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Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 3:06 am
by Raverdave
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 3:35 am
by ilovestrategy
That was hilarious!!!!!! My wife thinks I'm nuts for laughing! [:D]
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 3:36 am
by CaptBeefheart
Hayzoos Cristo that is finny. Thanks for the hearty chuckles.
Cheers,
CC
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 4:21 am
by castor troy
Oh what a terrible experience it must be to be an actor.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 6:06 am
by LoBaron
"...described the experience as a never-ending stretch of misery that seemed like something from a bad movie."
Ok I am really thankfull I did not drink anything while reading that.
Accurately describes my personal experience watching this motion picture from hell. [:D]
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 8:05 am
by warspite1
[:D] that made me chuckle - as opposed to the film that shall not be named, which made me simply want to chuck.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 8:20 am
by Smeulders
The Onion is too modest, they are the World's finest new source.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 11:18 am
by jeffs
Well...If you cut out all the romance scenes it was acceptable.....My thumb was rather heavy on the fast forward button
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 11:35 am
by LoBaron
Huh? Acceptable in terms of what?
Are you referring to the P40 dogfighting Zeroes part or their funny understanding
of pilot transfer policy (US -> GB, shotdown, Hawaii)? [:D]
The cook going rambo on the AAA was truly funny though.
Damn I have to get those pictures out of my head again. Make me unsee it. Please.

RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 11:43 am
by Grollub
I know the feeling. [:'(]

RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 2:11 pm
by Nikademus
Priceless.............
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 2:38 pm
by John 3rd
Made me laugh bunches!
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 2:42 pm
by HexHead
Scene 5
"I'm ordering you to join the famed Eagle Squadron in the RAF."
"Uuh,...aren't we at peace, sir? Plus, I don't think you can order me to volunteer to join the armed forces of a foreign power."
"Now, dammit!"
Scene 14
"Woo hoo! Something came up! I'm going back to the States!"
"Not bloody likely, Yank. You have an obligation to H. M. the King."
"Screw that. I'm in Actor's Equity."
Scene 77
"Hey, thanks for the marvelous derring-do and showing those squinty eyed Jap wannabes what the P-40 is all about! Now, I'm gonna take highly trained fighter pilots with the reflexes of a cat and the aggressiveness of a panther and make them drive B-25 bombers so that they can bail out over China and waste 15,000 man hours of honing razor sharp killing machines just as we need front line pilots in the worst way."
"Hey, Jimmy, no wonder you're a household word!"
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 4:13 pm
by Kwik E Mart
"Hartnett then fell to his knees, started sobbing, and screamed "Why?" after the sight of a hangar reminded him of the calculated and brutal inhumanity of Pearl Harbor's insipid love triangle."
are these the same writers as the Colbert Report? [:D]
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 4:42 pm
by tocaff
That's what I want to know, why? Why and how could they ever make such a horrible movie like that?
I'll bet he cried all the way to the bank.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 4:59 pm
by HexHead
PH2: The Sequel - Beatdown at Midway
As the film opens, we see Ben Allaffect continuing his wartime love affair with a smokin' hot Kate Gotitall, while desperately trying to figure out how to smite the Kido Butai, which is steaming to sucker punch the US Navy's few carriers in a perfidious ambush that could only be dreamt up by that wily Yamamoto (played by Toshiro Mifune, who may or may not still be with us, but who, nonetheless, in any condition, is a better actor than anyone else cast).
Directed by Kurosawa, who, even in the next world, is a better director than, well, practically anyone.
In the climactic scene, Ben drops fifteen torpedoes againt the IJN's carrier force, while jinking his B-29 at wavetop level. His new sidekick, Keeno Sleeves, covers him with an F-86 Sabrejet, but, alas, is splashed by an FW-190 piloted by Curt Jurgens.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 8:08 pm
by jcjordan
ORIGINAL: LoBaron
Huh? Acceptable in terms of what?
Are you referring to the P40 dogfighting Zeroes part or their funny understanding
of pilot transfer policy (US -> GB, shotdown, Hawaii)? [:D]
The cook going rambo on the AAA was truly funny though.
Damn I have to get those pictures out of my head again. Make me unsee it. Please.
Actually there was a ships cook who did do this just like the scene in Tora Tora Tora & IIRC he did get a medal for it.
Hex - there's actual history to that - there were a few B-26's that did torpedo runs on the carriers, there was a naval version of the F86 called the FJ Fury & I think the FW190 was actually a ME109 or the Jap equivalent of it Tony.
Sorry I just couldn't resist the urge to refute ya'lls complaints about the film that actually is based on a true story

RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 8:32 pm
by Braedonnal
Doris 'Dorie' Miller, received the Navy Cross for his actions aboard USS West Virginia.
http://www.americainwwii.com/stories/cookwhofought.html
Goes to prove that even a steaming pile of crap movie sometimes gets something mostly right.[:D]
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 9:16 pm
by The Gnome
Only Kitler would find anything redeeming in That Which Shall Not Be Named
The Onion is generally worth at least 1 side splitting laugh a week.
RE: Return to the film that shall not be named.
Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 12:04 am
by HexHead
I think the FW190 was actually a ME109
What?
Uuuhh...no. No. A different design.
And, uh, it's just a parody. If I say so myself, not bad for spur of the moment.