Simpleton Tips #4 and Up

Klinkenhoffen · Post by **Klinkenhoffen** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 2:49 am

Deploy plenty of Anti Aircraft units around your troops to convince your aircraft that they shouldn't really be straffing you.

Capt. Pixel · Post by **Capt. Pixel** » Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:50 pm

Originally posted by Klinkenhoffen
Deploy plenty of Anti Aircraft units around your troops to convince your aircraft that they shouldn't really be straffing you.

That brings up a good point. Why is it that your AA won't fire at your own aircraft, but your aircraft will pound the bejeezus out of your units given half a chance?

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:10 am

There are units that swim and units that don't.

However, units dropped off exploding bridges will not swim no matter what type they are.

Do not park on bridges.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:30 am

Originally posted by Capt. Pixel
That brings up a good point. Why is it that your AA won't fire at your own aircraft, but your aircraft will pound the bejeezus out of your units given half a chance?

Maybe this link might explain it...

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828

Scares the heck out of me!

Capt. Pixel · Post by **Capt. Pixel** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 7:27 am

Originally posted by Bernie
Maybe this link might explain it...

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828

Scares the heck out of me!

Ahhhhh....................... huh?

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 7:56 am

Originally posted by Capt. Pixel
Ahhhhh....................... huh?

Says a lot about the quality of troops in AA units, no?

"Who has the gunners seat today? Goofy or Mickey?"

Belisarius · Post by **Belisarius** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 12:33 am

One would think that they'd at least had some kind of eye exam before signing the dotted line, ne? :p

Also, if your tank breaks down due to rough terrain, careless driving, infantry stuck in tracks etc, make sure that you face a direction away from the enemy in order to make yourself as useless as possible.

This is even more important if you're an assault gun.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 1:47 am

Murphy's Laws of Op-Fires

In any op-fire situation the following rules apply:

1) The unit with the least likely chance of hitting the target will always be selected unless:

a) A closer unit has less chance of actually damaging the target
(ex: Firing at a Tiger an M4 25 hexes away may have a 2% hit chance, but a single crewmember 4 hexes away has the least chance of hurting the Tiger)

b) Another unit has a better chance of damaging your own nearby units.
(ex: A crewmember 4 hexes away can fire at the Tiger, but the Tiger is surrounded by, or in the same hex as, many of your own infantry units. In this case the nearest gun that causes the most splash damage will be selected)

2) Enemy units that are op-fire on and then retreat will always do so in the most damaging direction.
(ex: If a unit has a choice of retreating to 5 empty hexes, or the single hex that contains some of your own forces which have already fired, or are suppressed and unable to move or fire, that is the hex the enemy will move to.)

a) Subsequent op-fires on retreating units will be designed so as to inflict maximum casualties upon your own forces.

Belisarius · Post by **Belisarius** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 2:38 am

Good one Bernie!

Here's an addition to Murphy's law of op-fires;

*) The chance that an enemy unit will score a fatal op-fire is inversely proportional to the number of guns you can bring to bear on said units.

i.e. the less units you have, the more likely it is the enemy will kill whatever you have. :p

TenaciousD · Post by **TenaciousD** » Tue Apr 15, 2003 3:41 am

This is absolutely NOT Red Alert or Command & Conquer

Buzzard45 · Post by **Buzzard45** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 7:43 am

Originally posted by TenaciousD
This is absolutely NOT Red Alert or Command & Conquer

Okay? I'll bite. What IS it?

TenaciousD · Post by **TenaciousD** » Fri Apr 18, 2003 7:05 am

Its not shallow, simple, dependant on mouse dexterity instead of strategy, as big a seller as those (mass market, bite my ***),
a bowl of carrots, really just a 'game'......

Thanks PacMan (bitey bitey bitey)

J_C_Caesar · Post by **J_C_Caesar** » Sat May 17, 2003 3:00 am

Simpleton tip 31

When assualting enemy units with 2k artillery support, 2k mines on a narrow front, 3k tiger tanks on well sited hills, 6k dug in infantry with pill boxs, staring up at 1k worth of air support and all you have is a handfull of rusty M4's and a short company of French riflemen

Remember the only support units you need is a Bible and a roll of toliet paper, cause your gonna need a pray in hell, and something to clean up the enviromental damage your about to inflict on the landscape.

War is hell when your losing and glorious when your winning. If you not sure whether your winning or losing, get drunk!!

mogami · Post by **mogami** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 8:12 am

2) Enemy units that are op-fire on and then retreat will always do so in the most damaging direction.
(ex: If a unit has a choice of retreating to 5 empty hexes, or the single hex that contains some of your own forces which have already fired, or are suppressed and unable to move or fire, that is the hex the enemy will move to.)

Hi, Have they changed the rules? In mine a unit that has no retreat hex that does not move them out of contact surrenders.

AbsntMndedProf · Post by **AbsntMndedProf** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:45 pm

Placing onboard atty without having some method of transport nearby is just giving your opponent victory points.

Eric Maietta

AbsntMndedProf · Post by **AbsntMndedProf** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 6:47 pm

Italian units do very well up until when they enter combat.

:D

Eric Maietta

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 1:39 am

When playing Italians vs French it doesn't matter where you put your start lines. Neither side will cross them anyway.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 1:47 am

During the deployment phase make sure to deploy all of your units directly adjacent to the "exit" hex.

At the start of turn one, immediately move all of your units to the exit hex and off the board. Note, there's still a chance that the exit hex itself may be mined, so this method is not 100%.

Or

At the start of turn one, BEFORE MOVING ANY UNIT, press the F9 key. Note, there is still the posibility the F9 key might be mined, and cause you a severe hangnail when it detonates.

AbsntMndedProf · Post by **AbsntMndedProf** » Tue Jul 08, 2003 2:20 am

If you play the Italians going up against U.S. or Soviet armor, make sure that all your Italian AFV crews are wearing fresh adult diapers. (Against the British, it's a crap shoot. No pun intended.):D:D

Eric Maietta

AbsntMndedProf · Post by **AbsntMndedProf** » Sun Jul 13, 2003 4:38 am

1. Always bunch your foot units in as few hexes as possible, so they can provide moral support for each other when the going gets tough.

2. When your AFVs spot an enemy AFV, AT gun, or infantry AT unit, have them swivel their vehicle's rear towards the enemy. This will show them the derision they deserve!

3. When assaulting a well prepared and defended position, don't bother with smoke. This will only make it harder for your troops and AFVs to score kills from long-range. This especially holds true if your enemy has bunkers/fortifications facing you.

4. If your opponent starts dropping atty rounds in an area occupied by your troops, stand your ground! In this way, your units will build the self-confidence and courage to go through shot and shell to victory!

5. If your troops have satchel charges, gasoline bombs, TNT, or any other large explosive devices, use them up as quickly as possible. Nothing makes a person feel anxious like having a big bomb in their backpack.

6. Anti-aircraft defenses are for sissies! Buy lots of ACs instead.

7. Your HQ should stay waaaaay out front, so that it can keep up on what is happening in the battle. Don't be afraid of having your HQ attack big, heavy AFVs. That's what their good at!

8. If in doubt, charge forward! It may just stun your opponent's units into retreating!

:D

Eric Maietta

Simpleton Tips #4 and Up

Simpleton tip 30

Re: Simpleton tip 30

Re: Re: Simpleton tip 30

Re: Re: Re: Simpleton tip 30

Re: Re: Re: Re: Simpleton tip 30

Murphy's Laws of Op-Fires

???

Simpleton tip 31

retreat

How to avoid 99.99% of all mines in a Wild Bill scenario

[I]Tips your PBEM opponent would want you to have:[/I]