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ORIGINAL: Empire101

Just thought I'd show off my shiny new Avatar....thanks Froonp

Suck on 11 gunpoints Warspite [:D]

warspite1

I invited Empire over to my castle last night for a bit of intellectual sparring. The subject of the debate: which was the better battleship Yamato or HMS Warspite? I think warspite's right hook settled the debate for once and for all.

Unfortunately the evening degenerated after overindulging the drinks cabinet........



We decided boxing was for girls, and that the only way an argument could be properly decided, was the tried and trusted route of 'Trial By Combat'.
( We used a couple of old suits of armour in the Grand Hall.... )

The most fair and just way ever invented to settle an old score...I mean argument.

I regret to say that the consumption of the entire contents of the drinks cabinet led to matters getting totally out of hand thereafter.... [:(]

Empire, stung by Yamato being proved to have been an inferior vessel, stormed out of the castle in a state of high dudgeon. He returned, 3 hours later having raised a private army from the ranks of the peasants on his estate. He then laid siege to my castle, a siege that Empire only lifted many hours later when he remembered he had left his cigarettes at home.

After several minutes of rushing back to my own estates to pick up two packets of cigarettes ( I was thinking of taking 3 packs, but reasoned if the siege went on that long, I'd just get bored and leave anyway ).

I then rode with all haste back to Warspite's castle with my handpicked army of peasants, ne'er do wells, football supporters, the local pub's regulars, a load of bankers and the mad drunk bloke who lives in the village that everyone avoids, and calls every passerby a c**t outside the 'Rose & Crown' ( yes, yes, a formidable Army of ruffians), and proceeded to continue the siege, at least until the Sunday Matinee started on Sky.



Unfortunately things got out of hand, and then the peasants started fighting the ne'er do wells ( over inappropriate land acquisition dealings ) , the football supporters went on a rampage and burnt down a nunnery, the regulars passed out after drinking all of Warspites excellent brandy, the mad drunk soiled himself and started screaming abuse at the women in a Scottish accent, and the bankers ruined it all for everyone.

In all the turmoil I'm afraid Warspites castle is a little worse for wear, after 17 minutes of uncontrolled mob violence........




Oh well....'ces't la guerre' as they say in Norway.[:(]

ORIGINAL: Empire101

After several minutes of rushing back to my own estates to pick up two packets of cigarettes ( I was thinking of taking 3 packs, but reasoned if the siege went on that long, I'd just get bored and leave anyway ).

I then rode with all haste back to Warspite's castle with my handpicked army of peasants, ne'er do wells, football supporters, the local pub's regulars, a load of bankers and the mad drunk bloke who lives in the village that everyone avoids, and calls everyone a c**t outside the 'Rose & Crown' ( yes, yes, a formidable Army of ruffians), and proceed to continue the siege, at least until the Sunday Matinee started on Sky.



Unfortunately things got out of hand, and then the peasants started fighting the ne'er do wells, the football supporters went on a rampage and burnt down a nunnery, the regulars passed out after drinking all of Warspites excellent brandy, the mad drunk soiled himself and started screaming abuse at the women in a Scottish accent, and the bankers ruined it all for everyone.

In all the turmoil I'm afraid Warspites castle is a little worse for wear, after 17 minutes of uncontrolled mob violence........




Oh well....'ces't la guerre' as they say in Norway.[:(]

warspite1

Knowing me ol' chum Empire as I do, I knew that we just needed to hold on until the Sunday Matinee (there is no way Empire would miss the Steel Magnolias / Terms of Endearment double bill).

But sadly my regular peasants were not equal to the task and the castle was stormed. I had to call upon my own personal guards battalion to finally evict Empire's rabble. 20 of my crack troops, masters of camoflage, who had been pretending to be a rose bush (I have no idea why) waded in and, ignoring the really tough looking guys, pummelled the mad drunk bloke fists-a-flying.

Eventually to the rallying call of Empire: "Hurry up chaps - or we'll miss the start of the film!" the enemy retreated. But my castle is a mess, the cleaning bill is going to be horrendous and worst of all - Arsenal won today [&:]

.....

ORIGINAL: warspite1

Curse you Empire [:@]

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: warspite1

Curse you Empire [:@]

And so, after much soul searching, Empire admitted that Yamato's counter was indeed not as blue as Warspite's, and promised to clear up the cigarette ends left on the periphery of his estate.

After Empire's return from Devil's Island, Warspite, Empire, and Gene Wilder got together and drunk what was left of Warspite's excellent brandy cellar......and there was much rejoicing.

Here is a picture of the reunion.... ( I am standing in the middle ).

ORIGINAL: Empire101

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: warspite1

Curse you Empire [:@]

And so, after much soul searching, Empire admitted that Yamato's counter was indeed not as blue as Warspite's, and promised to clear up the cigarette ends left on the periphery of his estate.

warspite1

Why don't you admit the truth Empire? Soul searching my a**e, you did not admit that Yamato's counter was less blue than Warspite's until after you had insisted on consulting the magic mirror first:

Empire was like - "Mirror Mirror on the wall, Who has the bluest counter of them all?"
And the Magic Mirror was all - "Get lost maggot! Everybody knows warspite's got the bluest counter an' that"
And Empire was like "Yeah well Warspite1 is a batty boy an' I ain't even lying"
And the Magic Mirror was well vexed and said "You can't say that cos that's against his human rights an' S**t - sayin' that, that's like abuse and he could get compensation an' stuff".

I was so angry with Empire's behaviour I, kicked him out of the ruins of my castle, took my Viking hat off and repaired to bed...or at least I would have if I still had an upstairs to repair too.

After the fiery end to the evening, Warspite surveyed what was left of his once sumptuous living quarters.





After several minutes, he went back down, grabbed the mirror and sent it first class post to Mr. T. Blair, c/o The Whitehouse, Washington DC, with a covering note that said 'Here is your mirror back, you useless piece of **expletive deleted**'.

With a heightened sense of anticipation that MWIF is in sight of its release (hopefully...please...) warspite1, Empire101 and Orm get into costume and make plans for their first campaign. Note: warspite has been on a crash diet so that he can fit into Goering's uniform, Empire is wearing his 1970's platforms so that he appears taller than everyone else, and Orm? Well he's just happiest when holding his weapon.



Note: Because warspite's castle is currently undergoing renovation, Orm and I were invited to Empire's place. We set the maps out on a large table beside the body of water that laps the shore of Empire's vast estate - Its called the Irish Sea - or Mare Nostrum as Empire likes to call it.

Eager to get on with the campaign I invite warspite1 and Empire101 to inspect my personal guard.

After inspecting Orms Personal Guard, we all got down to the serious business of playing WiF in the Great Hall, whilst helping ourselves liberally to the well stocked drinks cabinet.......


Unfortunately the role playing got out of hand, and the evening degenerated into impersonating World Leaders 1939-45.

Here is a wonderful picture of myself as Hitler being congratulated after I played the Horst Wessel on the spoons, with Orm doing a magical turn as Grand Admiral Raedar dancing to selected Frank Sinatra tracks, whilst Warspite's reprise as the captivativing Goring, sang several of Elvis Presleys greatest hits.



The game was quite forgotten, but it surely was....'A Night To Remember'

The next morning we woke up in Vladivostock..........

ORIGINAL: Orm

Eager to get on with the campaign I invite warspite1 and Empire101 to inspect my personal guard.

warspite1

The impressive thing was that this is actually shot in Orm's loft [X(]

ORIGINAL: Empire101

The next morning we woke up in Vladivostock..........

Warspite1

How did we get there again? Last thing I remember was hailing a taxi and, in my inebriated state, specifically telling the driver "I can't remember where I live, but if we end up on the Russian Pacific coast, you must have taken a wrong turning". Good job I was carrying lots of spare change....

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: Orm

Eager to get on with the campaign I invite warspite1 and Empire101 to inspect my personal guard.

warspite1

The impressive thing was that this is actually shot in Orm's loft [X(]

No, no. In the attic that is located in my loft. Small but important difference.

ORIGINAL: Orm

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: Orm

Eager to get on with the campaign I invite warspite1 and Empire101 to inspect my personal guard.

warspite1

The impressive thing was that this is actually shot in Orm's loft [X(]

No, no. In the attic that is located in my loft. Small but important difference.

warspite1

Sorry mate - what's the difference? Is it a Swedish thing?

ORIGINAL: warspite1

ORIGINAL: Orm

ORIGINAL: warspite1


warspite1

The impressive thing was that this is actually shot in Orm's loft [X(]

No, no. In the attic that is located in my loft. Small but important difference.

warspite1

Sorry mate - what's the difference? Is it a Swedish thing?

I thought 'difference' was a english word and not a Swedish thing.[&:]

ORIGINAL: Empire101

After inspecting Orms Personal Guard, we all got down to the serious business of playing WiF in the Great Hall, whilst helping ourselves liberally to the well stocked drinks cabinet.......


Unfortunately the role playing got out of hand, and the evening degenerated into impersonating World Leaders 1939-45.

Here is a wonderful picture of myself as Hitler being congratulated after I played the Horst Wessel on the spoons, with Orm doing a magical turn as Grand Admiral Raedar dancing to selected Frank Sinatra tracks, whilst Warspite's reprise as the captivativing Goring, sang several of Elvis Presleys greatest hits.



The game was quite forgotten, but it surely was....'A Night To Remember'

warspite1

I think I could be on Stars in your Eyes:

Ve're caught in ze trap,
I can't vork out,
Because Ich love you sehr mooch baby

Vhy can't you zee,
Vot you're doing to mir
Ven you don't belief a verd I zay?

Ve can't go on togezzer
Viz Zuspicious Mindts (zuspicious mindts)
Und ve can't built our dreamz
On zuspicious mindts

Zank you, Zank you - I'm here all veek, try ze veal.....