Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Kwik E Mart]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy
And if there were Ostogoths, where were the Fleshogoths?

What are you, kidding? Everyone knows where the Fleshogoths were (and still are ):





I have it on good authority that most of these Fleshogoths are undercover as college administrators.

...nothing creepier than a zombie that used to be a smokin' hot cougar...[X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

Liz H's worst day.

I will be cleaning the refrigerators in the kitchen today, please remove and take home items that you want or label appropriately by 3:45pm.





Thank you

Liz H

She sends this to "All"...probably thousands. [:D][:D][:D]

Then a dozen retards hit "reply all" asking her if she is coming over to do theirs too. [:D][:D]

Then some of the big bosses type back "STOP REPLYING TO ALL" ...about 5 times while hitting "Reply All"

[:D][:D]

Email is a dangerous thing.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Liz H's worst day.

I will be cleaning the refrigerators in the kitchen today, please remove and take home items that you want or label appropriately by 3:45pm.





Thank you

Liz H

She sends this to "All"...probably thousands. [:D][:D][:D]

Then a dozen retards hit "reply all" asking her if she is coming over to do theirs too. [:D][:D]

Then some of the big bosses type back "STOP REPLYING TO ALL" ...about 5 times while hitting "Reply All"

[:D][:D]

Email is a dangerous thing.

Did anyone take home items they wanted, but did not belong to them - and say "But Liz said I could!"?

[Justus2]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Liz H's worst day.

I will be cleaning the refrigerators in the kitchen today, please remove and take home items that you want or label appropriately by 3:45pm.





Thank you

Liz H

We went through the refrigerator cleaning in our office a few weeks ago. Two brave souls volunteered to do it over a weekend, but they were kind enough to email pictures of some of the more 'interesting' and colorful finds to the entire office (amazing what happens to yogurt and cheese over several months).

Of course, I am waiting any day now for one of them to file a worker's comp claim due to contracting some illness from the process.

[crsutton]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am watching this thing on the Franks (the people not Ann's family) and I was intrigued by all their battles with the Goths...the Ostrogoths....the Visigoths..and it occurs to me you never hear about the Invisigoths. It's like they disappeared.


Same deal on Pliny Jr. Pliny the Elder gets all the press. There must be a Pliny Jr. if there is a need to specify Pliny the Elder. History is wierd, eh? Maybe the Invisigoths were big news in AD 620(c)?

Most aggressive and feared of the nomadic raiders were the Vandals. Don't know how many times they left bags of burning dog poo on doorsteps but it was enough that we remember them even today.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Monastery of Prum, AD 794(c)**********


<A loud banging is heard on the monastery door. After a short while a tonsured man in monastic garb answers the door, spies a burning sack of burlap. Fearing for his safety and that of his fellow monks he stomps hard on the burning sack.....SPLAAAAAAT!>

Pepin the Hunchback (tonsured): <raises fist and shouts> BY ODIN! I'LL GET YOU VANDALS! I AM JUST WEARING SANDALS...AND NO SOCKS EITHER...SKIT*!"

Vandals (with long hair): Try and catch us hunchy <derisive laughter>

Authoritarian voice from inside the Monastery: BROTHER PEPIN!



*The latter is left untranslated from the Frankish in order to avoid website censorship. Translated roughly it means the "effluent of the bowels". Fankly [:)], Pepin the Hunchback never really adapted well to monastic life. He wanted to be a warrior-king but, frankly [:D], he wasn't very good at that either.

[Cap Mandrake]

Recent losses of previously buoyant machines





One of our damaged DD's sank when her pumps failed. On the combat replay she was identified as USS Fletcher but as USS Barton on the intelligence report. Do our own guys lie to us too?

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Later that evening, Prum Monastery**********


Brother Merovich: Father, may I speak?

Fater Taga: Yes, Brother Merovich.

Brother Merovich: Well, I just wanted to say that the gruel tonight was superb. Just the right hint of fungus. Also, I have an announcement <pauses deferentially>....I've been doing some geneaology. It seems I am related to Charlemagne <actually claps his hands in excitement>

Brother Pepin: Big whoopie.

[Cap Mandrake]

Situation, Luzon et environs.

[Cap Mandrake]

JJ unleashed a torrent of unescorted bombers over Chungking, trying to destroy our big noodle factory.

Our little yellow bastards shot down large numbers of their little yellow bastards. We refer you to the Lilly losses. Some of the Chinese pilots are still early in training.

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Chinese Air Force Training Center, Chungking************


<A large number of pilot-trainees stand at attention in BVD's>

Captain Mu-Shoo: Not that we all drink 1 garron tea, we stand here for 30 minutes and hord it.

Cadet Paper-wrapped Chicken: Uhhhhhh...ahhhh.


Captain Mu-Shoo: Cadet, you wash out. You infantry.

[Cap Mandrake]

2nd Lt. Hsieh has 479 missions and he is still a 2nd Lt. Even if he hasn't shot anything down you would think he would make 1st Lt just on seniority. He was probably flying a Russian biplane for most of the missions.

[Cap Mandrake]

Also pretty funny that I suggested ALSP convert to P-40E's and the day after we do (or maybe a couple of days..not really sure) they bomb the airfield and we are still gluing on the wings and stuff. [:D][:D]

Honestly, it's hard to generate enthusiasm for the Chinese theater. The only important thing is that hundreds of thousands of experience 90+ Japanese troops don't find free time on their hands. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

The BB's. North Carolina and Massachusetts need dock time but no dry dock after their unispired fight with Kirishima. Weeks to a month I would guess.


Washington has some problem with B turret. The union boss in Darwin claims they need 3 days more. Something about seniority.

South Dakota has been clawed back from artificial reef status. She is still at San Jose. She needs about 9 days more then she can start the long trip back to California.

Colorado just left LA. Maryland just left Alameda. I think PoW is at Colombo but she is going to be out a while. Resolution just left Perth for Diego Garcia.

There are 3 BB's at Pearl that should be ready in time for the H-bomb test at Bikini Atoll. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

The USN has only 3 CA's left. I wonder how that happened? [X(]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The USN has only 3 CA's left. I wonder how that happened? [X(]

Lemme guess...staff flunkie?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The USN has only 3 CA's left. I wonder how that happened? [X(]

Lemme guess...staff flunkie?

Yes, there is that. There was also the battle for New Scotland.

[Cap Mandrake]

Not too many WJD CA's left either.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********April 20, 1943(c)**********

60 fighters disappeared from Rangoon. Where could they have gone?


PI: A couple of undamaged (or lightly so) DD's from yesterday's fight at Iba. Probably escorting Kuma.

Sub attack near Laoag at 80,71

Japanese Ships
DD Hagikaze
DD Harusame

Allied Ships
SS Tinosa

The crew of USS Helm has their "funnest" night ever.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Aparri at 82,73, Range 6,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Choun Maru #8
xAK Kinsyu Maru
xAK Taibun Maru
xAK Aki Maru
xAKL Daigen Maru, Shell hits 3, and is sunk
xAK Nissho Maru, Shell hits 2
xAK Sangetsu Maru, Shell hits 8, heavy fires
xAK Taigen Maru, Shell hits 3, on fire
xAK Yosida Maru #3, Shell hits 10, heavy fires, heavy damage
PB Kinsyo Maru #4, Shell hits 14, heavy fires, heavy damage

Allied Ships
DD Helm, Shell hits 1

The sun comes up and we find out where some of the fightrs went. Huge escort in raid over Iba, targeted either our transports or the St. Louis group.

Carriers are standing off to the West to provide CAP.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Iba at 78,75

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 69 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 24 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 60
G4M1 Betty x 8
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 14

Allied aircraft
Martlet II x 4
Spitfire Vc Trop x 12
Hurricane XIIb x 11
P-39D Airacobra x 24
P-40B Warhawk x 8
P-40E Warhawk x 3
F4F-4 Wildcat x 16
F4U-1 Corsair x 28
F6F-3 Hellcat x 10

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 16 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 3 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
Hurricane XIIb: 1 destroyed
P-40E Warhawk: 1 destroyed

I hope these guys wrote home to their mom's like the CO suggested.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Batangas at 79,78

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 71 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 22 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 3

Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 2
Hurricane XIIb x 1
P-38G Lightning x 4
P-39D Airacobra x 8
P-40B Warhawk x 4
P-40E Warhawk x 4
F4F-4 Wildcat x 8
F4U-1 Corsair x 8
F6F-3 Hellcat x 2

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 2 destroyed

No Allied losses

Same with these boys.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Batangas at 79,78

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 107 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 34 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 21

Allied aircraft
Martlet II x 1
Spitfire Vc Trop x 2
Hurricane XIIb x 5
P-38G Lightning x 3
P-39D Airacobra x 12
P-40B Warhawk x 4
P-40E Warhawk x 4
F4F-4 Wildcat x 4
F4U-1 Corsair x 13
F6F-3 Hellcat x 1

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 12 destroyed, 1 damaged
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 1 destroyed by flak

No Allied losses

Allied Ships
CLAA Juneau
xAP Mataroa

[Cap Mandrake]

Crearry, Imperial high command is having some trouble with fighters. So are we, but that is why they are having trouble.