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That's right. Many moons ago I started an AAR, and then my lap-top died. Then I got a new rig, and Legends came out. And now, college is out for the winter so i've got nothing but time! On top of that, this will be far, far more instructive (insofar as I am capable of being instructive... [:D] ) than my fleet posture thread. Let's do this.

The settings will be thus: Medium-sized irregular galaxy (the idea being that it will represent but one small cluster in the vast expanse that is our 100-billion-star+ galaxy) with 1000 Stars (for a very crowded space with effective borders) and everything enabled (even the story-lines, just to ensure that victory is not guaranteed for me, as the RotS story-line is very hard for me). Victory conditions will be 100% Territory/50% Economy/50% Population/Racial Victory Conditions Enabled with a 75% threshold. So, to win, you need 75% of all that, the idea being that it will take a long time to reach 75%, but you can give yourself a pretty significant boost by following your racial victory conditions. In this particular case, the bias falls towards Gizureans, Securans, and Quameno (the races that always seem to dominate in my games), but I will be playing with 8 Random Empires (galaxy age: young) set to Hard (too scared of Very Hard, but i've played enough on Hard to be comfortable with it).

For those who don't know what Poland Into Space! means.. well.. just google it. Any EU3 players will get it. [8D] The fluff begins next post! Expect furious updates for a couple days in a row, then a lull, then more updates, ect. I'm a sporadic person. Likely we'll begin focussing on smaller stuff, moving on to longer periods of time and bigger geo-political events as the game gets more mature. Anyhoo, stay tuned! First update should be within a couple hours.

To steal an image of King Poland-ball from an AAR by a much funnier dude than me (and this AAR may not be all funny, people!) on the Paradox forums...

Oh! Here is a link to the EU3 AAR that started it all! This man is a hero of mine. Truly.
http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/sho ... ndball-AAR!

[center][/center]

This little fellow wants to be your leader.

Regards Nedrear

Indeed! His futuristic appearance certainly does show how far the Polish people have become!

This update will be short, but thorough. Most of the AAR won't have this kind of niggling detail, but the opening moves of a game are very important and worth a whole post. Also worth keeping in mind is that the max resolution for my TV/Monitor is pretty low, and I'm cropping these photos with Paint. So i'll do my best to make everything as visible and clear as possibly, but some pictures might seem cut off at funny places, just because paint won't let you crop, then scroll down, then extend the crop.

Prologue: Opening Moves

So, the first thing you might ask yourself is.. how the heck did Poland wind up on some remote planet in the who-knows-where part of the galaxy.... if it's even the same galaxy!? We may never know the answer to this, but my personal opinion is that a small portion of the polish people (probably the ones that were the best military minds...) perfected travel through time and space (think: T.A.R.D.I.S.) in order to escape the coming onslaught from the Nazis.

Is this true? Probably not. Bottom line, though, is that there is a planet out there somewhere full of Pollacks, and if you try to tell a good Pollack joke they'll probably throw you in the dungeon for it! These are not nice Poles. Whether through divergent evolution, or perhaps just a good extra-dimensional sense of how much it sucks to have your country sliced and diced and reborn over and over again, these guys are not your Uncle Adolf's Pollacks.

Here's our victory conditions: This will be an uphill battle. For me, at least. Most of my ships will be AI-Designed, and most of my research will be done by the AI. I try to queue most of it up myself, but I tend to forget and the AI invariably picks some strange stuff.



A more detailed view. Hopefully you see why I like these conditions: While it will be a long game, racials go a LONG way. Worth noting that the Polish Empire has a policy of enslavement when it comes to potential non-humanoid alien life.. this will make following the racial conditions a bit of a paradox, once I begin offending people.




The planet of Ubtrixa, alone in a vast sea of unknown emptiness! For all we know, there are space-Nazies and space-Commies out there, just waiting to draw up the Kweepi Woppit-Ribbentrov pact...



I started with two intelligence agents, one of whom looks like he might be viable as a permanent counter-intel guy. Also, a pretty average leader--so far.





The first order of business, as always, is to build your first ships! I find a small fleet of destroyers is all you need at first, and should be one of the first things you do. In the case of the Polish Empire, this is no different! We must stand vigilant against potentially opressive aliens. Also, an explorer and construction ship, to round things out.



And of course, the fleet is immediately assembled, based, and postured before it is even done. I have taken away command from the fleet's commanding officer, just in case it decides to do something wonky before the fleet is finished constructing. After that, though, it should be able to kill most early-game threats within that blue circle without my intervention.



So, the Polish people are prepared! They are ready! The stage is set! Lengthier updates to commence shortly...

I am excited! This looks very promising. [:)]

Woop for extra time!

And so, the early years pass slowly--as all early years do. Eventually the focus will shift to bigger and better things, but in the early going it is Pirates and Kaltors that are the real threat to the Polish people! There is a battle that people still talk about in Poland's hypothetical farther-off-future called the Great Kaltor Fight. Read on to discover more, but first, I remind everyone: I do this by taking screenshots as I play, whenever I see something important. Every now and then I'll save, quit, and give the screenshots names after cropping them that remind me of why I took them. At first these sessions will be mostly about colonizing, fighting pirates, and securing my spacelanes, but eventually the focus will shift to bigger things.

Session One: Pirates, pirates, and more pirates

The first order of business was a religious one. Divine forces beyond the comprehension of mortal man have decreed that Ubtrixta 2 be renamed to Warsaw. Everyone thinks this is a dumb name, but who can argue with god?



Secondly, the scouts have finally born fruit! A promising world is discovered, right on our doorstep! A colony ship is immediately ordered built, and the whole Polish Empire twitterpates with excitement.




Once more, we discover a behemoth cruiser derlict in space. Polish authorities are more than happy to add this to navy, but we begin to wonder at the advanced nature of these ships. What if we run in to the people who lost these ships?



And that was the last of the good news, for awhile. Next began a period of frenzied anti-pirate activities, spear-headed by a seemingly invincible ship that would elude the greater bulk of my forces for over a year.




Just when the bulk of forces showed up to give him a good what-for, he managed to get away!



But his trail of madness did not end. Soon after, a buddy of his in a different system...




This one was not so lucky! He met death at the hands of the fleet. But we never did catch Angry Specter, despite multiple aborted raids against my outlying mines.

But all of this does beg the question.. how do I defend all my stuff? We're not overflowing with money, and there are now two pirate factions attacking us.. Our main space highway is easy to defend for now, but after it spreads out we're in trouble.



But it's not all bad! Our colony ship is finally complete, and on the way to the new world!




Stay tuned next time, for the Great Kaltor Fight.. the most trouble we've had since 1939.

Next came a period of intense activity on all fronts: Scientific, Political, Economic, and Military! Many interesting things happened in this two-year span, but none more legendary than...

Session Two: The Great Kaltor Fight and Other Interesting Stuff

As the decade of the 2550s drew to a close, lots of interesting things were going on in the Polish Empire. Chief among them, the knowledge that not only did Aliens exist, but they were really mean! Driven by fears of the constant pirate raids, and scientific speculation on the nature of the beings that left those advanced cruisers for our taking, a xenophobic vibe has overtaken the empire! And none more Xenophobic than the Emperor of the Polish Empire:



And so when the lush moon of Nilsoo was finally colonized, it was declared a Penal Colony, where hostile alien life-forms would be forced to serve to the benefit of the Empire. The brave citizens of Poland were more than willing to consider treating with reasonable, human-like life.. but clearly--as proven by these Pirates!--we cannot trust the truly Alien ones.



By this point the Empire had given in to reality: Pirates are hard to fight. Especially when you don't know where they are coming from. We agreed to pay the fee for 'protection' but refused outright Alliance with the alien scum. Just wait until we find your base...



The Empire has become better at this whole 'space' thing. We now boast a Large Spaceport, and can afford to increase the fleet! Our policy of patience is paying off.




And then, because good news just isn't very fun, one of our explorers ran across a most dastardly thing! While investigating ancient ruins on a nearby colonizable planet, they triggered the release of a Kaltor swarm! Their resemblence to Lobsters, and the irony contained in that, is not lost on this poor Explorer--who would later write of the experience as "Like realizing the Lobster in the tank at Green Lobster was really just waiting to eat you all along!"



And that was the shot heard 'round the local cluster. The first fleet, itching for action since the truce with the Pirates, is sent to kill these ravenous space-crustaceans.



When the fleet arrived in-system, they were shocked to find the biggest of the three waiting right there! They narrowly avoided his grasping claws!


But it turns out these Giant Kaltors were pretty fast. At least, compared to our slow fleets.


Thankfully, Kaltors do not have hyperspace technology. Or, if they do, they don't really know how to use it right. We were able to surround it!


The other two Giant Kaltors proved less of a thread, but a price was paid! You can bet that after this, the Exploration Ships of the Polish Empire will be more hesitant to poke their noses in ancient ruins!


Incidentally, while nosing about, we came across a potential treasure-trove! As well as a new form of alien life... Fortunately, these Space Slugs don't seem as dangerous as the Giant Kaltors.


By 2561, our Empire has two new colonies, and a defense grid that we can rely upon! It is only a matter of time now, before we can take the fight to the aliens.

Whew.. things move along quick in this one. I do not think I will get a chance to build up as much as I usually do. However, the Empire of Poland has reached a critical moment in its future history! Read on, in...

Session Three: Save the Humans!

The 2560s were a lot like the 2550s. Except they weren't. For the first few years, at least, it was pretty overwhelming. No matter how many little fleets the Empire dotted around its newfound interstellar territory, it never quite seemed enough! To top it off, the Empire had overreached with its gigantic military projects, leading to a slow-down in ship production, and periodic halts in the economy that made it impossible to susstain the truce with the Pirates!

The Reach of the Polish Empire... It is a paper tiger. The large defensive sector to the north is unmanned, and the ships haven't even begun construction.


Our Colony Ship, which has been taking nearly all our resources, is nearly complete. It is hoped that both our fleet and our economy will grow once it is launched.


Of course, during these times of hardship, the Pirates took it upon themselves to cause trouble. Most of them came and went without doing any real damage (other than giving our over-extended fleets a good scare!) but this particular pirate was hell-bent on meeting his quota!



The Polish Empire does not fear lone Pirate raiders any longer. We sincerely hope that that was Angry Spectre, but the officer in charge at the scene forgot to check.


The next scare came from an unlikely, but familiar source: My explorer found something, and poked it. To be fair, this looked to be an advanced peice of technology... it was capable of monitoring vast distances of space in real-time--something our great Polish Science-corps has yet to achieve!



No sooner had we discovered this marvellous piece of technology than we got a strange reading from its already-strange controls! Apparently, a fleet was headed our way! And not just any fleet, but a fleet of the Ancient Guardians--a race that the Polish people have not quite figured out what to think of it. They only communicate as big holographic faces, that is if they even decide to communicate at all. Certainly not 'good people.'


As if Pirates, Giant Kaltors, and mistifying space face-holograms wasn't bad enough.. there was the Rats. We met them on our 'northern' frontier, just as the economy began to turn upwards in 2563. Apparently, they have humans on their worlds! And they live on frozen icy wastelands! Unacceptable, thought all the proper-thinking Poles of the Empire. Considering how frosty they were during negotiations, we can only assume that they do not regard the humans on their world highly.



If there is one thing that the people of the Polish Empire of the 2560s know how to do, its spy on people. There's no privacy on Planet Warsaw! If you think there is, it's just because you're the only person not watching the hyperdigital web-cam feed. Honestly. Therefore, the solution for these 'Ugnari' was simple. Send the spy. First, we needed to find out where their Homeworld was.


No sooner had the Agent boarded his stealth spy-fighter en-route to dock with a large pirate freighter bound for (alleged) Ugnari Space, that the powers back in Warsaw got another breathtaking peice of news!


This system was located just outside our 'Northwestern' frontier. This is not too far from where we theorize Ugnari space to begin, but with the vastness of the Galaxy who can say? It is certain that we must claim this world, though, as the Ugnari may want to Enslave them!


But finally, at the end of 2563, the Colony Ship bound for the 'Northern' frontier (and its vast Gas Cloud wealth) is complete, and the economy resumes its' previous strength! Things are looking up for the empire, but we wait eagerly for Agent Tarfan to return from Ugnari space, with word of the unknown...

*Looks at the title*
.
..
...
Oh, I see what you did there!
Took me a while to get that. [:)]

Interesting start. Looking to see more.

Very funny AAR! I'm really looking forward to more of this. I laughed out loud when I read that we humans are really, really good at spying on things with webcams.

I did have to Google the title. Supposedly this whole "Poland can't into space" thing stems from a comic strip that features a little spherical Poland? This particular strip, perhaps?

Excellent AAR, looking forward to following along!

Regards,

- Erik

great AAR and for sure polish people have a place in space.

just read the wing commander novel "fleet action". there is a polish destroyer captain named polawski. he must see the bad guys (kilrathi) destroying his home planet new warsaw with strontium 90 bombs and in the last desprate battle in sol system for survivel of the humanity his 5 destroyers make a kamikaze high speed run for a kilrathi super carrier when the terran carriers are all destroyed or damaged, hits the last remaining kilrathi carrier badly with ramming and torpedos (mike polawski dies of course) and saves the humanity.

so go poland go.

Polish history is full of such engaging tragedy! Warsaw as in "War saw Poland divided as a banquet for three empires"? Poland will do better in space, not stuck between the of Russia, Germany and Austria. Will the lessons of Polish history affect the role-playing aspect of the game?

P.S. I missed that cartoon before - it is funnier now, when Europe is broke and none of them can into space (except maybe the Swiss).

This was Polish Empires first attempt at getting into space: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrdx_aqe59M

ORIGINAL: Keston

Polish history is full of such engaging tragedy! Warsaw as in "War saw Poland divided as a banquet for three empires"? Poland will do better in space, not stuck between the of Russia, Germany and Austria. Will the lessons of Polish history affect the role-playing aspect of the game?

P.S. I missed that cartoon before - it is funnier now, when Europe is broke and none of them can into space (except maybe the Swiss).

Kind of. These Poles may or may not have any relation to the Polish people of the world we know. However, when your nation gets the shaft as bad as Poland, it's sure to offend all Polish people through time and space that call themselves Polish. So, there is certainly some extra-dimensional angst!

It's like when you say that someone was so offensive that so-and-so turned over in his grave. Except it was Germany and Russia, and instead of a Grave you have a planet full of strange space-Poles.

Madness!

I did have to Google the title. Supposedly this whole "Poland can't into space" thing stems from a comic strip that features a little spherical Poland? This particular strip, perhaps?

Yes! Precisely. In EU3, they made an achievement you could get just for Poland. To get it, you had to go from a decently powerful but technologically disadvantaged nation to a westernized superpower. The idea being that Poland always gets the shaft, so why not show some love?

This is the same. But in space!

This was Polish Empires first attempt at getting into space: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrdx_aqe59M

[:D]

A brief but important part of the Polish Empire's future-history! In...

Session Four: The Return of Tarfan

The latter half of 2563 was spent with the Polish Empire collectively holding its breath for Agent Tarfan. He off, alone and unaided, surrounded by alien scum in the depths of uncharted space! When will he return, and what news will he bring!?


At this same time, a coronation ceremony was underway for the new Grand Duke of Warsaw! Grand Duke is a new position in the Empire's government, intended to ease the burden of managing an interstellar civilization! This man has risen fast, but not much is known about him.. we'll be keeping an eye on this guy.


But just when interminable waiting seemed too much to bear, Pirates! A lone raider makes a run on one of our already-damaged gas stations. We get him, but we lose the station. This is not good, and we are not amused. Try as we might, we still haven't found the Pirate bases, and there are now three factions operating in our space!



But once more, the Ugnari grab our attention in a bad way. A construction ship is building a mining base in the same system where we found the independant colony of humans! This is a bad sign, since our only colony ship is still under construction! The Construction ship's escort lingers above the colony. Surely, they mean to enslave those people!



Well, we can't have them enslaving those humans! Our brave Emperor resolves to send one of the Alien Cruisers to monitor the situation. If they try to colonize the planet, we'll blow their ships out of the sky!


But no sooner had the order been given, than the Ugnari showed their true intent! They claimed the planet as their own, though how 30 Million Ugnaris could enslave the whole planet boggles our minds. Surely, these rat-like creatures must be immensely powerful! Small minorities in the academic community suggest that perhaps the humans in that system, for one, welcome their new rat-like overlords. We doubt this very much.


In the 'Northern' sector, with all of its access to Gas Clouds, we have finally established a credible presence. All that's left now is for Agent Tarfan to return with his report.




Yes! But the news is not good. Apparently, the Ugnari control an amount of space slightly larger than our own, on top of having a much larger population. But we cannot sit idly by while they enslave humans! Plans must be drawn up..


But even then, space is HUGE! Even with the discovery of these strange aliens, we have barely scratched the surface. We hesitate to commit to war, when there is so much we don't know.. but these Ugnari seem like a pretty big threat. Plus, we don't have any slaves at the penal colony, and that's just not okay.


Stay tuned...

Love that last image! I need to make more use of the Galaxy Map.

And Warsaw! How cool is that?

Of course, I can't just do one update. Things are starting to heat up, in...

Session Five: Preparations

The time has come for the Polish Empire to assert its might! For too long have we stood by and held our tempers while aliens ran amock in our space. Agent Tarfan is sent once more into the breach, to damage the Ugnari supply lines.


At the same time, an offensive was planned against the Pirates. We've known for some time that the Pirates must be nearby, and that there are probably less of them than we think. Finally, we have solid proof! A Pirate base is located not too far from friendly space, and the 2nd Fleet--our go-to Alien Cruiser--is on it.


The results were predictable: These scum are mere annoyances, and the real threat lay elsewhere. Two Pirate bases were destroyed by the roving cruiser!



With the Pirate threat significantly reduced, our economy once again began to flourish! We have yet to exploit the gas clouds of the North, or the South, but still our demand is remarkably manageable.


But nothing is ever simple in this universe, and soon our exploration ships found something unexpected! Our linguists confirm that the languages used in the reports are similar to older languages spoken on Warsaw! This confirms once again that our biggest fear is advanced, hostile alien life.


We met two new races in the 'summer' of 2765, both most hideous and unappealing. The Atuuks, however, look as though they might be perfect candidates for slavery, if it weren't for their apparent military strength... We think this might be one of those short-term friend/long-term slave relationships, potentially. We are not sure what to think of the Haakonish, as they are both rude and ugly.


But shortly afterwards, we got common-frequency declarations from the two governments! It's a good thing we paid our GNN Bill, or else we would have missed this.


Sensing trouble, Agent Tarfan completes his mission and returns home. He is quickly becoming a celebrated legend in the Polish Empire! Like some kind of James Bondwlaswky.


We are in a period of unprecedented economic and military growth! And, our nearest neighbor is incredibly vulnerable. The time to liberate the humans in Ugnari space is nearly at hand!

Edge-of-your-seat excitement.

The excitement continues! In...

Session Six: Ripe for the Taking

The 2760s zoomed past, much like the 1960s, but without the drugs and free love. And with aliens. The Polish Empire has been adapting at a conservative pace in this new age of space! Slowly, but surely, we are embracing the benefits of space travel! Behold: A Casino that orbits a Nuetron Star! Try and beat that with a stick.


Meanwhile, efforts were undertaken on the diplomatic front. The Ugnari came forward with an offer of Free Trade, which we declined! We have nothing but contempt for these rats. The Atuuks, on the hand, could prove valuable allies...


The Northern resource area is proving valuable! We now have two colonies, and several gas mines, as well as a Medium Spaceport and a Small Spaceport, all near our northern gas clouds. The hyperspace lanes are crowded with freighters shuttling resources between the northern resource sector, and the homeworld! This space lane is well guarded...


Further good things continued to happen! Such fortune is rare for the Polish people. It has been over ten years since we established our policy of slavery for hostile alien life. The Mantarran Penal Colony is a blossoming world of over a billion human souls! And yet, we have no slaves. Two things happened to change that:

First, we discovered the Shandar system! A race of grotesque and lazy lizards, we decide that they must be put to work. They willingly invite our colony ship to land, only to be be put on shuttles and sent to the penal colony! It will take a very long time to transport them all, but in the meantime we can tax them and mine the world dry! A new Hyperspace lane fills with freighters and slave-transports.



Next, we found a drifting colony ship full of Dhayuts! These evil, nasty spider-like creatures are well known to us, as many of the Pirate factions attacking us were made up of these things. We board the ship, and send it to the Penal colony!


While all of this was going on, Agent Tarfan continued to prove his worth! Over and over again, he proved invaluable in weakening the Ugnari.


Eventually, we felt confident enough to notch it up! A war council was called, and plans were drawn up. The colony of formerly independant humans was currently underdefended, and we seek to exploit this.


The plan was simple: We would send the Invasion Flotilla on a surprise attack of the former independant colony. It would drop off half of its' troops, and then rendevous with the Main Battle Fleet in the north where--assuming things go according to plan--we will be able to pick off undefended colonies while harassing Ugnari supply lines and defensive networks.



Will it work? Will the Polish Empire crush its enemies, driving them in to slavery and shame!? Will we continue to Into Space!? Our Empire stands strong in 2569, ready to meet its enemies in battle.


Stay tuned...