think of everything around here? <he takes a sip of his rum and coke and immediately spits it out, peeling off his eyepatches. Evidnetly, a blue-footed boobie has scored a direct hit from 100ft.> GODDMANED FLYING RATS...
Just curious, Cap: When Lt. Avery's daughter gets married, will she drop the Guano?
RE: Mary, Mother of God!
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:16 pm
by Kwik E Mart
ORIGINAL: Whipple
well, someone quite similar...my maintenance senior chief...used to write witty responses in the Gripe Log, such as:
Pilot Nuggetelli: Transponder inop for entire mission.
Senior Chief: Moved transponder switch to O-N position. Now transponder is four-oh.
Pilot Newbie: Encountered strange sqeaky noise in cockpit in vicinity of co-pilot's seat.
Senior Chief: Applied anti-sqeaky juice in vicinity of co-pilot's seat. No noises encountered.
When a Chief is training an officer; sometimes it's straight forward, sometimes more subtle ways are needed. [;)]
Whipple
so true!