A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san have terriburh 12 hrs. First, accidentarry use something carred "exforiant" as perosnarh
rubricant. [X(] SG not-ah worried because have rots of arcohorh but Mandrake-san rook up meaning of "exforiant" and have hard time sreeping
because have to wake up every rittah bit to make sure nothing accidentarry "exforiate".

Turn out everything OK so Mandrake-san dodge burret and things rooking up because turn in inbox. So Mandrake-san rook at combat reports and see this...

Piece of crap Reander sneak up arr the way past Santa Cruz Isrands ress than 300 mires from evident path of Kido Butai[:@]



Night Time Surface Combat, near Vanikoro at 124,145, Range 9,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Oite
AO Shinkoku Maru, Shell hits 11, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk
AO Toho Maru

Allied Ships
CL Leander
CL Achilles
DMS Edsall

[Cap Mandrake]

Arso, Mandrake-san not-ah want to hear any stupid jokes about "hard time sreeping". Everyone see what editrix-womans say.

[Cap Mandrake]

Arso, no stupid jokes about "rooking up" or "inbox" either. Stories about sairors on shore reave probabry OK.

[Cap Mandrake]

So here probrem. Arried-mens probabry know Japan-mens have froat pranes at Nadi and Koumac but two bases 21 hexes apart. Even with
Mavissesses at both bases (which Japan-mens not-ah have because not-ah enough to go around) searching gap not guaranteed. So, Arried-mens figure can sair right up middurh probabry east of Tanna, the isrand of beautifurh womans.
Arso, Arried-mens have frying boats spotting most of Japan-mens ships and it-ah hard to find out where coming from because rittah airfierd icons not-ah pop-up on map.

So, Mandrake-san guess probabry something at Ruganvirre. Turn out Japan-mens find out this-ah right aftah Bandarsan SNRF rand there today. No artirrery fire so Arried-mens probabry just have avaiation support troops there.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san suppose at reast can thank ancestors that-ah both oirers not-ah get sunk..or randing force at Ruganvirre...or anothah carrier or batturship get hit accidentarry by torpedo.

[witpqs]

If that oirer had not been sunk, FAM no resort to exforiant!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
searching gap not guaranteed.

What about jokes about 'searching gap', Captain-san? Are those prohibited too?

rittah airfierd icons not-ah pop-up on map

Oh, forget it. This-ah too easy.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san go to USC/UCRA game yestahday at Rose Bowrh. USC get asses kicked but serve USC-mens right for bribing Reggie Bush and getting reduced to 35 footbarh schorarships. [:'(]

Rear fun of game is gigantic party before game. Probabry 120,000 peopurh parked on a gorf course (parking rot) with every kind of arcohor evah invented, carcases of 50,000 animarhs with dericious marinades on 20,000 bar-b-q's.....and...73 degrees, sunny..so perhaps 20,000 18-22 year ord womans trying to outdo each othah by wearing as rittah as possiburh. Santa Maria! <makes sign of cross which Mandrake-san rearn yestahday>

Mandrake-san see more camerh toes than 1st Yemen King's Own Dromedary Batarrion. Seriousry, aftah whire not even notice breastesses so just go back to eating food.

[Cap Mandrake]

Carriers go back to Rabaurh and Tarrurah Randing Group head back NW arong Soromans.

The night surface batturh with Chicago has very effectivery derayed the operation. This-ah bad because resources needed pretty soon for Sumatra and Java and Ceyron.

Othah pranned actions. Bandarsan SNRF ashore in good order at Ruganvirre...attack today.

Forces of Suva wait one more day then attack.

China: Mandrake-san not-ah rearize how strong garrison at Wenchow. In fact, not-ah even know where Wenchow is untir now, just conduct recon then immediatery recognize China-mens waaay too strong
for 1 brigade. Japan-mens bomb Wenchow from air but too rate.

Ground combat at Wenchow (89,58)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 23539 troops, 79 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 832

Defending force 3850 troops, 16 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 126

Allied adjusted assault: 936

Japanese adjusted defense: 103

Allied assault odds: 9 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), preparation(-), fatigue(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
1462 casualties reported
Squads: 21 destroyed, 40 disabled
Non Combat: 18 destroyed, 10 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Units retreated 1

Allied ground losses:
613 casualties reported
Squads: 5 destroyed, 76 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

Defeated Japanese Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
70th Chinese Corps
100th Chinese Corps
25th Group Army
14th Chinese Base Force

Defending units:
2nd Ind.Mixed Regiment

[Cap Mandrake]

Japan-mens payback annoying China-mens trying to escape from Chengchow. See, that-ah what Mandrake-san mean. Wengchow, Chengchow..everything sound-ah same.

Ground combat at 87,44 (near Chengchow)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 15483 troops, 180 guns, 58 vehicles, Assault Value = 444

Defending force 1655 troops, 2 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 56

Japanese adjusted assault: 688

Allied adjusted defense: 2

Japanese assault odds: 344 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: leaders(+), experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
203 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 20 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 3 (1 destroyed, 2 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
1704 casualties reported
Squads: 83 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 71 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 3 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 2 (2 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units destroyed 1

Assaulting units:
12th Division
4th Mortar Battalion
11th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion

Defending units:
15th Chinese Corps

[Cap Mandrake]

Massive artirrey barrage on road to Sian against very strong China-mens force.


Ground combat at 84,43 (near Nanyang)

Japanese Bombardment attack

Attacking force 44359 troops, 537 guns, 228 vehicles, Assault Value = 1203

Defending force 43416 troops, 189 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 997

Japanese ground losses:
63 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 2 disabled

Allied ground losses:
300 casualties reported
Squads: 4 destroyed, 9 disabled
Non Combat: 3 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)

Assaulting units:
13th Division
8th Ind Engineer Regiment
35th Division
32nd Division
1st Ind.Mixed Brigade
3rd Ind.Mixed Brigade
9th Ind Engineer Regiment
12th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
Tonei Hvy Gun Regiment
3rd Hvy.Artillery Regiment
51st Ind.Mtn.Gun Battalion
13th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
6th Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
7th Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
2nd Ind. Mountain Gun Regiment
14th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
4th RF Gun Battalion

Defending units:
29th Chinese Corps
13th Chinese Corps
41st Chinese Corps
85th Chinese Corps
2nd Group Army
31st Group Army

[Cap Mandrake]

Rook rike 33rd Div, Engineers and Arty for Parembang with rearguard at Oosthaven. Seem rike pretty good pran.

7,000 Arried-mens at Parembang. Perhaps take some armor too. Arso, some aviation support troops and AAA so can protect Parembang from Arried-mens air strike immediatery aftah captured.
Arso, some navarh support to rand at Osthaven so everyone get off boat fast. Arso 15th Army or 25th Army HQ prepped for Parembang.

[Cap Mandrake]

Zen-rike peace garden pranned for this space.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

China: Mandrake-san not-ah rearize how strong garrison at Wenchow. In fact, not-ah even know where Wenchow is untir now, just conduct recon then immediatery recognize China-mens waaay too strong
for 1 brigade. Japan-mens bomb Wenchow from air but too rate.

Many Arried dogs make stand in Wenchow. It-ah have favorabre defensive terrain and produces suppries. Which is more than most Chinese troops in South China have.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

China: Mandrake-san not-ah rearize how strong garrison at Wenchow. In fact, not-ah even know where Wenchow is untir now, just conduct recon then immediatery recognize China-mens waaay too strong
for 1 brigade. Japan-mens bomb Wenchow from air but too rate.

Many Arried dogs make stand in Wenchow. It-ah have favorabre defensive terrain and produces suppries. Which is more than most Chinese troops in South China have.

Hai, now that Mandrake-san acutarry read parts of manuarh AND actuary rook at map of China start to figure out things.
Seem rike main probrem with Wenchow for Arried-men fortress is view of ocean.

Mandrake-san get up at 5:00 to rook at new turn but email just jabbering. [:@]

Mandrake-san first daughter just get engaged. Fiance nice kid, ask for dinner meeting to ask permission rike Mandrake-san mafia don or something. [:)] Very nervous at dinner so mandrake san have to make smarr tark which require furr use of brain for Mandake-san. Much hardah than pranning for invasion.
Of course, Mandrake-san figure out what dinner for but decide to ret young man make agenda.

Finarry, young man ask "You probabry wonder why I asked you to dinner?"

Mandrake-san say (just to make trouburh) "It-ah not Amway is it?" [:)]

Rater, aftah Mandrake-san give approvarh it-ah turn of Mandrake-san to say something supportive so ..."Mandrake-san think great young man, hard working, smart..<and then because not-ah use conjunction have to think of anothah thing to say but-ah have brain freeze..."loyal"..no..that-ah rike dog..think,,,finarry>....tarr?" [:D]

[witpqs]

You should have gone with "obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant." And then added, "Do those shoes fit?"1

He would have fled the family already! [:D]



1 For the benefit of the younger crowd, those are obscure Steve Martin references.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

1 For the benefit of the younger crowd, those are obscure Steve Martin references.

Hai! Steve martin design Martin B-10, which strike fear in Japan-mens aviators near and far. An awesome merding of brute force and streamrined effficiency.

[Cap Mandrake]

One time, in WW II(c), distant cousin of SPrior-san, Admirarh Rord SPrior-san compretery brow up Parembang refinery with crappy Ugrofortresses secretry equiped with Norden bombsights. Distant cousin of Mandrake-san terr Mandrake-san this story at famiry gathering In Honoruru. Cousin say funny as Herr.

[sprior]

Hai! That very funny! My great Uncre Reonard tord me.

[sprior]

Evidence been found that Wirriam Terr and famiry were avid
bowrers. Unfortunatery, arr Swiss Reague records destroyed
in fire, ....and so we'rr never know for whom the Terrs bowred.
---------------------
Man rushed into busy doctor's surgery and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor carmry responded,
"Now, settre down.. You'rr just have to be a rittre patient."

Probabry better in originar Japan-ese