A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Near Funafuti..wait...Funafuti...are you sure..all the way up there:

<face parm>

AFTER ACTION REPORTS FOR Jan 16, 42
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Night Time Surface Combat, near Funafuti at 143,146, Range 4,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Keijo Maru
xAK Seattle Maru, Shell hits 1
xAK Myoko Maru, Shell hits 5, heavy fires
xAK Shinanogawa Maru, Shell hits 11, heavy fires, heavy damage

Allied Ships
CA Indianapolis
CL Honolulu
DD Fox
DD Brooks

[Chickenboy]

Smooth move-ah ex-rax.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Hai! Ask Chickenboy-san if remember when 2 Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night and sink 5 crappy Arried-mens CVE's. [:'(]

Ries! Arr ries!

It-ah three Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night. Onry sank three crappy Arried-men's CVEs. Other two burning pretty good though.

[Cap Mandrake]

**************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)**********


Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: After actions reports from January 17, boss <sets down reports and rarge jar whire bending over gratuituiousry..ah..gratuiostary...ah nevah mind..what-ah trying to say easy to see breastesses even though breastesses not-ah rearry important..wait..that-ah not right either..not-ah mean to say breastesses not important just
that-ah not rearry necessary for womans to show off breastesses when derivering aftah action reports..even so, probabry nobody comprain because take mind off war>


Mandrake-san: What-ah in jar?

Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: Ass balm, sir.

Mandrake-san: Ass barm? What-ah Mandrake-san need ass barm for?

Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: You'll see soon enough.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Hai! Ask Chickenboy-san if remember when 2 Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night and sink 5 crappy Arried-mens CVE's. [:'(]

Ries! Arr ries!

It-ah three Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night. Onry sank three crappy Arried-men's CVEs. Other two burning pretty good though.

Fog of war. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Disco Duck
Maybe this book is worthwhile.
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014 ... irst-SEALs

Have to be more cerebrar activity. Mistah Peck hurt back taking dance ressons from Martha Graham. Dance ressons...hahahahah.

Arried-mens think Mandrake-san make up?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Peck

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)**********

Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: You'll see soon enough.

It wirr sting quite badry

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)**********

Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: You'll see soon enough.

It wirr sting quite badry

Hai! Mandrake-san armost start crying rike womans. Onry years of bushido crasses stop Mandrake-san from mert-down.

[Cap Mandrake]

**************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c), rittah bit ratah**********

Mandrake-san standing up at desk, rittah bit bent ovah: Hory crap! Arried-navy-mens arways show up in middurh of ocean at night in same prace as Japan-mens. It-ah rike using steroids and Adderar so not-ah farr asreep. Get-ah quack doctor in here. Japan-mens need same **** to make fair.

[Cap Mandrake]

Berep Isrands (near Koumac if you not-ah study geography but spend time rooking at breastesses in junior high: So, Japan-mens unroading at
Ra Foa on 16th and see Arried-mesn ships coming. Obviousry can't stay at Ra Foa and can't disband because 1000 engineers stirr on ships. Bettah not go to Koumac..that-ah too obvious.
Bettah to stop unroading and prot course to NW so no coastwatchers see Japan-mens.
Prus Japan-mens send TWO SCTF to covah transports and smarr force of E boats at Koumac.
Transports at Koumac disband so not-ah get brown up. Mandrake-san expect eithah Arried-mens head to Ra Foa or perhaps night intercept where Japan-mens practice a rot and have bettah chance to use Rong Rances.

[:-] When Mandrake-san see sirhouette of Austraria next to sheep in dayright accidentarry suck in air again then hit escape button 20 times so not-ah have to watch...but just go on and on.
5:30 in morning and Mandrake-san yerr out..."Where is ******* Maya?"[:(]

Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 25,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
E Hashidate, Shell hits 8, and is sunk
E Uji, Shell hits 1
DMS W-10, Shell hits 19, and is sunk
DMS W-18, Shell hits 5, and is sunk
PB Okuyo Maru #2, Shell hits 2
PB Suyozai Maru, Shell hits 25, heavy fires, heavy damage
PB Toko Maru #4, Shell hits 20, and is sunk
xAK Arizona Maru, Shell hits 15, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Azuma Maru, Shell hits 11, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk
xAP Tsingtao Maru, Shell hits 14, and is sunk
xAP Taizan Maru, Shell hits 35, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CA Australia, Shell hits 5
DD Downes
DD MacDonough, Shell hits 1
DD John D. Edwards
DD Stuart, Shell hits 1

Japanese ground losses:
1071 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 76 destroyed, 103 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 6 (3 destroyed, 3 disabled)

[Cap Mandrake]

Uji and a PB survive (for now) and pick up about 150 survivors.
True rosses among ground troops about 900. It-ah comprete prison rape.*





*Edited to correct sperring or "rosses"

[Cap Mandrake]

In retrospect bettah to go SE around tip of New and Improved Caredonia and come up on othah side. Of course, retrospectoscope arways 20./20.

[Cap Mandrake]

Adm Moizumi hear rots of roud noises so go ovah to see what hahppen. Rittah rate...*** ****.
Yura and Tenryu not-ah good as Concord but DD's perfectry competent. Moizumi crosses the T and fighting starts at 15,000 yds. Maybe Japan-mens make mistake buying gun directors from M&&M Enterprises.
[:@]

Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 111,157, Range 15,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CL Yura
CL Tenryu, Shell hits 4, heavy fires
DD Hagikaze, Shell hits 3, on fire
DD Umikaze
DD Kisaragi, Shell hits 2, heavy fires

Allied Ships
CL Concord
DD Cassin
DD Selfridge, Shell hits 1, heavy fires
DD Phelps
DD Le Triomphant

Maximum visibility in Clear Conditions: 30,000 yards
CONTACT: Japanese lookouts spot Allied task force at 21,000 yards
CONTACT: Allied lookouts spot Japanese task force at 21,000 yards
Range closes to 15,000 yards...
Moizumi, Shinichi crosses the 'T'
DD Hagikaze engages DD Phelps at 15,000 yards
DD Hagikaze engages DD Selfridge at 15,000 yards
Range closes to 9,000 yards
CL Tenryu engages CL Concord at 9,000 yards

[Cap Mandrake]

Uji with 150 survivors is headed East and runs into crappy Reander. It-ah now confirmed at reast 3 ships named Reander.
Uji manages to escape because rubber bands on Reander need to be wound up again.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,155, Range 25,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
E Uji

Allied Ships
CL Leander
CL Achilles
DMS Edsall

[Cap Mandrake]

Adm. Hirata finishes rate brunch and accidentarry runs into Reander. OK, kick ass Maya-crass with 10x20cm guns and capaburh escort vs crappy Reander that must be reduced to 20mm ammo at this point. PAYBACK!

[:@]
Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 22,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Maya, Shell hits 3
DD Maikaze, Shell hits 2, on fire
DD Asashio, Shell hits 1, on fire
DD Oboro

Allied Ships
CL Leander, Shell hits 3
CL Achilles, Shell hits 1
DMS Edsall, Shell hits 1

[Cap Mandrake]

Then Maya accidentarry runs into Austraria. MAYBE you courd carr this a draw.


Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 23,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Maya
DD Maikaze, Shell hits 3, heavy fires
DD Asashio, on fire
DD Oboro, Shell hits 1, on fire

Allied Ships
CA Australia, Shell hits 1, on fire
DD Downes
DD MacDonough, Shell hits 2, on fire
DD John D. Edwards, Shell hits 1
DD Stuart

[Cap Mandrake]

Both sides getting tired. Adderarr wearing off for Arried-mens.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 21,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CL Yura
CL Tenryu, heavy fires
DD Hagikaze, on fire
DD Umikaze, Shell hits 1
DD Kisaragi, heavy fires

Allied Ships
CL Leander, Shell hits 1, on fire
CL Achilles, Shell hits 1
DMS Edsall

[zuluhour]

This ah good page to be arried dog Mandrake san. Speaking of breastesses , I 'm getting thirsty.

[Cap Mandrake]

Japan-mens ships at Koumac. Maya, Yura and one DD in fighting shape but essentiarry out of ammo. Maya has zero main gun ammo. Probaburh fresh Arried-mens DD's or CA's inbound toward Koumac about 80 mires out to West. Rets hope it-ah not PoW.
Patrol craft and some incoming TB's will try to protect Koumac. Herp coming fron North.

[sprior]

Where broody carriers? Prima donn-ahs nev-ah around when needed.