Matrix Games Forums

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In other news, Mandrake Jr. brought home a ferret that someone gave her. The thing stinks but pretends to like people so it is hard to not like back.

As this is a skinny, fur-bearing predator similar to a weasel, I assume this is somehow propitious.

Yes, let's assume that. If it dies let me know.

Uh oh... rumo(u)r has it that Adm. Nelson is sending a Ninja to SoCal to find the ferret...

How long have you been waiting to use that smiley, Bob? [:D]

I am tempted to put the varmint outside and see how well he holds up to the tormentor of Jerry the rabbit.


No turn yet. So I was wearing this ancient, hideous golf shirt to work in the yard and Stalker Gril says:

Where did you get the shirt? <sarcastically>

Hey, I'll have you know I've had several inquiries.

Well, it is slimming. [X(][:@]



"Slimming"? Winning the Future (WTF)? There will be retribution and it will be disproportionate and sudden.

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.

Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.

Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

i'd bet heavily on the bobcat... Mr. Ferret might get in a couple of licks, but he isn't going to drive off a bobcat (imo)

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Oh dude....mustellids and rabbits do not play well together. Mustellids and poultry even worse. I would recommend only a supervised play date with a rabbit of any stripe.

Oh no, he's talking about the bobcat that took out Jerry.

OK. I totally misread that one. You're right. I had it down as a ferret v. rabbit death match. A bobcat is entirely different...

Yeah, I'd put my money on the coyote / bobcat / puma / owl / etc. that did the bunny in earlier too.

Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.

Mr. Ferret might survive an encounter, but as above, i really doubt he would drive off an intruding bobcat... best he could do is to survive until reinforcements (i.e., one of the Mandrake clan) arrive. Serpentine might help in the survival, and since the ferret is kinda snaky, it should come naturally to him.

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Teach him to serpentine. If it worked for Peter Falk, it can work for a ferret.

Mr. Ferret might survive an encounter, but as above, i really doubt he would drive off an intruding bobcat... best he could do is to survive until reinforcements (i.e., one of the Mandrake clan) arrive. Serpentine might help in the survival, and since the ferret is kinda snaky, it should come naturally to him.

"Duck, this is Low Walker. Come in."

"Duck, this is Low Walker. Need Fire Mission."

"Duck, this is Low Walker. Come in. Situation Urgent."

Damn it, where is he?!

[:D]

Three things I learned from old war movies when I was a kid:

1) Always do the serpentine when charging a machine gun bunker. It works every time.

2) If you are out in the open at night and a flare goes up, you should yell "freeze" and then stand really still. The enemy will naturally assume a new, completely defoliated tree, with two trunks and a round top will have grown up to maturity since the last flare.

3) If you ever have to take out a tank but somebody lost the bazooka, you should jump on the tank, knock on the commander's hatch, and then drop a grenade inside when he opens it and says "Ja?"

4) The young blond kid in a squad has as much chance as a redshirt in Star Trek.

[:D]



Redshirt

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(character)

5) The following ethnic archetypes must be represented (not as the same character) in a platoon-sized unit: Italian from New York (usually brooklyn); 'Cowboy'; Surfer dude; Big 'n beefy farmer boy; nice Jewish kid (usually also from New York) and lastly-grizzled campaign veteran (usually as Gunnery sargeant).

6) Blonde's are dangerous krauts. Stick with brunettes.

7) The person throwing the grenade at a tank will invariably get cut down but its bow machinegun....regardless of which side of the tank he happens to be on.

8) Panzerfausts always miss. [:D]

9) The guy pushing the plunger thing for the bridge explosion always gets shot right before he pushes the plunger

A) Plunger doesnt work

B) Single bloody hand reaches up to push with last breath

This all depends on which side you ar on of course

10) There is at least one harmonica player in every stick of paratroopers....and he is pretty good too, using vibrato at the end of long notes...but he always picks some downer tune in a minor key when something like "Oh Susana" or "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again" would help the gloomy mood.


Speaking of rallying from injury to complete one's mission, there is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_JWywDqgRs

**************August 14***************

Operation Drop Kick Me Jesus (Chapter I, verse II): The USN carriers and amphibious group avoid IJN subs and arrive safely off Cooktown. Probably 2 days to Horn Is. now. The B-24 and LB-30 raid over Madang goes well, destroying quite a few Sallys on the ground. This is reassuring that they have no fighters and they aren't Bettys. Port Moresby is also hit well, destroying some Zeroes and support aircraft. There is no CAP at Port Moresby. It looks like the runway is pretty badly dinged up. I flew in some aviation support "volunteers" to Ndeni and will send in a detachment of PBY's to recon Lunga tomorrow. More Japs landed at Kriwina and it fell.

Fiji/New Scotland: Big Allied attack at Nadi today achieves 1:1 and inflicts superior casualties. Another heavy bomber raid over Noumea today encounters no CAP and sinks a Jap sub in port and damamges a few smoldering AK's. Clearly, JJ is not defending Noumea for now. The number of fighters at Tanna has been cut by 60% too. It looks like they are moving stuff back to Rabaul and/or Lunga. Ironically, Jap bombers at Rabaul are actually closer to the planned operations in Northern Oz, but don't tell Lord Admiral Sprior this because I was supposed to be making things better.

OZ: Normanton up to 4.7 airfield. Wyndham now has 20,000 WJD and 75 fighters. [:(] It looks like Derby is their only weak spot.

*************North Coast of Tanna, August 15*****************


A beautiful grey PBY with orange pinstripes bobs in very light surf in an idyllic inlet. Two men climb a shallow hill toward another group of men.

Man in fine linen slacks: Padre, remember, don't offer your right hand in a greeting.

Father Emmanoulides: Why is that Sargeant?

Man in fine linen slacks: Please, call me Milo, Padre. I'm not in the USAAF anymore. I'm dead. Besides, we are friends, right?
Now, as to the right hand, in Tannanese culture, a right hand extended means I ate your wife.

Father Emmanoulides: Oh Dear God! <blushes>

Man in fine linen slacks: No, it's not like that Padre. It means I ate your wife's brain. They are cannibals.

Father Emmanoulides: Oh, Sweet Jesus in Heaven! I can't belive I let you talk me into this.

Man in fine linen slacks: You let me talk you into this Padre because M&M Enterprises is funding the new orphanage at Suva, a new school room, infirmatory, kitchen, you remember, Padre. Just remember extend your LEFT hand when you great them.

Father Emmanoulides: What does THAT mean?

Man in fine linen slacks: What does what mean?

Father Emmanoulides: The left hand?

Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, it just means "hello". <they approach a group of shirtless men in dungarees and homemade aviator's helmets and homemade eyeglass frames. Milo extends his left hand> Greetings Abton. This man Holy Man Emmanoulides.

Father Emmanoulides: <nearly reaches out his right hand then catches himself> Greetings from the US Army. Mr. Roosevelt sends greetings.

Abton: Who Roosevelt?

Man in fine linen slacks: Boss of Ensign McGoo.

Abton: Ah. Ensign McGoo <everyone in Tannanese group looks to sky>

2nd Cargo Cultist with much lighter pigmentation: Hory man say bressing.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Milo, I think he's Japanese.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> He is Padre. A convert I expect.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But aren't we are war with them?

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Not anyomre. This one works for me.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> You are quite an extraordinary man.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Thank you Padre. I like you too. Now the bressing please.

Father Emmanoulides: Very well, let us bow our heads..

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> No Padre. Look up. This God comes by PBY.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> God needs no physical conveyance.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> This one does.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> What should I ask for?

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Spam and pots and pans.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> But those are only possessions. It hardly seem Christian.

Man in fine linen slacks: <whispering> Padre, it's a Cargo Cult.

Father Emmanoulides: <whispering> Oh yes. <now speaking out loud> Now, let us look to the Heavens....to the great PBY in the sky...may it bring us much Spam...and a complete set of Corningware <several of the Tannanese and converts begin to tremble>...and we beseech the, oh great PBY, please bring us Ensign McGoo.........<one of the former Shinto Boys, unaccustomed to such raw emotion, rolls his eyes back in his head and falls backward in relgious ecstasy>