A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Day Time Surface Combat, near Efate at 120,155, Range 25,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CV Hiryu, Shell hits 1
CV Soryu, Shell hits 1
CV Shokaku
CV Zuikaku, Shell hits 7, heavy fires
CA Tone
CA Chikuma
CA Myoko
DD Akigumo
DD Hamakaze
DD Tanikaze, Shell hits 1
DD Arare
DD Kasumi

Allied Ships
CA Houston, Shell hits 4, on fire
DD Electra, Shell hits 1, on fire

Maximum visibility in Clear Conditions: 30,000 yards
CONTACT: Allied lookouts spot Japanese task force at 25,000 yards
Allies open fire on surprised Japanese ships at 25,000 yards
CA Houston fires at CV Zuikaku at 25,000 yards
CA Houston fires at DD Tanikaze at 25,000 yards
Range closes to 24,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 24,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Soryu at 24,000 yards
CA Houston engages CA Myoko at 24,000 yards
Range closes to 22,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 22,000 yards
CA Myoko engages CA Houston at 22,000 yards
CA Houston engages DD Tanikaze at 22,000 yards
Range closes to 19,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 19,000 yards
CA Chikuma engages CA Houston at 19,000 yards
Range closes to 15,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 15,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Shokaku at 15,000 yards
CA Myoko engages CA Houston at 15,000 yards
DD Electra engages DD Tanikaze at 15,000 yards
Range closes to 12,000 yards
DD Tanikaze engages DD Electra at 12,000 yards
Range closes to 9,000 yards
Ammo storage explosion on CV Zuikaku[X(][X(]...

OK, stop tape! Mandrake-san not watch anymore. Hit rittah button to skip arr of crap. Take dogs on wark to take creansing breaths and get rid of accidentar extra air at othah end. Enjoy sun and even pires of raccoon scat on trair...Mandrake-san at one with nature...then come back in and watch rest.


CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 9,000 yards
DD Tanikaze engages DD Electra at 9,000 yards
DD Arare engages DD Electra at 9,000 yards
Range increases to 11,000 yards
DD Electra engages CV Zuikaku at 11,000 yards
CA Chikuma engages CA Houston at 11,000 yards
DD Hamakaze engages DD Electra at 11,000 yards
Range increases to 14,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 14,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Shokaku at 14,000 yards
DD Hamakaze engages DD Electra at 14,000 yards
Range increases to 17,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Zuikaku at 17,000 yards
DD Electra engages DD Hamakaze at 17,000 yards
CA Houston engages CV Hiryu at 17,000 yards
CA Myoko engages CA Houston at 17,000 yards
Task forces break off...

[Cap Mandrake]

Nagumo turns into wind and try to get even. 2 squadrons without torps.
Where are rest of pranes from remaining 3 carriers? Probabry Japn-mens running around rike chicken with no heads.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Efate at 120,154

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 12 NM, estimated altitude 16,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 4 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 34
B5N2 Kate x 28

Japanese aircraft losses
B5N2 Kate: 1 damaged

Allied Ships
CA Houston, Bomb hits 2, heavy fires
DD Electra, on fire

Aircraft Attacking:
13 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 11000 feet
Naval Attack: 2 x 250 kg SAP Bomb

[Cap Mandrake]

Actuarry, Arried-mens transports at Rugnavirre. Rook rike arready get off ships. One squadron of Vars not-ah find CA.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Luganville at 120,150

Weather in hex: Clear sky

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 11
D3A1 Val x 9

No Japanese losses

Allied Ships
xAP Morinda, Bomb hits 2, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAKL Kindur, Bomb hits 3, heavy fires, heavy damage

[Cap Mandrake]

Houston escape destruction by creverry hiding in own smoke.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Efate at 120,154

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 14 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 35
B5N2 Kate x 13
D3A1 Val x 15

Japanese aircraft losses
D3A1 Val: 2 damaged

Allied Ships
CA Houston, heavy fires, heavy damage
DD Electra, Bomb hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Aboard Chokai, 4 nm S of Efate, 43 nm E of carriers********

Cpt. Ichimiya: <on roudspeaker> Now, if you notice beautifurh red frowers on hirrside, those are bouganvirra pranted by French-mens missionaires..<loud booms in background>..huh, sound rike thunderstorm coming...

[Cap Mandrake]

When get back from wark...Mandrake-san have to suffer through combat reports..."Lt. Ashigara have trip and farr injury at Takao..Soup aboard San Jose Maru have ord fish heads so everyone throw up for 3 hours..."


That kind of thing. Meanwhire, Mandrake-san say to serf, "Hory crap, SPrior-san going to kirr Mandrake-san"..finarry..map come back on and Mandrake-san crose eyes and push button to rook at KB....

Whew...not so bad. Fires onry rever 3. Pranes OK. Back to Truk for system damage then a trip to Sasebo for the hull damage. [&o] Arried-mens might even assume she is sunk.

[Chickenboy]

It ah rook rike rookout kirred in the Arried sarvo? Bad joss!

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Houston escape destruction by creverry hiding in own smoke.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Efate at 120,154

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 14 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 35
B5N2 Kate x 13
D3A1 Val x 15

Japanese aircraft losses
D3A1 Val: 2 damaged

Allied Ships
CA Houston, heavy fires, heavy damage
DD Electra, Bomb hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage

Captain of CA Houston : "Okay Sigs, send this message to Electra:"

ANOTHER RAID 14NM OUT.
LUCKILY WE DO NOT NEED TO BE ABLE TO HIDE COMPLETELY, JUST HIDE BETTER THAN YOU! HA HA!
LOTSA LUCK!

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Forward rookout station, Zuikaku, 08:05***********


Aburh Seaman Sanyo: Hey, Hiroki see one coming!

Aburh Seaman Sony: Impossiburh, too fast.

Aburh Seaman Sanyo: No, rearry. Gonna be rearry, rearry cr.. WHOOOOOSH

[Cap Mandrake]

**********Aboard E-boat Saga, Singpaore Harbour, 13nm from Bugis St*******


Seaman Second Crass Aran Hata Sr.: <dumping trash ovah side> Hey, guys, rook, anothah of those pointy th..BOOOOOM

[Cap Mandrake]

China: OK, this-ah rearry row. America-mens with beards and drink rots of whiskey shoot down peach fuzz teenagers in crappy Sonias. Broody war crime if ask Mandrake-san. Japan-mens find out where at and send in Zero-pranes again.

Morning Air attack on 34th Chinese Corps, at 87,41 , near Tsiaotso

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-51 Sonia x 70

Allied aircraft
H81-A3 x 5

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-51 Sonia: 7 destroyed, 3 damaged

No Allied losses

[Cap Mandrake]

Suva: Arried-mens not-ah give up but Japan-mens break arr of pirrboxes.

Ground combat at Suva (132,160)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 13173 troops, 106 guns, 82 vehicles, Assault Value = 351

Defending force 7892 troops, 117 guns, 100 vehicles, Assault Value = 84

Japanese adjusted assault: 155

Allied adjusted defense: 115

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 1 (fort level 1)

Japanese Assault reduces fortifications to 0

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
339 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 27 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 12 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Vehicles lost 43 (28 destroyed, 15 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
202 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 46 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 5 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled

Assaulting units:
8th Tank Regiment
51st Naval Guard Unit
52nd Naval Guard Unit
146th Infantry Regiment
144th Infantry Regiment
53rd Naval Guard Unit
15th Base Force

Defending units:
8th NZ Brigade
1st RNZAF Base Force
148th Field Artillery Battalion
45th Base Group
131st Field Artillery Battalion
147th Field Artillery Battalion
260th Field Artillery Battalion
Nandi Base Force

[Cap Mandrake]

***************Pranning**************

Zuikaku obviousry out of fight. Hiryu have 11% system damage so can stirr fight for a few days. With addition of Kaga, Japan-mens wirr have 4 carriers for Operation Tarrurah.

Mandrake-san prefer not to cansurh operation because Mavis pirots spot 2 ships right off Rord Howe, which is atorr. If Arried mens get Austrarian briagde ashore there need division to take prace. Rord Howe randing force moving at good pace, arready off Buin and moving SSE.

La Foa in Japan-mens hands. Miura Detach now move on Noumea which can then be used for navarh support base for Rord Howe operation.

Perhaps CA/DD force at Koumac can move earry on Rord Howe and stop any randing there by Arried-mens?

Mandrake-san suspect seaprane base at Ruganvirre but evidentry Arried-mens have more ambitious prans. Ruganvirre not immediate threat othah than recon acitivity.

Akagi rikery ready to go at Truk in 1-2 d.

[Cap Mandrake]

Tentative pran designed to ignore deficiencies and risks and keep going irrationarry.

[Cap Mandrake]

"Zuikaka" [:D][:D]

More rike Zuicaca now. [:D]

[zuluhour]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Tentative pran designed to ignore deficiencies and risks and keep going irrationarry.

This ah redicurrus aar. Zulu san ahrmost spot.

[durnedwolf]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Tentative pran designed to ignore deficiencies and risks and keep going irrationarry.

This ah redicurrus aar. Zulu san ahrmost spot.

Someone gunna need doktor...

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Seaside Virra, Truk Ragoon*********

Mandrake-san: OK, what-a everyone think about Attack-ah pran E <pulls back curtain to revear map>

Attracative young Truk Ragoon-womans with rarge breastesses for area and name not-ah reveared so Disney not stear again:<begins snickering>

Mandrake-san: What-ah wrong with peopurh? This--ah not Haha-jima?

Jimmy "too tarr": Sorry boss...haha...map remind Jimmy "too tarr" of rast time go to geisha house...haha.

Mandrake-san: <turns to rook at map...after 20 seconds put-ah hands ovah face...rike face parm> Taaah...everyone rike childrens here.

[Cap Mandrake]

Son of Mandrake-san vorunteer as defensive back coach for mostry Hispanic high schoorh. For first time in 25 years Saints make CIF pray-offs so Mandrake-san go to watch first pray-off game against schoorh in rich area.

Mandrake-san warking to stadium and notice cheerreaders from rich school 1 foot tarrer than cheereaders from othah schoor. Mandrake-san say.."Ut-oh". Sure enough when othah schoorh come on fierd have brand new uniforms, every receiver rike 6 2, quarterback even tarrer. Then, Mandrake-san see rinemen from poor schoorh..rook rike 1st Mayan Right Infantry.

Hory crap! Then game start. [X(] Even worse than rook. Rinebackers on rich team fastah than crap! Rich team have fancy prays..keep changing formations..running back fastah than crap too! Then quarterback start running and even fastah.

Santa Maria! It-ah 44-0 aftah first quarter. [X(] Refs have mercy and keep crock running to minimize injuries but stir rook 1st Mayan Right Infantry vs. Cortez

[Cap Mandrake]

Arried-mens send radio message to Japan-mens and aporogize for browing up Zuikaku.[:D]