Matrix Games Forums

Apr 4/02
Would some of you be so kind as to explain to the newcomers that it's my job to take Their Heads and not vice versa.
Not only does Karacan get a Mugger to my Crumbler he headshots me to death. Newcomers are supposed to die not win. Come on guys, is a little sympathy too much to ask? Dam....I Hate it when people treat me with the respect that I deserve:(
Ok, Ok you can stop giggling now :p
On a lighter note the Tag-Team of Hetzer and Peztor defeated their Archrivals Karacan and Peter Y for the tag team championship of ToS in the Middleweight division. Hetzer's Gravedigger and Peztor's Hitman proved too much for Peter Y's Wolfpack and Exhuminator and Karacan's Lehr Magnus.
Current standings in this latest round of king of the hill are as follows
Peztor 1 win, 0 losses
Karacan 1 win, 1 loss
Hetzer 1 win, 1 loss
Peter Y 0 wins, 1 loss
Stay tuned for the next exciting edition of "As the Titan Turns"

We very nearly got the hitman due to three fiendishly clever plotted engine explosions (but unfortunately, two of them didn't blow).

Anyway, I was asked by an not-to-be-unveiled source that Hetzer is a really nice guy in reality.

Is this a post-victory announcement? Mummy, they were too big for me.

In general the rules of posting are very simple.
Winner has to post (it's a pain in the butt).
Don't brag to much as the wheel is going to turn.
Naragon used to use a system weighted for whoever happened to be playing a lot of netgames at the time to create player rankings. I unfortunately never really figured out how his system worked so unless anyone has any major objections I'm going to use the percentage system that american professional sports teams use. You divide the number of games you play into the number of wins that you have to find your won/lost record as a winning percentage. 6 wins divided by a total of 10 games will give you a 60% winning percentage. If you have played 57 netgames and won 32 your record will be .5614.
I started posting yesterday because it seemed like we had enough players again to make it worthwhile and it adds a little competitive edge:p
For the people who I have listed you have all played more games than this, if you want to add all of the games that you can remember us playing I will be happy to do that.
As for the rest of you layabouts......if you would like I will try and reconstruct the old standings.

I say brag all you want. Gloat, gloat, gloat because soon enough you will be eating crow and your opponent will be gloating over your pathetic loss. Enjoy your victories. Downplay your losses.

Its always fun to read about battles. As someone that has lost as many battles as I've won, I can relate to both sides.

Well well.

My Mugger with Bernd's Ancient Mariner B where no match-up for Hetzer's Grim Reaper and Pete's Baalzebub.

The battle wasn't fair from the beginning, and any bragging about it would pale compared to what was seen on the battlefield.

Karacan: 2 wins, 1 loss.
Hetzer: 1 win, 2 losses.
Bernd: 1 win, 0 losses.
Peztor: 1 win, 0 losses.
Peter Y: 0 wins, 2 losses.

By the way, I suggest 0.5 wins awarded to those who are annihilated during combat, but who win the match nevertheless (due to helpful allies, should such a thing ever exist).

Neither were Karacans behemoth and the AIs Immolator a match for my Pillager and Bernd's Crumbler but Karacan did explode very nicely indeed :p

Bernd 2 wins/0 losses 1.0000
Peztor 1 wins/o losses 1.0000
Karacan 2 wins/2 losses .5000
Hetzer 2 wins/2 losses .5000
Pete Y 0 wins/2 losses .0000
AI 0 wins/1 losses .0000


Please ignore Rosary's comments as We are gentlemen and would never stoop to such an approach

let it be known that when Hetz uses a term like 'We gentlemen', He probably does not include his own bad self.

My AI companion (driving a Gargantua) and myself (in a Warlord) were strolling peacefully through a wooded hillside when the siren song of a a Beguiler entranced my AI into a mad dash towards doom
Being a calm, rational and level headed sort of fellow myself I was unaffected (quietly removes wax from ears) and followed rather more cautiously into the fray. This lead to a period faintly resembling a game of ring around the rosey until a Thug (Peter Y) crested the hill to be followed Peztor's Beguiler. Being the quick and decisive thinker that you all know me to be I leapt quickly up into the air and then dropped down hard so as to make me more undetectable in the woods (ok, ok so I fell)......(damit). Quickly gaining my feet i turned to jump off of the wooded hillside again only to be met with withering fire on my flank from Peztor and Peter Y. You would think that members of two such aged and civilized cultures would not be capable of backshooting a poor defenseless old man (sigh......). Having worked up a slight thirst from these exertions I spied a small lake and thought that a quick dip in the water might revive me. About this time my AI partner decided to show up and rescue me from the vile and viscious bites that P & P's weapons were taking from my tushy (is nothing sacred?). My AI's Gargantua wilted under the withering fire the evil europeans (plea for sympathy......oh......wait.......most of you are european.........uh..........nevermind) and what had at first seemed to be a rescue by the calvary soon resembled the charge of the light brigade.
Undaunted and stoic I watched my partner's demise (well.....allright, so maybe I whimpered a little) and turned (and fell) (and fell) (and fell) (and fell) to face the onslaught.
Peztor exhibiting the spanish soul in it's most pure (he wanted to stick the knife in up close and personal) charged down off of the hill into some woods in his eagerness to close giving me some time to deal with his partner. Shots were exchanged until Peztor charged headlong some woods a mere 2 hexes from myself and allowed me to remove his right leg with a carefully chosen CLG shot (blows on knuckles and rubs them on lapel). With my renegade spaniard inspecting the grass for I know not what I turned my attention back to the english ruffian who had finally decided to leave the safety of his wooded hillside to close with me. Under the combined fire of 2 titans I somehow managed to get Peter Y's CT red and with 2 called Gauss shots blew out his CT. After a few more rounds were exchanged, CLG and Gauss shots to the head killed Peter Y while leaving his titan's head still attached (see guys, I've been practicing <evil grin>). Now it was time to finish off that nagging spaniard (sound of hands being rubbed together in anticipation).
2 Seconds! 2! $%#& Seconds. TWO............SECONDS....... (sound of feet and fists being pounded on floor) uh.......sorry about that.........where was I (quietly wipes foam from mouth)? Oh yes.......did I metion that I was 2 secsonds away from running out of the water (and Peztor's arc of fire) when that Esteemed Gentleman (shortly about to suffer a tragic accident, such a pity......) blew my lowerT up to my adams apple with a PB.
And so the game ended with Peztor nose down in the grass communing with ants and worms while I floated gently on my back quietly blowing bubbles while we wagered on whose recovery team would get there first.
No losers in this game only winners for the closest game of ToS I've been priveleged to play in months. Gentlemen, Truly, that was a pleasure

Well, the good news is that I was finally able to get Rosary to stoop to playing a game of 1.4. The bad news is that he played it with me
I even got one of my own designs a MindFlayer (3NBs,6SRM2s,ML) vs his Grim ReaperB(BRG,NB,2PLs,2AC7s) and was all set to hose what was left of him out of the cockpit after my NBs had pureed him.
I Wasn't Supposed to Die........He Was Supposed to Die.
Rosary, my friend, I know that you're overworked, tired and confused by changing systems like this but still, I shouldn't have to remind you again that "It's Only Fair When I Do It To You" (stern look exacerbated by the distant sound of someone giggling in Danish).

Originally posted by Hetz
(stern look exacerbated by the distant sound of someone giggling in Danish).

Remember Hetz; 'Trying is the First step towards failure.' Homer Simpson.

I know, it's been a very long time since I played. Me and Hetz have been talking about a game for a while, but it's hard to play when you aren't supposed to play games (**** grades), so we decided to play after this grading period (at which point i should have my grades up enough to play), but i got a chance today. my dad's somewhere between here and somewhere else *g*.
Anyways, so we did a team battle, me and karacan vs Hetz and the AI. i had a lucky start, and hetz was kind enough to grant me a Mugger, while Karacan decided to ride a... arg, can't remember. Whatever it was it had a pair of PGs and a pair of AC20s. Anyways, the AI got some god-awful design with a load of energy weps, and Hetz got a BrainBender. The setting was Hell, which made heat an issue.
The early game was boring, Kar got a semi-early lock on Hetz and started warming him up, while I locked onto the AI and tried unsuccesfully about 20 times to scan it with a 2% chance of success (ugh), and after a while we were close enough to let everything fly. I can't remember much (afterwards I expended some brain power playin StarCraft: Brood War, and I need some food), but I do remember being hit twice by a TB, haveing one TB absorbed by my shield, having severe heat difficultys, lots of AC20's flying around nailing heads/arms/torsos, and the AI deciding that it was time to take a walk in the lava. When me and Kar wouldn't let Hetz break the AI's move he ejected, b/c he was screwed. 'course, I was still in heat trouble, and the AI managed to get out of the lava and take me down... we wrestled for a while, until the Kavalry showed up and hammered him. AI ejects, I stand up and destroy CT and head. ****** just missed him.
Chalk another win up to Firestorm. *g*

Did manage to Beat Karacan and AI in a team game of Heavies and Rosary and I continued our tradition of trading games so this one went to me. On the other hand all that means is that he'll win the next one

Wait a minute. I just remembered.........I'm Canadian (also i'm in no mood to crunch numbers) Wins count 2 points Draws 1 point
Ah much better. Each point count as 1000 experience in the game.

Bernd 2 wins 0 draws 0 losses 4 points Rookie
Firestorm 1 wins 0 draws 0 losses 2 points Rookie
Peztor 1 wins 1 draws 0 losses 3 points Rookie
Hetzer 4 wins 1 draws 4 losses 9 points Green
Karacan 3 wins 0 draws 3 losses 6 points Green
Rosary 1 wins 0 draws 1 losses 2 points Rookie
Peter Y 0 wins 1 draws 2 losses 1 points Rookie

This way you will be able to tell at a glance who the experienced/dangerous players are.

As usual, if anyone complains about this system they get to replace it (and me) :p

Well Rosary and I are continuing to maintain our fine and disreputable tradition of beating the snot out of each other

Yesterday (and today) my Goon ate his Banshee so of course in todays game what do I wind up driving? Uh Huh......and to make matters worse I had Rosary's Blue Dragon in a much more colorful condition before he blew out my CT and blew up my Banshee proving yet again that turnabout is foul play.

Would post more but am doggerel tired from war of words post :p

The funny thing about that last battle with Hetzer is that at the beginning of the match I told him I Had one of his Mugger designs (3 AC20's). I didn't. I had a Blue Dragon. But he didn't know that . . .yet.
It pays to lie to Hetzer.
Anyways, after his CT became red, I started sending him messages about how I was going to call shots to his CT. His reply was something like:
You Bleepin Bleeper, Don't Bleepin Bleep my Bleeping CT!! Target your own Bleepin Bleep of a Bleepin' CT!

At least thats how I remember it. If you know what I bleepin mean.

Actually I found a translation for bleeper in my dictionary, but i doubt it'll be the right meaning.
Anyway, we probably don't need to know new curses.

On the other hand, I don't see extreme differences between a Mugger and a Blue Dragon. They are both short range titans and are both able to do a lot of damage.
But maybe the Mugger reminds Hetzer of some bad incidents...

Rosary, your time is gonna come (in about 3 hours actually) so please make your peace with your Creator (personally I'd ask for my money back due to shoddy workmanship) :p

Azzzzzzzzzz For You Herr Bernd (best bad transylvanian agzent)
I remember a promize about you beink on ze net lazt veekent and zaw neizer hide nor hare (sorry Peter Y) of you. I haff been bizzy dezinenk new und more powerful Tosses of Destruction and vould luff to havvvv you take vone out for a (lazt) ride

(isn't it a good thing that I'm basically a shy and modest person because otherwise posts like the ones I'm replying to might cause me to say things that they could make me regret (oh.....wait.........uhh............Guys.........you know I didn't mean anything by this............don't you?.......anyway, I was just funning around.....Rosary!...put down that scalpel.....Bernd.....chainsaws are gauche.....come on.......can't we talk this out like gentlemen?).

................................(long pause while our gentle readership tries to wrap their minds around the concept of Bernd and Rosary as gentlemen)...................

To be continued (I hope)...............

I drove an Exhuminator. Did anyone noticed this titan needs at least another 1.5V battery? EMC, shield, jump ports...
Pete drove a Ghost with the "enemy below minimum range" alarm off. He remembered it only when his shots didn't find the target. Too late.
We searched each other in a hilly terrain. After some fast glances we suddenly faced two hexes away. Not a good target for my lrms nor Pete's plasma gun. But my shield proved to be useful and fortune shined to my missiles, so when Pete was trying to move away, his leg blew up. I took out myself from his arc of fire and the fight was over.
Who's the next?