Matrix Games Forums

Tired of falling asleep when you really want to stay up late and finish that Mega Campaign battle?

Can't keep your eyes open while waiting for the AI to finish its turn?

Then you'll love the new SPWAW 2002 Dedicated Computer from Matrix! (picture below)



1.4ghz processor!
128mb video card!
SPWAW-Blaster 200w Sound Card with subwoofer!
12 cup cafespittenwurfer!
(Optional cappuccino maker for Italian campaigns at additional cost)

(Use of decafe is not recommended and may void your warranty)

Nah, it doesn't have chocalate donettes or Diet Coke, does it? That's what an army fights on.

Bing

TRUE warriors drink only Panzer Grease. It's done as follows:

1. Put on your cafe machine. (NO decafe)

2. Play 2-3 battles from campaing.

3. Remember that you left your cafe maker on.

4. Try to get brown stuff out of the pot. (Spoon is usefull)

5. Eat your Pazer Grease with Fork.

Enjoy!

And I just wasted my money on a new comp! I coulda played in style! Do they make it with an optional Sturmcaffeinekanone?

Goblin:eek:

Originally posted by Goblin
And I just wasted my money on a new comp! I coulda played in style! Do they make it with an optional Sturmcaffeinekanone?

Goblin:eek:

I hear that's being saved for the CL model. Should be a good one too... Comes in 5 different camo patterns and has a genuine miniture Tiger exhaust for foaming milk.

Originally posted by Bing
Nah, it doesn't have chocalate donettes or Diet Coke, does it? That's what an army fights on.

Bing

Sure it does Bing! See up there where it says DVD? That stands for DonutVortDispensen! It's a mini donut mortar with it's own key on the keyboard. Hit the key and the tray pops out and flips one at your mouth. As for the Diet Coke model, they're still working on that one...the stuff keeps eating through the cases. Last I heard they were going to try 200mm armor plate at a 30 degree slope for it.

Exactly the right machine for me!

__________
Harry

I heard this causes lag during internet play, perhaps the Decaf model will improve performance?

Ok Bernie - I have been holding off till now. But its offical - you are Nuts!

A donette mortar!! That puts the inventor on a level with Henry Ford an Thomas Edison, far as I am concerned.

Now, maybe you can load the machine on a ship take it over to the Middle East and stop the war, per Henry's sadly misguided attempt to prevent war in Europe in the late 1930's. He just didn't get it, did he?

This will not appeal to the Israelis because after all it is not Murray Lenders Bagels, but the effect on the terrorists could be far reaching.

If you can come up with a bagel mortar, I am certain the war would stop immediately.

Bing

Originally posted by Bing
If you can come up with a bagel mortar, I am certain the war would stop immediately.

Bing

I'm not quite sure that would be kosher...

(Bing, you really can't give me these great straight-lines and not expect humorous replies. )

I am not talking about a Kosher dill pickle howitzer, I am talking about a Murray Lender Bagel mortar. Loaded with Phillie Cream Cheese, natch, as a payload.

If you really want to be deadly, you can arm the troops with David Berg sausage - they really ARE kosher, not "let's pretend" the way some products are. I mean - kosher Diet Rite? Come now. (Not to laugh - kosher Diet Rite does exist.)

Bing

Will those computer cases be available with Explosive Reactive Armour?

Originally posted by Svennemir
Will those computer cases be available with Explosive Reactive Armour?

Yes indeed! That will be an option on the CL case due out soon. Guaranteed to deflect Ipods without damage.

.....guess I'll need more thermal grease.....