Second, DISCLAIMER: the following post should not be read by people trying to learn proper English. The text has nothing to do with grammar or any kind of order. If you speaking like in the post, I am not to blame for the destruction of your social life. You have been warned!!!
Chapter 4: AVAST YE SWABS!!!
Fragments from the log of Captain Lackridge of the ship Supreme Warrior, former commander of "Destroyer of teekans"
Arrrr mateys!!!! This be me ship log, when I remember to record somenthin', suits the new beaut' Tha Big Badda Boss' me givin'!
Arrrr! The Supreme Warrior is deservin' of its name! She's a beaut' beyond my wildest dreams I tell ya.

When me boys and I left Sol2 and joined these here Pestulon scoundrels, I never thought I'd be getting me paws on such a treasure.
Me jolly band of looters just got better after our little'a'messin' around with the Argos. Ol' Lady Luck had it in store fer us when we found the debris field and claimed the ships from those fat iguanas... We be drivin' them back in a jiffy, and all the treasures of the system are ours for the takin'! No time fer a sip from the ol' bottle, fuel is low and Argos are strikin' again. After one more repellent dose we head back to the olde' 'Rsplly shippie. Those fellas don't know what's coming to them for this stunt they pulled.


The boredom of the journey be washed away with some olde' stories of the ol' days, a wee glass of R'ale, and the reports from our brother scoundrels across the galaxy.
We be celebratin' with a crate of the ol' ale when we hearin' about our boys back in the Badlands, the area of permanent fightin' near the bug dudes. Those lucky fellas' are raidin' and lootin' like they've found Davy Jones and got the key to his locker to be givin' to our enemies!!!



Our friends of Raider 4 be leaving the riches of the East to be helpin' us here against the vile Toads who've been harrasing our northernmost mining camps. Sadly, the scrambled defense fleet was too weak for the maddened toads. Raider 1 be hittin' the toads already and lootin' their ships and colonies. Raider 2 be on their way to get rid of the pesky critters harrasing our slave mining camps when one of our spy mates stole their galaxy map and R2 be diverted to investigate a disturbing rumor. Fortunately, R4 got fast enough to engage the squishy toads before they be doing too much damage.
The land of the toads:

The map we be gettin' must be the greatest booty of them all!!! It be showing us the location of the K'spice, the single most valuable resource for a wee pirate like us; can be turned into anything from drugs to medicine and somenthin' else. The Big Badda Boss be changin' our flight plan from the toadies to the Republic. ARRRRRR! We be getting some fightin' on our hands soon!!


Me can't be believin' me olde' ears!! R1 be findin' a ruined vesel of ridiculous size! The frogs be trying to fix it with a fleet of builders our mates quickly destroyed. The Big Badda Boss be tellin' 'em to protect it ....

Our pirate brothers be helpin' us a lot against the Argos. They recently raided one of their major shipyards and crippled it. It be good to see how our alliances work out! But more enemies amass on the horizon as the Kiadians decide to attack us outright! It be good to have many enemies to fight and a barrel o' rum at home, ARRRRRRR!

ARRR mateys, the Republic has declared an open policy of huntin' us. This be meaning we be takin' their booty even sooner than expected. The fuel be in the bellies of our ships and the Big Badda Boss be givin' us the order to go for the spice. We be making big fortune soon! AVAST YE SWABS, HOIST THE MOORING HOOKS, RAISE THE SHIELDS, WARM THE GUNS!!!WE BE GOING HUNTIN'!!!
The scoundrels of PR1 be landin' on the spice planet right now, which is good fer us! But we be needin' to hurry up and help them. Sadly, it appears the Argos have managed to get a World Destroyer, a moving moon with the power to destroy planets!! The Big Badda Boss be thinkin' he ignored them for far too long....


We be holdin' a toast today, for the brave brothers at Dinnascar Base, the bugs be killin' the base........

AVAST YE SWAAAABS! Man the turrets! Raise the shields! BE LOADIN' THE TUBES!! WASH THE DECKS!!! WE be wackin' republic today!!! In a dastardly raid against their fleet we destroyed one of their capitals, then be retreatin' with minimum losses!! Me scoundrels be makin' me proud today!!

Two new Raider fleets be launchin' to fight our enemies! The toads not be lettin' us alone to do our smugglin' and slavin' so the Big Badda Boss decidin' to hit them hard, massin' the big Raider fleet!!

More and more enemies be encroachin' us!! The bugs decided to stop shooting at us and instead work with us against their many enemies! This truly be a glorious year(2776).
While meself and the boys be raidin' republic planets, the other raiders've been havin' problems with the Kennatar. Resupply 2's been destroyed.

R2 protecting RS1:


Raider4 had a run'in with their main fleet. Many pirates be meetin' Davy Jones tha' night. Two survivin' ships, heroes. Som'n good happened though when after small roughin' up later the Otapao Republic decided to give up huntin' us and accepted to pay 'protection'. Us be celebrating tonigh', with Raphidium ale from tha Republic!!! Now we be hopin' Tha mates from R2 be survivin'...they be owin' me a couple'o credits....and a roasted toad leg....

This be makin' me wanna' sing:
We're a band of vicious pirates!
A sailin´ out to space.
When you hear our gentle singing...
You'll be sure to turn and flee!
We're a club of tuneful rovers!
We can sing in every clef!
We can even hit the high notes!
It's just too bad we're tone deaf!
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the 'ngines and roam the stars!
Let's go defeat that evil bug!
We know he's sure to lose, ´cause we know just where to fire at!
We're thieving balladeers.
A gang of cutthroat mugs.
To fight us off ye don't need guns!
Just really good ear plugs!
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the 'ngines and roam the stars!
All right, crew, let's get to work!
Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk.
We'll fight you in the space harbor.
We'll battle you on land.
But when you meet singing pirates...
They'll be more than you can stand.
The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!
We're a pack a´ scurvy sea dogs.
Have we pity? Not a dram!
We all eat roasted garlic...
...then sing from the diaphragm!
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the 'ngines and roam the stars!
When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!
If ye try ta fight us...
...you will get a nasty whackin´!
If ya disrespect our singing´...
...we will feed ya to a kraken!
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the 'ngines and roam the stars!
We´re ready to set sail, through the cannons need a priming.
We're troublesome corsairs!
And we've come to steal your treasures!
We would shoot you on the downbeat...
...but we have to rest five measures.
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the 'ngines and roam the stars!
End of chapter
For those of you who think this wasn't piratey enough, click this link
For those of you who think it's piratey enough, but want more, click this linkie
And for those of you who liked it, and would like to find out more about the origins of the pirates of Pestulon, clikie here
PS: I bet you can't guess where I took the song from, ARRR!!
To Bingeling: sorry I couldn't deliver on the hijacking from hyperspace thing. I don't seem to have the hyperdeny tech, only one of my claimed ships has it and there were too many things going on at once to be able to do this properly without loosing a fleet or two. If there's anything else I can provide, pirate-style?