And now for something completely different
Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 10:55 pm
For all the recent seriousness of the mod business, I think we could use a good laugh. Here’s a nonexistent mod with all the adjustments that no one wants.
Sub durability has been decreased to 1.
Every base and ship is now misspelled . . . except Oglala
Noumea is now a level 10 port
French Frigate Shoals is now a 10/10 base . . . with a shipyard just for the hell of it.
San Francisco is now a 1/1 Malaria base
IJN and IJA have 200 air replacements apiece
The Lancer has been beefed up to the equivalent of an F-16
There are now more versions of the Wildcat than there are flavors at Baskin Robins.
The B2 is an available build
The off-map base Antarctica has been added
Hong Kong now starts as a Japanese base (to hell with it)
Macarthur now commands every allied HQ in the game . . . and a few Japanese HQs to boot.
The Combined fleet is now lead by a “WO 0/0”
B-29s can be based on carriers
There are 50 atomic bombs in the allied starting pool
Japan gets one Oscar . . . and it sucks.
Japanese PBs are no longer APDs or DEs, they’ve been changed to more useless Japanese CVEs.
Canada is now represented by a single base called “The 51st state”
The Los Angeles base has been changed to “Hollywood”
John F Kennedy now commands a new aircraft carrier – the “Ronald Reagan” (that's right, I managed to piss off both sides!)
Macarthur now commands PT109 (busy man, that Macarthur)
The Ki-15 has been added
. . . so has the Sopwith Pup
LCUs not only suffer from Malaria in small bases, but now if the base is too big they take damage from Herpes (reckon I should change San Fran back to a 10/10?)
The 33rd and 55th Jap divisions now begin the game in Burma (to hell with it, again)
Several Chinese units begin the game in Hanoi (ditto)
The 2nd Marine Division now enters the game in ’44 with only two squads undamaged.
The AVG is now immune to all Japanese bullets
The Zero sucks
Nate kicks ass
German U-boats have been added to the Australian fleet commanded by Chinese officers (wearing New Zealander britches)
The ship art will be done in “Picasso-grey”
The “midget sub” device has been added for the Japanese
. . . the “circus midget” device has been added for the allies
Oi has been given a consonant or two.
The London upgrades to a Japanese AG
Memberships for the “team” will be available on EBay
And last, but not least -
There is no ship named “Enterprise” (to hell with you Trekies)
Me and my partners (invisible friends who my shrink says don’t exist) are somewhat open to anyone’s input.
bs
Sub durability has been decreased to 1.
Every base and ship is now misspelled . . . except Oglala
Noumea is now a level 10 port
French Frigate Shoals is now a 10/10 base . . . with a shipyard just for the hell of it.
San Francisco is now a 1/1 Malaria base
IJN and IJA have 200 air replacements apiece
The Lancer has been beefed up to the equivalent of an F-16
There are now more versions of the Wildcat than there are flavors at Baskin Robins.
The B2 is an available build
The off-map base Antarctica has been added
Hong Kong now starts as a Japanese base (to hell with it)
Macarthur now commands every allied HQ in the game . . . and a few Japanese HQs to boot.
The Combined fleet is now lead by a “WO 0/0”
B-29s can be based on carriers
There are 50 atomic bombs in the allied starting pool
Japan gets one Oscar . . . and it sucks.
Japanese PBs are no longer APDs or DEs, they’ve been changed to more useless Japanese CVEs.
Canada is now represented by a single base called “The 51st state”
The Los Angeles base has been changed to “Hollywood”
John F Kennedy now commands a new aircraft carrier – the “Ronald Reagan” (that's right, I managed to piss off both sides!)
Macarthur now commands PT109 (busy man, that Macarthur)
The Ki-15 has been added
. . . so has the Sopwith Pup
LCUs not only suffer from Malaria in small bases, but now if the base is too big they take damage from Herpes (reckon I should change San Fran back to a 10/10?)
The 33rd and 55th Jap divisions now begin the game in Burma (to hell with it, again)
Several Chinese units begin the game in Hanoi (ditto)
The 2nd Marine Division now enters the game in ’44 with only two squads undamaged.
The AVG is now immune to all Japanese bullets
The Zero sucks
Nate kicks ass
German U-boats have been added to the Australian fleet commanded by Chinese officers (wearing New Zealander britches)
The ship art will be done in “Picasso-grey”
The “midget sub” device has been added for the Japanese
. . . the “circus midget” device has been added for the allies
Oi has been given a consonant or two.
The London upgrades to a Japanese AG
Memberships for the “team” will be available on EBay
And last, but not least -
There is no ship named “Enterprise” (to hell with you Trekies)
Me and my partners (invisible friends who my shrink says don’t exist) are somewhat open to anyone’s input.
bs



