The Gorn Supremacy; stock AW1Steve v. geofflambert

[geofflambert]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Oops, that's not it, the beginning I mean. That's the start of "A Tale of Two Cities", a book I much enjoyed in my youth, but not evocative of the stupendous struggle before us now.

[MakeeLearn]

Darn!!! I Thought it was "A Tale of Two Titties".

[Canoerebel]

Day had broken cold and gray, exceedingly cold and gray, when the gorn turned aside from the main Yukon trail and climbed the high earth bank, where a dim and little-traveled trail led eastward through the fat spruce timberland. It was a steep bank, an the gorn paused for breath at the top, excusing the act to himself by looking at his chronometer. It was three-hundred-and-four o'clicks by the reckoning of the myrmidons. There was no sun nor hint of sun, though there was not a cloud in the sky ...

P.S. Great title, Geoff.

[geofflambert]

Let's try again:

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Oh, dear, that's not it either. That's the end of "A Tale of Two Cities" where the Scarlet Pimpernel becomes acquainted with the People's Razor.

You all are going to have to have some patience with me. I'm doing jury duty beginning Tuesday (it would normally begin on Monday, but it's MLK Jr. day). I will begin this campaign without doing a playtest to make sure nothing goes wrong. This will be my seventh or eighth campaign PBEM so I should know what I'm doing by now, but I'm more that a bit rusty. I still have stuff to work out and I'll need all the encouragement I can get.

[Canoerebel]

Well, I encourage you not to adapt any paragraphs from a Robert Ludlum novel to your use. That guy wrote the longest, most confusing paragraphs (and books) ever!

But he came up with great titles, and his books turned into some terrific movies.

Good luck!

[geofflambert]

The peanut gallery is out in full force, apparently lying in ambush for me. So be it.

I will begin again.

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born (as I have been informed and believe) on a Friday, at twelve o'clock at night. It was remarked that the clock began to strike, and I began to cry, simultaneously.

Oh, no. That's the beginning of "David Copperfield", a wretched, wretched book. I tried to read that awful abomination about seven times and don't think I ever even got to the end of the second chapter. Woe to all who open that extraordinarily long tome, long to no purpose whatsoever.

I will begin this (for real) with what may be the best opening paragraph ever written by mortal man for a work of fiction or fact, but you're just going to have to sit on pins and needles waiting for it.

[Canoerebel]

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country, and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Geoff.

[geofflambert]

By the way, it won't start with "Call me Ishmael", although that may be the greatest work of fiction ever writ. I've seen a pic or two of Steve and he is no white whale.

[Canoerebel]

Yer not serious, are you? That has to be the worst work of fiction ever. In fact it isn't fiction. It's a documentary about the whaling industry.

[jmalter]

Let's try again:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

[geofflambert]

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country, and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Geoff.

Edgar Allen Poe is above all reproach. I shall not sully his name with my sanguinary tracts.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

I will begin this (for real) with what may be the best opening paragraph ever written by mortal man for a work of fiction or fact, but you're just going to have to sit on pins and needles waiting for it.

You're going to get some human to write your opening lines for you? Why not just write the best opening paragraph ever written by a gorn?

(Bilge)Water, (bilge)water, everywhere - nor any drop to drink.
(Bilge)Water,(bilge) water, everywhere and all the (message) boards did shrink (away). [8D]

No need to thank me!

[geofflambert]

[:D][:D][:D]

[witpqs]

...so I should know what I'm doing...

So you say, but as this is The Gorn Supremacy we are already acquainted with The Gorn Identity!

[RogerJNeilson]

Maybe this is the start?

Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were. In her face were too sharply blended the delicate features of her mother, a Coast aristocrat of French descent, and the heavy ones of her florid Irish father. But it was an arresting face, pointed of chin, square of jaw. Her eyes were pale green without a touch of hazel, starred with bristly black lashes and slightly tilted at the ends. Above them, her thick black brows slanted upward, cutting a startling oblique line in her magnolia-white skin — that skin so prized by Southern women and so carefully guarded with bonnets, veils and mittens against hot Georgia suns.....


Roger

[MakeeLearn]

On turn 1 God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness....

On turn 2 ......

[Anachro]

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

Yer not serious, are you? That has to be the worst work of fiction ever. In fact it isn't fiction. It's a documentary about the whaling industry.

I cannot let this stand. It is a work of art with some truly beautiful language...that just happens to be a deep dive into the whaling industry.

[Canoerebel]

I know. I know. All those vested with the authority and knowledge to decide what is literature agree that Moby-Dick is literature. I started reading it assuming that the reading would be transcendent. I didn't expect not to like it. After all, I loved Huckleberry Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird and Great Expectations. But Moby-Dick made me mistrust the judgment of those vested with the authority to deem works of fiction literature.

[Canoerebel]

This AAR didn't even get started before it got hijacked! No boring House Rules. No vows to vigorously slow the Japanese expansion. No reciting of a Pearl Harbor attack with seven damaged battleships that won't be participating in bombardments for a year. We've veered into a master's course in literature!

[BBfanboy]

Thought of another nautical reference for our Gornish Supreme Commander/Chief Cook and Bottle Washer:

"Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold,
And the mate of the Gornish brig,
And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig!"


Apologies to Sir William Schwenck Gilbert:

http://www.victorianweb.org/mt/gilbert/yarn.html