Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

..... Brown jobs on way to Darwin or PM vice Soerabaya.


******Prime Minister's Bomb Shelter, London, Dec. 19, 1941******

Miss Darwin: <at door to map room> Mr. Prime Minister, there is an attractive young American here in a curious brown uniform with short trousers, sneakers and white stockings. He says he has a package for you. Shall I sign?

PM: What does it say?

Miss Darwin: <looks at package> It is in a brown paper envelope and is addressed to "PM care of Miss Darwin". The return address is "Soerabaja Vice: Javanese Girls Gone Wild".

PM: Ah! Splendid! <walks away from map of North Africa> Yes, please sign for it. I'll be in my chambers for a bit and am not to be disturbed. In the meantime, ring Whitehall and see who they have as a replacement commander for 8th Army. Tell them I want somebody with a good Land Rating and an Aggression rating over 25 this time.
...and I don't want to hear anything about that insufferable prima donna, Montgomery.

[Cap Mandrake]

LUZON: No sooner had I moved the US armor and some Fillipino Scouts forward into the mountains on the road to Aparri, than 10,000 Japs moved down from Vigan toward Lingayen, threatening to unhinge my position. Even worse, the Japs brought 100 tankettes with them and their Eastern vanguard had at least the strength of my blocking force, with 10-15K more troops on their way. It is clear that I was the one going to be defeated in detail, not them.
The Clark Field hex is both jungle and rough with a level one fortification. My plan now is to fall back to Clark and Manila while Bataan fortifies. I will leave one Bn. of Scouts as a rearguard in the central highlands to force the Japs to deploy. The draw supply button works well to force supply to Bataan.

[BrucePowers]

Sounds like you can make it nasty for the IJA on Luzon..

[Cap Mandrake]

Can someone explain to me how I can be on a call list for debt restructuring agencies AND stock broker sales calls at the same time?

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Can someone explain to me how I can be on a call list for debt restructuring agencies AND stock broker sales calls at the same time?

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

Is your Mayan housekeeper working with a debt restructuring agency or is she your stock broker? [&:]

[;)]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Dec 18th

Honky Fidd hasnt fallen yet although our fixholes are getting filled in faster than we can dig them.

Kuching is in trouble, Dutch boats en route to look for nice fat skimmers.

Brown jobs on way to Darwin or PM vice Soerabaya.

Which brown jobs? You sending the 2nd UK down there? [&:]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..... Brown jobs on way to Darwin or PM vice Soerabaya.


******Prime Minister's Bomb Shelter, London, Dec. 19, 1941******

Miss Darwin: <at door to map room> Mr. Prime Minister, there is an attractive young American here in a curious brown uniform with short trousers, sneakers and white stockings. He says he has a package for you. Shall I sign?

PM: What does it say?

Miss Darwin: <looks at package> It is in a brown paper envelope and is addressed to "PM care of Miss Darwin". The return address is "Soerabaja Vice: Javanese Girls Gone Wild".

PM: Ah! Splendid! <walks away from map of North Africa> Yes, please sign for it. I'll be in my chambers for a bit and am not to be disturbed. In the meantime, ring Whitehall and see who they have as a replacement commander for 8th Army. Tell them I want somebody with a good Land Rating and an Aggression rating over 25 this time.
...and I don't want to hear anything about that insufferable prima donna, Montgomery.

[:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Can someone explain to me how I can be on a call list for debt restructuring agencies AND stock broker sales calls at the same time?

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

She seems comfortable in the knowledge that you would not be able to find your Crisco without her help. Which is probably true. [:'(]

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

Rather than deflecting the guilt onto Savina, you should be man enough to shoulder the full responsibility and admit the fault lay with you. After all, surely Savina was entitled to expect you to be working out your fall back lines on Luzon at 12.30 am.

Alternatively, wasn't there previously some competition between your Mayan housemaid and stalker girl, and Savina was really trying to needle stalker girl by waking her up, confident that you would not answer due to aforementioned commitments on Luzon.

Alfred

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Alfred



Rather than deflecting the guilt onto Savina, you should be man enough to shoulder the full responsibility and admit the fault lay with you. After all, surely Savina was entitled to expect you to be working out your fall back lines on Luzon at 12.30 am.

Alternatively, wasn't there previously some competition between your Mayan housemaid and stalker girl, and Savina was really trying to needle stalker girl by waking her up, confident that you would not answer due to aforementioned commitments on Luzon.

Alfred

Dang, Alfred. That is such an example of fiendish foreplanning as to have made Bobby Fisher proud. The open hostility between the two has died down, which of course, might well be a gambit for a devastating king side attack and...checkmate!

I think Stalker Girl feels her main competitor is now AE, which she calls "saving the world" [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

Just for the heck of it, I Googled "Javanese Girls Gone Wild". Among other things, none of which included Javanese girls going wild, I found this.....

http://www.archive.org/stream/javaorhow ... t_djvu.txt

...fascinating reading.

[Cap Mandrake]

....has led to the dismissal of the Emperor's personel chef after a brief experiment in Mexican food. Probably the cilantro did it. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Greater Co-prosperity Sphere:


LUZON:

Lucena.....2 Jap infantry regiments and a combat engineer regiment attacked at Lucena (South of Manila) and easily brushed aside the Fillipino reserve "division" that had been assembling there. A Boy Scout troop and the East Lucena Water Buffalo Drum and Fife Brigade were routed and retreated in disorder. The routed division is ordered to retreat Eastward and begin making Teriyaki flavored water buffalo jerkey for the coming seige.

Bayombang.....You know, the charming little hamlet, with the quaint Swiss architecture, in the mountains NE of Manila. The insouciant Tanaka Detachment, a full Regt. of tankettes (complete with wics) and an SNLF Bn. attacked the two Fillipino Scout Bn's before they could get out. Too bad I pulled out the Stuarts as they might have given the Empire a bloody nose. As it was, the attack came off at 1:1 and the Scouts suffered about 3:1 in causalties. I will try to get at least one Bn out before a second attack. Most likely, however, the LYB's will have another go at it tomorrow and the good guys will take a thrashing. I tried a sweep of P-40's over Bayombang but not much came of it. This was after 5-6 top of the line P-26's were lost yesterday to Nates during a tac air mission.

Lingayen Gulf.....A full Jap infantry brigade crushed more Boy Scouts and The San Fernando Pearl Diver's Auxillary Zoave Bn. Oh well. War is Hell. Everyone else is back to Clark and Manila.

Legazpi...The town fell without a fight. All of Southeastern Luzon South and East of Lucena is in Jap hands. Legazpi had like 5000 tons of fuel. What idiot did that, I wonder. Oh well, war is Hell.

[Mynok]

Rough field trip for the Boy Scouts!

WIC's? WO In Charge?

[witpqs]

Maybe phone call recon? Beware Mayan amphibious landing.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Mynok


Rough field trip for the Boy Scouts!

WIC's? WO In Charge?

Oh...sorry. I meant "wicks". The things that make them burn longer when they get hit by hot tungsten.

[Mynok]

Ah...an inadvertant spell check.......[:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

BORNEO:

On the 19th, several TF's are spotted headed South 120 Mi. North of Kuching. There is one carrier TF with limited aircraft (later confirmed to be Zuiho). Force Z is near the Makassar Strait and cannot help. Just as well, the South China sea is a dangerous place for Allied vessels.

Miri and Brunei have fallen. Some of the RAF ground support folks were got out by air to Southern Borneo.

Instead of landing at Kuching, the Jap force turns West toward Java. My guess would be Palambang or vicinity. Small attacks from Singapore pester, annoy and aggravate the crew of Zuiho in wave after wave of Stringbags and Beuforts in small packets. There is no effective CAP. Even so, no hits are scored. All we really need is one bomb on Zuiho to stop the landing...probably. Maybe tomorrow.

SULAWESE: Several small B-17 raids from Balikpapan and Ambon destroy one Betty on the ground at Menado but fail to score a knockout blow on the airfield. Force Z pulls back to Java to avoid the Bettys.

The US carriers reach Sydney and are going to try to run the Strait of Cortez and lay off in secrecy somewhere near Timor...waiting for an opportunity.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Wheeler Field, Oahu, Dec. 21, 1941********


8 brand new B-17E's just arrived from the Boing Field in Seattle are lined up on the tarmac. The even fresher air crews are lined up for inspection by General Short. An NCO walks quickly down the line to make sure all is in order. He stops abruptly in front of one soldier.


NCO: GODAMNIT DOMBROWSKY! GODDMANIT TO HELL! DIDN'T I TELL YOU CHILDREN THAT YOUR GOVERNMENT ISSUE UNDERWEAR GOES INSIDE YOUR UNIFORM SLACKS?




I made the mistake of drawing new crews (pilots) for a non filled out squadron of B-18's at Oahu. That wasn't so bad as I planned to have them learn how to tie their shoes and practice in the single B-18 in the squadron [:D]

Unfortuantely, I somehow managed to assign them 8 priceless B-17E's [X(]

[khyberbill]

Unfortuantely, I somehow managed to assign them 8 priceless B-17E's

You can swap them out with more experienced crews. But don't make the mistake I did and send them towards Oz until your airfields along the way are built up. I lost 5 planes from 4 squadrons of B17/24s landing at Pago Pago while it was a lvl 2.

[sprior]

The Japanese went left hand down and headed straight into Singkawang.

The Dutch boats slam a couple of dogs into some targets. The Crabs get so embarrassed that they prove that if you have a blunderbuss 10 yards in front of a barn door then eventually you'll hit it.

Honky Fidd fell but the lads held out til 22/12, not bad.