Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[sprior]

Somewhere on Luzon:

Digger1: (sips from steaming mug, retches) Streuth Bruce, what's this crap?
Digger2: Coffee Bruce
Digger1: Coffee? Only Yanks and poofters drink coffee!

[Wirraway_Ace]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Somewhere on Luzon:

[Digger1: Coffee? Only Yanks and poofters drink coffee!

Digger 3: Italians and French too, mate. Oh wait...

[Cap Mandrake]

************Regimental HQ, 3rd Marine Regt, Aparri*************


Man in fine linen slacks: Now, if you will come with me gentlemen, we are going to take a short hop down to the Manila suburbs by C-47. Please take as many pictures as you like of the Marines in action.

LIFE photog: Mr. Minderbinder, we were wondering if we could get a little closer to the action. We heard some heavy artillery fire west of here last night.

Man in fine linen slacks: Sorry boys, still to hot. General MacArthur's orders. I believe he said he didn't want to have to rescue any "shutterbugs" <smiles his winning smile>.......

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Somewhere on Luzon:

Digger1: (sips from steaming mug, retches) Streuth Bruce, what's this crap?
Digger2: Coffee Bruce
Digger1: Coffee? Only Yanks and poofters drink coffee!

I love coffee more dearly than alcohol. If you gave me a choice of no more martinis or no more French roast it wouldn't even be close.

I sometimes go to Pavillions just for coffee porn. I stand by the fresh beans (thousands and thosuands of them in big dispensers) and close my eyes and just sniff.

When our machine broke down recently I invented a strategy to boil the water, let it cool to 204 F, check with a meat thermometer and decant the nectar by hand. I am pretty sure it was what Walter White felt when he was "cooking".

One time I took a float trip down the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Complete wilderness. The trip organizer was a Mormon so I snuck in some coffee bags (like tea bags that you stick in a cup of hot water) in the saddle bag of one of the mules.

I could have sold that shit to the non-Mormons for $20 a bag they were so desperate by the first morning. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

By ra way, is "poofter" a bad thing? [:)]

[poodlebrain]

Not if you want to be elected to the city council in West Hollywood.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

By ra way, is "poofter" a bad thing? [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

Not if you want to be elected to the city council in West Hollywood.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

By ra way, is "poofter" a bad thing? [:)]

Can I count on your vote then?

[Cap Mandrake]

****World's Worst AAR Lexicon*******



As far as I can tell "Streuth Bruce" is some kind of Australian exclamation. Like a milder version of "Hory Crap!", I suspect.

[Cap Mandrake]

Announcement: Large Insurance Program Now Available for Beta Testing!


*Please contact K. Sebelius at 1-800-F1UCKYO*




* We-ah not kidding. This rearry is phone number.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Swine Household, Hoboken, NJ*************


Mrs Swine: Sweetheart, we should take a tour of Germany.

Mr. Swine: <reading Wall Street Journal commodities report, pages held between cloven hoof> Tours aren't really my thing, dear.

Mrs Swine: It's REALLY cheap!

Mr. Swine: Are you sure there isn't something wrong with it?

Mrs Swine: What could be wrong. It's Germany, dear.

Mr. Swine: Well, what part of Germany, then?

Mrs Swine: The Black Forest.

[Cap Mandrake]

************Pranning**********

Karenko fighter strip is now open. Time to send in the fighters and start the buidlup of ground forces for the push on Taihoku.


Taihoku has 2 DD's on station? "Ching" Lee will head back with a CL and 4 DD's to pay a courtesy visit.


Horycrappo-jima now has a full EAB ashore and is buidling up faster, now 46%


North Carolina and Massachusetts arrive Batan Is in 2 d. They will likely pay a visit to Takao.


Attack at Lingayen today.


Aleutians building up.*



*The AAR Board wishes to apologize for this unauthorized discussion of the actual (imaginary) war

[poodlebrain]

There are two obstacles to overcome before I could vote for you. First, I would have to take up residency in West Hollywood, and that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Second, you'd have to provide evidence you are a poofter to make you a viable candidate since I wouldn't want to waste my vote on an unelectable non-poofter. Since the first condition can't be met, you are off the hook for the second. I hope not having to provide evidence of being a poofter will be a relief to you and your paramour.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

Not if you want to be elected to the city council in West Hollywood.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

By ra way, is "poofter" a bad thing? [:)]

Can I count on your vote then?

[Cap Mandrake]

What if I told you I had the entire soundtrack to Yentil on my I-phone? Could I at least get a campaign contribution?

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

There are two obstacles to overcome before I could vote for you. First, I would have to take up residency in West Hollywood, and that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Second, you'd have to provide evidence you are a poofter to make you a viable candidate since I wouldn't want to waste my vote on an unelectable non-poofter. Since the first condition can't be met, you are off the hook for the second. I hope not having to provide evidence of being a poofter will be a relief to you and your paramour.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

Not if you want to be elected to the city council in West Hollywood.

Can I count on your vote then?

[poodlebrain]

I'd contribute enough for you to purchase the entire Liza Minnelli catalog from iTunes. However, if M&M Enterprises offers a better deal my contribution would be less.

[Cap Mandrake]

Liza! You go girl! I love her despite the unibrow.

[Cap Mandrake]

******************May 24, 1943(c)*******************


Mijako-jima: Inscrutable yerrow baahstards try to sneak up on us. We fool them. We sneak away first.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Miyako-jima at 91,66, Range 1,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Amagiri, Shell hits 1

Allied Ships
PT-111, Shell hits 1, heavy fires
PT-187

[Cap Mandrake]

Formosa: Inscrutable yerrow baahstards try to sneak up on us. This time it work. They send in A-team. They miss our PT boats and USN CL/DD force but do chance upon Thracian and and 2 RNN DD's escorting some LCT's. We get murderized. Crap.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Karenko at 87,65, Range 7,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Takao, Shell hits 2
CA Ashigara, Shell hits 1
DD Asakaze
DD Oite, Shell hits 1
DD Urukaze, Shell hits 3, on fire

Allied Ships
DD Isaac Sweers, Shell hits 13, heavy fires, heavy damage
DD Banckert, Shell hits 10, heavy fires, heavy damage
DD Thracian, Shell hits 16, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk

[Cap Mandrake]

*************FOB San Miguel, Panay, May 24, 1943(c)***********


FAM: <reading message from Lord Admiral SPrior> Newcastle? Do we have a Newcastle?

Lucha: Well, remember when youse told us boss that if it was a state or city it was one of ours and it was an adjective it was one of theirs?

FAM: Yeah, so?

Lucha: Well, we have a New Castle, in Indiana.

FAM: Oh yeah. My great granny used to live there. Older than dirt..104...told me her daddy took her to see Abe Lincoln. Maybe they have one two?

Moana: A great grandmother?

FAM: No, a Newcastle.

Moana: Sir, do you remember the consultant we hired when we were trapped at the seaplane hangar in Papeate?

FAM: Ah, yes! The fake funeral was brilliant!

Moana: Exactly! Perhaps they have someone with naval expertise?

FAM: Splendid idea! See if they have any attractive women naval consultants. Ok, what's next on the agenda?

Moana: Thracian, sir.

FAM: Thracians, are those the headhunters on Samar?

[Cap Mandrake]

Air losses from the previous turn. JJ lost a bunch of fighters and Kates trying to hit our shipping south of Formosa. We did lose 2 B-24's.

[Cap Mandrake]

No turn yet...guess I'll got to Oktoberfest. I predict this will be $6-7 beers which you have to drink inside of small quadrangle roped off by crime scene tape. I predict no waitresses with big breastesses either. No place to sit down either. You just pathetically stand in line and buy a beer from a fat guy in a T-shirt. They do have a live band and the beers and food will be good. Weather is nice too.