Hetzer's School of Unsportsmanlike Conduct

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 5:43 am

I don't theenk he woke up that morning at all! It was a dream. Heh, good joke anywayse.....now do ya want that head or what?

GROND · Post by **GROND** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 9:56 pm

Originally posted by GROND
Woke up waaaaay too early this A.M. but finally got to meet Barba Papa. We played a game in classic at my house with me driving a LegBreaker (3 gauss/2 pulse) and him in a MindFlayer. Fortunately for me the LegBreaker has a shield 4:p The 1st 4 of 5 gauss rounds to the head could also have had something to do with why he didn't hit me more often <grin>

B.P. you played a really sound game with no weaknesses for me to exploit but try the "firing on heat black" thing that you saw me do, it makes a huge difference. ToS is a game of millimeters and you have to exploit every percentage point.

(Weak and weary old man looks at overcrowded mantlepiece, shrugs, and gently sets Titan Fodders head on top of Touringdelicycle's)

tarendelcymir · Post by **tarendelcymir** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 10:09 pm

The post so nice, you had to send it twice, eh Hetz? Heh heh.

GROND · Post by **GROND** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 11:10 pm

Owie!!!

Dueled Titan Fodder last night for the 1st time (sorry about that Barba Papa) (blushes).

He's mean

Here I am out for my evening constitutional stroll in a Mugger and this Hoodlum skulks his way onto a medium wooded hill and starts showering AC20s and AC12s down upon me. Then to add injury to insult he hit's Me in the head with an AC20 round, Twice!
Now I ask you. Is that any way for a newcomer to behave? Determined to teach this insolent young whippersnapper a lesson I jump towards him and land (well, ok, so I landed a Little harder than I had planned on) in some dense woods. Getting my feet back under me I started returning fire from cover until he lit my trees (classic) up like a weenie roast (Taren, I heard that....).
Deciding that valor was the better part of discression I charged out of the woods to brave his fire and settled down to a slugging match. Aha! Finally! His LT goes bye bye and I begin to breath again. For all of 3 whole game seconds

His counter fire consists of a LL And and AC20 to my lower torso removing it from the rest of my Mugger and I decide that lying down is probably a good idea.
I spend the next few of his moves making loud banging noises around his Hoodlum until he DFAs me and makes both of his checks to stay standing. The game ended shortly after that due to the complications ensuing from catching a third AC20 round with my teeth.

Warning Warning Danger Danger. Do not play this person. He is a bad sort of fellow and can be hazardous to one's self esteem.

whitefirefox · Post by **whitefirefox** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 12:34 am

hey congrats titan fodder!

was that your first (or one of your first) human vs human fights?

if so nice job on hetzer there

tarendelcymir · Post by **tarendelcymir** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 1:06 am

Originally posted by GROND
Owie!!!

Dueled Titan Fodder last night for the 1st time (sorry about that Barba Papa) (blushes).

He's mean

Here I am out for my evening constitutional stroll in a Mugger and this Hoodlum skulks his way onto a medium wooded hill and starts showering AC20s and AC12s down upon me. Then to add injury to insult he hit's Me in the head with an AC20 round, Twice!
Now I ask you. Is that any way for a newcomer to behave? Determined to teach this insolent young whippersnapper a lesson I jump towards him and land (well, ok, so I landed a Little harder than I had planned on) in some dense woods. Getting my feet back under me I started returning fire from cover until he lit my trees (classic) up like a weenie roast (Taren, I heard that....).
Deciding that valor was the better part of discression I charged out of the woods to brave his fire and settled down to a slugging match. Aha! Finally! His LT goes bye bye and I begin to breath again. For all of 3 whole game seconds His counter fire consists of a LL And and AC20 to my lower torso removing it from the rest of my Mugger and I decide that lying down is probably a good idea.
I spend the next few of his moves making loud banging noises around his Hoodlum until he DFAs me and makes both of his checks to stay standing. The game ended shortly after that due to the complications ensuing from catching a third AC20 round with my teeth.

Warning Warning Danger Danger. Do not play this person. He is a bad sort of fellow and can be hazardous to one's self esteem.

(Looking innocent) I didn't say anything.
4 out of 5 jocks recommend not catching AC20 rounds with your teeth. The fifth, of course, can no longer speak.

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 5:45 am

Hahaha!!! I just LMAO reading Hetzer's post.

He forgot to mention that i tripped over a branch whilst trying to dodge his fire,and that i crouched once to get that extra % out of my lasers only to find out that serial production Hoodlums come with lasers installed IN THE LEGS. What can i say,i forgot to read the manual in the glove compartment

It just wasnt your day was it? That headshot shouldn happen to anyone. And i almost apologized for the second one. The DFA was purely cosmetic and unnecesary cos your AC20 was capable of making extra holes for my pockets and not just loud noises. The smart thing would have been to stay on that hill,but no... i just had to go shake your tee...erm, hand.

But the dead-funny part was when you posted "i'm just settling down for some work" via ICQ and lost your LO torso a few seconds later.

Last but not least thanx for the help on setting up a netgame. It was confusing early on.

And yes i'm mean and dangerous.(when i'm lucky(and carefull)).

PrinceCorrin · Post by **PrinceCorrin** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 5:00 pm

Even as lucky as you where, it's still a great accomplishment to defeat hetzer. He is not universally acknowledged as the greatest scourge of ToS for no reason. But you do know that he will come after your head with terrible thoughts of vengeance right?

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 11:31 pm

Played a 4 way with Barba-Papa and Da T-Bear vs me and an AI set to Ace. For the 1st time I have ever played with the AI on "my side" I got a smart one

It didn't stop at the nearest hill and play "ostrich" it kept firing at the titan I was firing at even though Barba-Papa was closer (in a Rubbler). It even kept shooting Tdybr in the head for me

(all three of us had Howlers) (2 clgs/tesla/LL/3 smls) What a grand way to open Hetzer's Haus of Headsmanship for business this weekend.

PS: (will someone kindly explain to Titan Fodder that having a life and responsibilities does not allow them to pass up a 4 player game) :p

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sun Jan 12, 2003 6:33 am

Played Cyvahn (of 4,368) and Titan Fodder in Polar. Me and the drain bamaged AI again (set to Ace).

What a great game! Started 2 on 1 them (PunchDrunk and CraterMaker) vs AI in LegBreaker. I finally pant my way up a wooded mountain and start helping my partner take out the Cratermaker. Then the AI takes off to go after Cyvahn by itsself

And dies gloriously

Bout this time I get close enough to start scanning Cyvahn (not 1 successful scan in the whole game). What follows is a comedy of errors with both of us taking turns falling down. The only reason that I came out on top is that Cyavhns Titan started the endgame more damaged than mine.

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Sun Jan 12, 2003 6:41 am

Not even on saturday nights with bitchy ex-girlfriends getting in your hair? You know i'd rather play video-games,but duty calls, and when you gotta throw rocks and stones you gotta throw rocks and stones. What a piss-poor sat. nite.....sjeesh

cyavhn · Post by **cyavhn** » Sun Jan 12, 2003 7:04 am

I really enjoyed this game. It had the feeling of the moves in chess. Of course I would be waxing eloquent had I won, but if everyone enjoyed themselves, I think that is as good.
At the last Hetzer had the benefit of wooded cover, and combined with his shields my energy weapons had a to hit % of 8 or 9 (somebody explain this to me).
We were both on PunchDrunks, so everything was pretty even from that point. It was only when I tried to get lucky and overheated, then had a shutdown that ended it.
Thanx to Georg. We had a game earlier with me getting destroyed fairly quick. His play is the antithesis of Hetzers`.
__________
War is hell, don`t cheat.

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Sun Jan 12, 2003 6:24 pm

Originally posted by Hetz
Played Cyvahn (of 4,368) and Titan Fodder in Polar. Me and the drain bamaged AI again (set to Ace).

Perhaps if i hadn't decided to bring the Cratermaker into a close fight,i wouldn't have spent HALF the fight playing solitaire in my cockpit, surrounded with tons of LRM ammo going off as fireworks.
What a dumbass. :rolleyes: Oh and i have to give Hetzer's Legbreaker some credit as well. It really lived up to it's name in this game.(bloody gauss cannons, all 4 of them..grrr)

The previous game with Cyvahn was really easy once i managed to get close to him. 4 Cold Lights deliver buttloads of damage without overheating. If there were less hills around i'd be in trouble cos he could pick me off from long range with AC4&7s.
He was soooo accurate early on, and i was worried.

Great games

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Mon Jan 13, 2003 12:46 pm

Ordinarily I Hate to end the weekend with a whimper but since it was Titan Fodder's I'll make an exception

We played a 2 x 2 (expert AI) I had a Rubbler (3HMGs/2LL) (AI) and a Beguiler (2PBs/2NBs/1Pulse/3smalls) he had a Widowmaker (2PBs/3Pulse) and a MindFlayer (2PBs/3NBs). Fortunately for me his AI was a bold sort of fellow who saw no problem with taking on the two of me. By the time that Titan Fodder entered the fray his teamate had turned all kinds of pretty colors and soon ejected due to engine problems (fast DCS, YEAAH). The one good thing about a Beguiler is that it has a shield 4 which, when you're facing a MindFlayer, is a good thing.
Titan Fodder's MindFlayer sucumbed to a combination of NBs and Mesons messing with his mind as well as his titan.

All in all, a not bad weekend for an old fart

Hetzer's Haus of Headlessness is now officially closed until next weekend when we expect, dare we say it, to once again demonstrate our head for business.

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 12:42 pm

Dueled Blood Angel in the Savanah. I had a LegBreaker and he had an Abnegator (too dam many Srms). Fortunately for me I was able to find a big hill with a moat in front of it from which to snipe. I was hoping to take his head after the 4th Gauss shot but his RL fell of first

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 11:29 pm

**** don't you just hate it when that happens

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sun Jan 19, 2003 2:32 am

Does that mean that you're going to give me another chance to get it right? <grin>

TitanFodder · Post by **TitanFodder** » Tue Jan 21, 2003 6:30 am

Hopefully more than one. <evil grin>

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sat Jan 25, 2003 3:55 pm

Well, Titan Fodder got his next (last) chance on Fri night. We dueled in polar with him piloting a Thug (3AC12/2LL) and myself in a PunchDrunk (2PBs/2BRGs/3srm4s/ML). My titan lived up to its' name and kept knocking him down often enough for me to get the win.

ps: (that was some great sucking up TF but it ain't gonna save you) :p

Hetz · Post by **Hetz** » Sun Jan 26, 2003 8:08 am

Cyavhn, if you're going to criticize my spelling next time I suggest that you do it after we play

We dueled in Hell. He was driving a MindFlayer (2PBs/3NBs) and I had a WidowMaker (2PBs/3Pulse/SML/shield 5). The Shield is what won the game for me. That and Cyavhns inability to maintain heat discipline.

I don't lie to you guys. If you try and fire every weapon that you can as soon as you can you're living very dangerously indeed. Firing hot will make you miss more often and if your shield overloads when your heat is already in the red you're gonna shutdown.