June 16th, 1941
Emergency
While Chocolino was vacationing in a Scottish fishing resort, disaster struck closer to home. Fully unexpected the British invaded Naples. We almost overlooked this attack since the Naplese military spotters were on their usual June strike. But we were wondering why a British armored unit broke off from the siege of Tripolis and moved away. We found out soon enough where it was likely heading. The German mobile striking force needs to move in now and try to contain the attack on southern Italy.
The Italian naval department was unfortunately not available for comments. Apparently all officials authorized to give statements have been dismissed or have unknown whereabouts in southern Italy. We wonder why. But it is rumored that a portion of the Italian fleet was caught in harbor and did not depart to meet the invasion because of the semi-annual harbor worker strike.
In anger and depressed about his foolishness, Chocolino departed for southern Italy to make the best of the situation. Instead of bathing in vainglory at Scottish press conferences, he should have supervised the defense of Italy. Will the Italians be booted from the boot? We hope not yet.
