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and other gems...

Military Truisms

• Aim towards the Enemy --instruction printed on US rocket launcher.
• Cluster bombing is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
• Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• If your attack is going too well, you are walking into an ambush.
• If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
• Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Tracers work both ways.
• Friendly fire isn't.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
• The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• Clothing stores have only two sizes: too large and too small.
• If you can see the enemy, he can see you.
• And never tell your Boss you have nothing to do.

Some good natured anti grunt stuff...

-Why walk when you can drive?
-Role of the Infantry...to catch artillery rounds.

[:D][:D][:D]

Anyone remember any from their service?

The 5 most dangerous things in the navy are....

A Seaman saying, "I learned this in Boot Camp..."
A Petty Officer saying, "Trust me, sir..."
A Lieutenant JG saying, "Based on my experience..."
A Lieutenant saying, "I was just thinking..."
A Chief chuckling, "Watch this s***..."

[:D][:D][:D]

N - Never
A - Again
V - Volunteer
Y - Yourself

[:D][:D]

The Marines are looking for a FEW good men....and their still looking.[:D][:D]


U.S.Navy 1976 -1983 as an Electronics Technician

This made me chuckle the other day at work. The definition of RAF ranks [:D][:D][:D]

AN AIR OFFICER.

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water, gives policy to GOD.

A Group Captain
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a bulldozer,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm,

A WING COMMANDER.

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer,
Is faster than a speeding .22 slug,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

A SQUADRON LEADER.

Barely clears Nissen Huts,
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

A FLIGHT LIEUTENANT.

Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap short buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Dog paddles,
Talks to animals.

A FLYING OFFICER.

Runs into buildings,
Recognises a locomotive two out of three times,
Has a gun but is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat with proper instruction,
Talks to walls.

A PILOT OFFICER.

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says “Look at the Choo Choo”,
Is not issued with a gun,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.

A NON COMMISSIONED OFFICER.

Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets between teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD.

AN AIRMAN.

Sweeps under buildings,
Puts locomotive back on track,
Picks up spent cartridges after speeding bullets have been fired,
Carries the water to be frozen,
He is the Son of GOD.

Some of this stuff is ageless!

ORIGINAL: Ron Saueracker

and other gems...

Military Truisms

• Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.

Hey thats my line [:'(]

the 7'P's

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

ohh, and never get involved in a land war in Asia.

ORIGINAL: Graycompany

ohh, and never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Sun Tzu, right? [;)]

ORIGINAL: Dixie
This made me chuckle the other day at work. The definition of RAF ranks [:D][:D][:D]

Hey....you Brits stole that from us! [:-]

Very good Dixie. [:D]

Seems like I've seena US version before.

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

N - Never
A - Again
V - Volunteer
Y - Yourself

[:D][:D]

The Marines are looking for a FEW good men....and their still looking.[:D][:D]


U.S.Navy 1976 -1983 as an Electronics Technician

Uncle
Sam's
Misguided
Children

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

A good one from days way before mine....

Stupid
Troopers
Running
Around
[in]
Circles

If it crunches, its infantry. If it shoots back its a tank. (I think I may have forgotten a line...oh well)

And my personal favorite....

If you aint Cav...you aint s***!

ORIGINAL: niceguy2005

Very good Dixie. [:D]

Seems like I've seena US version before.

Yeah, there was a US version. I forget how it went but there was one part about how 2nd Lts can hurt themselves with a water pistol and how a SSgt's farts shake the heavens.

Never piss from the pointy end while underweigh...

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots... but there are no old, bold pilots.

This plane has more downing gripes than the USS Arizona...

A good landing is any you walk away from.

If altitude and airspeed = 0, you've either landed or crashed. Sometimes its hard to tell the difference.

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good crap. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.

Things which do you no good in aviation:
Altitude above you.
Runway behind you.
Fuel in the truck.
A navigator.
Half a second ago.
Approach plates in the car.
The airspeed you don't have.

It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.

Chez

Come to think of it, I always thought the saying in the title was "If it moves salute it....

"If there is to much coincidence. there probley is" Something to live by tactically in the field.[8|]