Worst war movie you've ever seen

[Weasel]

Originally posted by Nikademus:
**U-571**

complete with manditory Germans massacering defenceless civilians scene.

one word review after being dragged to see it.

"ACK"

Yep. It was full of BS. Explosions and other effects were quite OK, but all the historic events and facts were... well Hollywood took the credit about Enigma cryptograph (I don´t know what the machine was actually called) from the heroic brits. Shame, because the topic was well picked (there are just few good submarine warmovies).

Another nominees are all the Chuck Norris Vietnam-films. Jeez, do viewers really think that special forces officers had beards and long hair? LOL.

[Lars Remmen]

Originally posted by troopie:
Mogami, you imagined 'Zero'. It does not exist. And there was a 'Dirty Dozen' type flick with German prisoners. They were in an SS penal detachment. Anyone remember the name of this stinker?

troopie

I don't remember the English title but I guess you are referring to 'Døden på larvefødder' by Sven Hassel. His books are purely fiction. If I remember correctly, he was a Gestapo informant in Copenhagen during the war. Did some time i prison after the war I think and then wrote the books. The first book, I forgot the title, was VERY close to 'All quiet on the Western Front' by Remarque.

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Lars
Nec Temere - Nec Timide

[This message has been edited by Lars Remmen (edited November 06, 2000).]

[BruceAZ]

Worst has to be "The Battle of the Buldge." The thing about the cake sure makes me laugh...

Originally posted by Recon:
Well, we've seen plenty of what we like but how about what we hate?

I nominate The Thin Red Line.
Never before have I seen such overbearing, pretencious drivel. If you like being hit over the head with obvious and tedious moralising and slow motion art house sequences then this is the film for you.

On the other hand, the Japanese machine gun looked authentic.

[mogami]

ok here it is guys www.stomptokyo.com movies zero there is a full review of this movie with pictures and everything made by the makers of Godzilla. You can even buy this movie here is you want but if you want to die laughing just read this full page review.
And then you will know "Zero" is the all time Stink bomb rotten war movie.

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I'm not retreating, I'm attacking in a differant direction!

[This message has been edited by Mogami (edited November 07, 2000).]

[Gregi]

Originally posted by Weasel:
(on U 571)
Yep. It was full of BS. Explosions and other effects were quite OK, but all the historic events and facts were... well Hollywood took the credit about Enigma cryptograph (I don´t know what the machine was actually called) from the heroic brits. Shame, because the topic was well picked (there are just few good submarine warmovies).

Capturing of Naval Enigma model was AFAIR an all-american success (U-505 was the first) - but breaking the early Enigma codes and putting into British hands almost complete codebreaking technology was possible due to Polish cryptologists. Later the Bletchley Park institution proved what they were worth of, breaking all new German code modification. Naval Enigma, however, was too much different from the model Brits were familiar with. They were in desperate need to get one. And the did.

The movie U571 is much too filled up with various war events, which rather shouldn't happened in so short period of time. That's why - despite it's visual quality -it seems extremely unrealistic.

The other things are various logical errors like German one-engine (!) patrol plane, German surface ship alone in Atlantic (!! brave men these Germans!) - IIRC called 'destroyer' while it looked rather like port tug painted grey. There were many such strange details, making U571 excellent Hollywood movie, but a poor war one.

Pozdrawiam
Greg

[Kluckenbill]

I visited Mogami's link and it had a review of one of my favorite war movies, Zulu Dawn. This movie depicts colonial battles very realistically and it also is pretty historically accurate. And the good guys even won.

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Target, Cease Fire !

[MikeM]

This is in regards to a comment from Holunder "By the way Americans shooting German prisoners with their hands up (beach scene) in SPR is a war crime. By the way the shooting of unarmed American prisoners at Malmedy in the Battle of the Bulge by "Battle Group Peiper", was a war crime also. So much for your heroic ancestors.

[troopie]

Originally posted by Kluckenbill:
I visited Mogami's link and it had a review of one of my favorite war movies, Zulu Dawn. This movie depicts colonial battles very realistically and it also is pretty historically accurate. And the good guys even won.

"Zulu" was on AMC the other night. It's a fairly realistic depiction of the battle of Rorke's Drift, except for the Boer Scout. I've seen a complete list of all civilian and military personnel at Rorke's Drift, and there were no Boers. Their scouts were Irish.

troopie




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Pamwe Chete

[Kangshen]

There is a weird Spanish movie called "Battle of the Last Panzer". Its supposed to be about a German Tank Crew in the Normandy Fighting. The Tank is an M-47 (what else) But the German Uniforms are only vaguely germanic, while the US troops even seem to be wearing modern Spanish kit, except the helmets - The US Helmets look like flattened out Fallschirmjager issue!!(maybe they ARE Spanish?). For a change, the French peasants are cheering the Germans, while at various points in the movie, the crew includes a buxom blonde French Girl. Yeah........well..

[GrinningDwarf]

Originally posted by Mogami:
Has no one who vists matrix boards never seen movie "Zero"? Was it my misfortune to be the only one subjected to the horror?

Sorry. You didn't imagine it. I was subjected to it myself. In fact, I subjected myself to it!!

I thought the funniest scene was the American AVG pilot. This guy was a cross between Gomer Pyle and Gene Autry. Once I figured out I was looking at a Japanese stereotype of an American, I thought it was hilarious. (I'd always been taught that only Americans were guilty of stereotyping. At least, that's what my public school teachers tried to indoctrinate me with.)

[GrinningDwarf]

Originally posted by Randy:
I'll vote for Combat as the best military
TV show.

Definitely! I saw one episode recently that dealt with the same issue as Saving Private Ryan, but pushed the same question to a whole other level.

In SPR, we saw a bunch of guys following orders to save a guy they didn't know. This Combat episode dealt with, not the following of orders, but just the basic humanity of saving a guy you know that is a complete a** hole, and will always be a complete a** hole.

The squad was on patrol and took fire from a German MG. One guy (not a regular) gets pinned down in an exposed position and cut off from the rest of the squad. This guy had been, like I said, a complete jerk. Only one guy in the squad (again, not a regular) unquestioningly wants to retrieve the jerk. Everyone else, including Saunders, goes through the "geez, is this guy worth risking my butt over?" personal dilemma. The one guy that wants to recover the jerk gets killed in the process, in addition to a couple of other extras. They finally do the right thing and recover the jerk, and guess what? He's still a jerk! He wants to know what took them so long!

As good as I think SPR is, I thought this story was a lot more challenging than SPR.



[This message has been edited by GrinningDwarf (edited November 11, 2000).]

[GrinningDwarf]

If anybody's interested, Battle of the Bulge is on AMC tonight!

DON'T SHOOT!