Behind the scenes

Panzer Command: Ostfront is the latest in a new series of 3D turn-based tactical wargames which include single battles, multi-battle operations and full war campaigns with realistic units, tactics and terrain and an informative and practical interface. Including a full Map Editor, 60+ Scenarios, 10 Campaigns and a very long list of improvements, this is the ultimate Panzer Command release for the Eastern Front!

Moderator: rickier65

Post Reply
User avatar
junk2drive
Posts: 12856
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 7:27 am
Location: Arizona West Coast

Behind the scenes

Post by junk2drive »

at Palacio Chez Ostrich (throw foreign words at it and it sounds better, like rancho and cucamonga)

Restaurateur Erik decided to expand his offerings. Erik bought the old Palacio Chez Kraut. Part of the deal included the cookbook. Erik came up with a menu with an Eastern flair.

Soon after, his chef quit. His accountant said "hey I've cooked a bit, let me have a try"

I was the dishwasher amongst a talented kitchen team. And I eat everything. (more truth than you know)

The accountant was absent for a while and then appeared with an ostrich dish. The presentation was fantastic. A delight for the eyes.

Soon the team tried it. It was good, but lacking something. Of course everyone had an opinion on what seasoning should be used or left out.

Word soon leaked out to the public of this new dish. People clamored for a peek. They speculated on how it was served. "I'll bet it has gravy on it".

"Oh crap" the team said. Gravy was added quickly which required much perfecting.

"And mushrooms in the gravy", oh crap, add that too. "But I don't like erasers that taste like dirt!" "OK OK I'll make it so that yours doesn't have any.

Then someone wanted "flambeau". The accountant/chef asked the team if they could make brandy and matches for this. The team said that to keep with the theme they would make schnaps and vodka.

All was done. "How it is?" the chef asked. "It ignites before I strike the match" replied a waiter. "Timing issue, I'll get it worked out" said the chef.

Finally they were ready. Everyone gathered to taste the dish.

"It's bloody" said one. "It's supposed to be" said the chef. "You can't have blood in it or mom's won't let their children near it". "Ok" said the chef "I'll fix it."

"Now it's too tough". The chef was not amused. "You want me to make it easier for some people to digest?" he bellowed. "Yes, we need all the customers that we can get" said Erik.

The team was in the final stages of testing. "Hey what's that?" "Looks like a bug". The chef said "We can leave it in, no one will notice". But Erik said no, find the source of the bugs and get rid of them.

The team ate it every day. Some said they couldn't get enough. That strange desire to have just one more bite.

And Erik told the team he planned to invite some friends over to preview the entree.

"No, not that guy" complained one, "he treated me badly at that other restaurant". Erik said "but we need him. If he likes this, he will tell a lot of people how good it is."

So after much trial and error, occasional bickering, threats and such, the dish was ready for prime time.

Except they found another bug. But it was a little one that no one would notice.

The grand day arrived. Lots of beef eaters and others came to partake.

Some people thought it was a lot like beef. They already had beef so why bother. Others didn't like it at all.

Some people stood outside and said they had something like it once and didn't like it so they wouldn't like this either.

Some people said they would wait for it to be on sale, or could they get their money back if they didn't like it, or did we have free samples.

Time passed. Thank goodness many people liked it and Erik prospered.

Erik pondered expanding his business. Something more Western, something more American, maybe ostrich soaked in whiskey and then fried.

"I can name it Palacio Chez Whiskey Fried"

to be continued
Conflict of Heroes "Most games are like checkers or chess and some have dice and cards involved too. This game plays like checkers but you think like chess and the dice and cards can change everything in real time."
User avatar
Stridor
Posts: 1391
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 11:01 am

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by Stridor »

OMG ROFLMAO

Took a SS B4 it gets be pulled.

Signed,

The Accountant.
User avatar
Mad Russian
Posts: 13255
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:29 pm
Location: Texas

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by Mad Russian »

That was great!  [&o]

BUT, I still don't like erasers that taste like dirt....[:-]

Good Hunting.

MR
The most expensive thing in the world is free time.

Founder of HSG scenario design group for Combat Mission.
Panzer Command Ostfront Development Team.
Flashpoint Campaigns: Red Storm Development Team.
User avatar
junk2drive
Posts: 12856
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 7:27 am
Location: Arizona West Coast

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by junk2drive »

I left out the part about not serving it on plates but rather skillets. With handles. And the handles have to alternate along the table in front of the guest.

And how that can't be ostrich but I was chicken to put that in too.

Someone will have a beef with this, but I felt compelled to tell the story.
Conflict of Heroes "Most games are like checkers or chess and some have dice and cards involved too. This game plays like checkers but you think like chess and the dice and cards can change everything in real time."
Josh
Posts: 2568
Joined: Tue May 09, 2000 8:00 am
Location: Leeuwarden, Netherlands

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by Josh »

Man that was *very* funny! [:D]
User avatar
junk2drive
Posts: 12856
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 7:27 am
Location: Arizona West Coast

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by junk2drive »

"Anything new for the menu?"
"Yeah, dead horse"
"How do you prepare it?"
"You have to tenderize it"
"And how do you do that?"
"You beat it"
"You beat the dead horse?"
"Yep, a lot"
"Does that make it palatable?"
"No, but some people enjoy the heck out of it"
Conflict of Heroes "Most games are like checkers or chess and some have dice and cards involved too. This game plays like checkers but you think like chess and the dice and cards can change everything in real time."
Tophat1815
Posts: 1824
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:11 pm

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by Tophat1815 »

Ahh,one of my old favorite past times,beating a dead horse. On second thought lets not go there.....[:'(]
User avatar
junk2drive
Posts: 12856
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 7:27 am
Location: Arizona West Coast

RE: Behind the scenes

Post by junk2drive »

Haven't seen one here yet but seen plenty in my time.
Conflict of Heroes "Most games are like checkers or chess and some have dice and cards involved too. This game plays like checkers but you think like chess and the dice and cards can change everything in real time."
Post Reply

Return to “Panzer Command: Ostfront”