Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[witpqs]

Dowry depends upon the culture, AFAIK. Just tell him you're a member of some obscure Mayan sect, and ad lib from there. Offer in trade some antique WWII torpedoes, fired but never exploded.

[khyberbill]

The dowry means you would have to pay. Another version of a hidden tax, just this time it is privatized.

Alfred

And, most likely, re-occurring.

[Mynok]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Mynok


3 CVs? I must have missed when you lost two.

Yes, one in the fight over Ambon in a "trade" for one CVL, one CVE a CA and the very nearly sunk, but apparently not close enough, Akagi which apparently survived a night cruiser battle and two torpedo hits.


The second was lost in an absolutely disastrous (for us) surprise raid on Sydney very early in the war. God that was painful.

Great googly moogly! Forget what I said! You are in no position to be bringing out the CVs.

Sheesh...two lost already? [X(] [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Mynok

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Mynok


3 CVs? I must have missed when you lost two.

Yes, one in the fight over Ambon in a "trade" for one CVL, one CVE a CA and the very nearly sunk, but apparently not close enough, Akagi which apparently survived a night cruiser battle and two torpedo hits.


The second was lost in an absolutely disastrous (for us) surprise raid on Sydney very early in the war. God that was painful.

You are in no position to be bringing out the CVs.

Is there an echo in here? [&:]

[Mynok]

Sorry, but my original information was faulty. Five CVs is a different scenario than 3.

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

She rook rike Friggen Jackie Chan!

[X(]

I would have replied to this one sooner, but my hand was shaking from my laughter as I tried to use the mouse. [8D]

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

My daughter got a ticket for using her cellphone while driving (and talking to one of her friends about nothing important, no doubt)...$196 fricken US dollars for a first offense. This is another one of those hidden taxes.


Anyway, so I make her stay at home and wash windows...so far, so good....well, anyway she must have been watching History Chanel or something....she calls me at work...


Are you busy?

Well, yeah. What's up?

I'm Working on the windows.

Good.

They are really dirty.

Good. Is that what you called about?

No, I thought you might know if Osma bin Ladin is still alive?

What? ...Probably, but nobody is sure. And the other thing? <now convinced this had to be an ice-breaker question>

Oh, I'll just ask you later. You're busy. See you daddy, bye.


<What the Hell? I am pretty sure there is a wild summer party at the house>

Oh, yeah! That was absolutely an "Everybody shut up and be quiet while I make sure he's still at the office!" call. [;)]

[sprior]

haven't talked it over with Lord Admiral Sprior but the redo idea seems unmanly

My nanny says we shouldn't be such big girls' blouses.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

haven't talked it over with Lord Admiral Sprior but the redo idea seems unmanly

My nanny says we shouldn't be such big girls' blouses.

Ah, I perceive you might have trouble understanding your nanny as well. I can't find it in Urban Dictionary, but I'm thinking it is some kind of milky white, pink-nippled Celtic/Anglo/Saxon tata reference.

Are you sure she didn't say "we shouldn't be IN big girl's blouses"? That would seem to have a moralistic tone and make more sense....nannywise.


Here is what my Mayan nanny said, "yo lavo su bikini, doctor". Then she laughed like a crazy Mayan. I am still not sure what the gag was.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Pacific fleet HQ, Pearl, May 18, 1942*********


Adm. Kimmel: Did you find Palliser yet?

Aide: No sir, he won't pick up.

Adm. Kimmel: Goddmanit! Maybe he has no reception. We should switch to Verizon.

Aide: Don't think so sir. The current carrier just put up a tower on the volcano on Tanna.

Adm. Kimmel: Maybe he forgot his battleship charger?...Or he has it on vibrate. Damnit, didn't I tell you guys not to use vibrate during gunnery battles?

Aide: Yes sir.

Adm. Kimmel: OK, send him a text. Ready?

Aide: Yes sir.

Adm. Kimmel: OK now..

Aide: <thumbs start moving like crazy>

Adm. Kimmel: NO, NOT YET!

Aide: <furrows brow, types wildly>

Adm. Kimmel: CAPTAIN! STOP TEXTING!

Aide: <looks up> Ah, yes sir.

Adm. Kimmel: Look, just ask him if Warspite had any main gun ammo left, OK.................

[Cap Mandrake]

**********Aboard HMS Arthur Dent, Noume...err..New Edinburgh Harbor, may 18, 1942*******

Admiral Palliser, yeah, he really is still alive: <perceives buzzing in pocket of his wet trousers, pulls out AQ432/21 radio communication device and begins reading message> Bloody Colonials!

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: USS America

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

My daughter got a ticket for using her cellphone while driving (and talking to one of her friends about nothing important, no doubt)...$196 fricken US dollars for a first offense. This is another one of those hidden taxes.


Anyway, so I make her stay at home and wash windows...so far, so good....well, anyway she must have been watching History Chanel or something....she calls me at work...


Are you busy?

Well, yeah. What's up?

I'm Working on the windows.

Good.

They are really dirty.

Good. Is that what you called about?

No, I thought you might know if Osma bin Ladin is still alive?

What? ...Probably, but nobody is sure. And the other thing? <now convinced this had to be an ice-breaker question>

Oh, I'll just ask you later. You're busy. See you daddy, bye.


<What the Hell? I am pretty sure there is a wild summer party at the house>

Oh, yeah! That was absolutely an "Everybody shut up and be quiet while I make sure he's still at the office!" call. [;)]

It could have been "just wanted to say I love you, daddy". [:D]

[Smeulders]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Aboard HMS Arthur Dent

What class of ship is HMS Arthur Dent ? Is it a rowboat, or a poor seaman tasked with keeping his admiral afloat ?

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Smeulders

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Aboard HMS Arthur Dent

What class of ship is HMS Arthur Dent ? Is it a rowboat, or a poor seaman tasked with keeping his admiral afloat ?

I perceive that the HMS Arthur Dent is involved in carrying bulldozers somewhere-maybe a NCB?. I don't know, something about A. Dent and bulldozers rings a bell...

Well, drink up.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Smeulders

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Aboard HMS Arthur Dent

What class of ship is HMS Arthur Dent ? Is it a rowboat, or a poor seaman tasked with keeping his admiral afloat ?

I was mistaken. It doesn't belong to His Majesty. It might be Golgafrinchan but I am not really sure. She is of the Wicke's class, but with a field modification of the powerplant to something called the "infinite probability drive".

IMprobably, she is still alive...and so is Palliser after the action of the 19th. More to come.

[Cap Mandrake]

Braves have heap big fight with LYB's. Many squaws cry in teepee tonight................ but some happy to get life insurance checks.

[Smeulders]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Smeulders

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Aboard HMS Arthur Dent

What class of ship is HMS Arthur Dent ? Is it a rowboat, or a poor seaman tasked with keeping his admiral afloat ?

I was mistaken. It doesn't belong to His Majesty. It might be Golgafrinchan but I am not really sure. She is of the Wicke's class, but with a field modification of the powerplant to something called the "infinite probability drive".

IMprobably, she is still alive...and so is Palliser after the action of the 19th. More to come.

So it's a predecessor of the Heart of Gold-class. If only she were able to replicate the trick with the whales and the missiles, but in reverse. All your problems would quickly be solved.

[Cap Mandrake]

Alleged Jap losses from the the 16th/17th.

Ise and Mutsu I believe. Not so sure about Nagato, although she must certainly be a wreck if not sunk. Also one or two of the CA's might be the boys at Pacific Fleet drinking too much coffee.

[Cap Mandrake]

Allied combatant losses from the 16/17/18. RNN Sumatra managed somehow find a tie-down at New Edinburgh and is still afloat with 85% flooding.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mississippi succumbed to her wounds but there are three ships which, improbably again, are NOT on the Allied list...New Mexico, Idaho and Colorado. More to come.