Real Life Stories

[sterckxe]

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy
Oh, you guys reminded me of a couple of LT's getting in trouble for chewing me out.

Lt’s sure needed a lot of hands-on training

Pissing off Lt’s was one of my hobbies during my year as a draftee – so much so that my captain at one point was so desperate he vowed he would have my next official reprimand framed. If you’re just a 1-year draftee with no plans of staying in the army they’ve got not much leverage on you

Pissing off Lt’s is easy : what you need to do is learn every rule & regulation by heart and then act accordingly.

Two examples :

I was on a 24-hour guard duty on one of the side-entrances of the base. Me and a fellow private were manning the barrier when this Lt comes up to us from behind. We were busy checking passes and letting cars into the base as it was “rush hour” so we didn’t notice him immediately. He started to chew us out for not saluting and then did an impromptu inspection telling the other guy to dismantle his rifle – which he started to do. Then he turned to me and said “you too”. I simply said “No” – the Lt turned slightly pink – “What ? – I order you to dismantle your rifle !” - me : “No – as per regulation #<whatever> one of the two rifles at a checkpoint must be ready to fire at all times – didn’t you know that Lt ?”. The “what an idiot” look on my face and the general tone of my question earned me another “C4” (the form used to record the “grievous offence”) but his skin-tone told me I had humiliated him to the bone – a job well done

To top it off : that Lt was “Duty Officer of the Week” – which means that he had to be available 24/7. One of the regulations stipulates that each guard-house has to call him each hour, night or day, to report an “everything ok” through a number of encoded exchanges for which you have to be awake. As common sense dictates you don’t do this, but only call in when there’s some trouble. Not so after the episode above : we called him *every* hour of the day and night to report an “everything ok”, got the other guard-houses into the act as well and when we were relieved at 07:00 made sure this would continue for the rest of the week. I’m pretty sure that was the last time ever he bothered guys on guard duty

I nearly caused one Lt to have a stroke once too. Officers in the Belgian army are obliged to be bilingual French-Dutch, NCO’s aren’t. So here I am chatting and laughing (too loudly) in French to a career corporal while we should be patrolling and out of nowhere appears this Lt who starts to chew us out in French. After a minute or so in his tirade he has to stop for a second to breath which I use to ask in my most innocent voice.”Lt, could you repeat what you just said in Dutch ?” Now, he obviously had overheard me talking French so he *knew* I spoke it quiet well, but I continued to smile and play dumb and acting just as if I didn’t, so he got *really* enraged to the point where he couldn’t even talk French anymore, just splutter. Another well-earned “C4”.

And it was usually the Lt’s, fresh from the academy, that got into trouble with us, “civilians in uniform”, as any career nco/officer with some experience soon learns how to handle us : don’t order, just ask for something to be done and say “thanks” or “well done” afterwards. And don’t bother us with “being out of uniform” or “not smartly saluting” bs or you might find out we’re better than you at being “by the book”. A mate here at work once got the order to “park his truck against that tree over there” which he did – to the letter. The same guy, once when on maneuvers when ordered to guard his truck decided the best place to guard it from was from the inside, with the engine running, to the chagrin of his Lt out in the cold who got even more pissed off when the captain agreed with the private that he had executed his orders correctly (no doubt the captain wanted to teach that Lt a lesson as well)

The draft ended somewhere in the early nineties, guys my age who’ve gone through it in general regret this as most think it’s an excellent practice school to learn how to handle your corporate boss during the rest of your civilian career … or your full-colonel father-in-law

Greetz,

Eddy Sterckx

[rogueusmc]

We had an XO of in Saudi that liked to 'test' our perimeter. Me and my buddy Doug (who's TO weapon during our deployment was an M60D), was on OP one night when the XO made his tour.

He was walking laterally about 50 yards out. We were at 50% (one of us was crashed while one walked) and I was up. I told my buddy to wake up that we had someone out there. I called out to halt in English and Arabic three times and he never stopped.

I turned and nodded to Doug and he grabbed the charging handle of his gun and pulled it back and then forward (a very distinctive sound). The guy froze in his tracks.

Doug yelled,"WHO THE F#$% GOES THERE?!?!"

He says,"Major So-and-so, Battalion XO."

I said,"advance slowly with you hands in the air."

When he got about 25 yards out, I told him to stop. We exchanged challenge and password. Then I said, "put your ID on the deck and step back ten paces and get on your face."

He said,"excuse me?!"

I said,"you heard me." He looked at me for a few seconds and at that M60 lined up on his chest and figured he'd do as I said. I was pissed. I figured if they asked me why I did it I'd say that I still had doubts as to who he was because why would a Major be walking by himself out in the desert in the middle of the night?

I checked his ID and told him to advance to be recognized.

When he got to me, I handed him his ID, Saluted properly and told him who I was, what unit I was with and that my post was all secure. He wasn't happy with me. But I had done everthing as the book said to so he couldn't do anything to me. He never did like me though. We put him on his face twice more...that boy never learned.

Semper Fi,
Lee

[sterckxe]

ORIGINAL: rogueusmc
But I had done everthing as the book said to so he couldn't do anything to me.

Doing it “by the book” can be extremely funny, particularly if one part of “the book” clashes with another part.

During basic training there was this guy in my platoon who had a skin condition which prohibited him from wearing any head-gear (beret or a helmet). Apart from our platoon getting stopped all the time because one of us was “out of uniform” this became a Big Problem for the army when the regulation that “all persons entering the shooting range are obliged to wear a helmet” clashed with the “you can’t finish basic training without having had shooting practice”

Our Lt who knew how adamant our mate was about his “no head-gear” medical condition tried to talk the range officer into deviating from the rule – no dice. He then tried to convince the guy to put a helmet on for 30 seconds and shoot his FNC rifle on full-auto – no dice. The rest of the platoon became interested spectators as the problem moved up the chain of command. First to get called-in and appear was the officer of the watch – lot’s of back and forth – no progress. Some guys in the platoon were already taking bets as to who would cave-in first : our mate or the army. The base XO arrives – he gives us all a dirty look which manages to stifle the giggles and whispers for about 30 seconds but the stand-off is total. Meanwhile, as other platoons want to use the range as well as per their time-schedule an immense traffic jam starts to form. The range officer is so distracted by the heated discussion that he doesn’t even notice this and the news spreads from platoon to platoon. As they’re all drafted civilians they’re (quietly) ROTFL that the army got itself in so much trouble.

Finally our sergeant can’t take it anymore. He puts on his helmet, walks up to our mate, yanks his rifle out of his hands, puts in a clip, kneels and blasts the target on full-auto. On returning the rifle he says “there, you’ve just completed your required shooting” and returns to our platoon. All the officers who had been discussing and arguing about it for over an hour are just nailed to the floor – and the look on their faces is just too much for us and we all start laughing uncontrollably – especially since our sergeant mutters “bloody idiots” under his breath.

The base XO does the most sensible thing and quietly disappears but the others try to restore some order and discipline which takes some doing. I later asked our sergeant if he got chewed out for this episode and he said “yeah, but who gives a sh*t about that anyway if you get an opportunity to make officers look stupid ?” He was a drafted civilian as well (when drafted you could elect to serve as a private, nco or even as an officer if you were accepted as such). It was then I fully realized that the only power the army had over us, civilians in uniform, was the power to yell at us. That doesn’t hurt at all

That episode sort of got me started on my mission to annoy as many officers as possible during my army “career” and it resulted into another regulations clash : I got stationed in the control tower – as they’re all professional air traffic controllers I was the only conscript in that group. Air Force regulations dictate that after six months at least 1 private draftee per group must be promoted to corporal. But another regulation prohibited promotion to anyone who had an official reprimand on his service record. I had already received several – see my other posts. The captain solved it by going through the channels to expunge my service record and I got my 2 stripes in the end to the relief of the captain because he now was again within Air Force regulations. He was so immensely pleased with himself for having solved this Big Problem that I played along because I really liked the guy whereas I really didn’t give a damn either way – it was a piffling $15/month difference in pay.

You really had to admire these military air traffic controllers. A job that required the highest professional qualifications and attitude while being severely underpaid. After my degree I had already worked for over a year before getting drafted so I could compare my civilian paycheck to their’s – only the captain made more money than I – they were an informal close-knit bunch as well : when no “outsider” was present they addressed each other on a first-name basis and insisted that this “rule” applied to me as well.

Greetz,

Eddy Sterckx

[JudgeDredd]

Real life story.....

We had moved into location - probably about 2am. Had been driving for over 12 hours, picking up ammo and dropping it off.

When we got back to location, my mate Taff (he's Welsh lol) and I had camouflaged the truck up and had got the flask out, kicked back our feet and looked up at the stars.

SSgt Towler (had a great big handle bar moustache) came along to check everyone had settled down and kicked me and Taff out our bivvies and told us to get our shell scrapes dug.

We did that and then got our heads down. After Stand To in the morning, we were "volunteered" by SSgt Towler to dig the gun pit!! So, we were taking it in turns. I was on the gun in the shell scrape next to the pit, and Taff was digging, then we'd swap.

Anyway, at one point, I was standing next to the gun pit and kicking the dirt in behind Taff as he was throwing it out. Well, when he seen me doing this&nbsp; he stared at me with those evil Welsh eyes and said "If you do that again, I'm gonna stick a thunderflash up your arse"...well, being a tough jock bastad, I did.....he got a great big pile of dirt on his shovel and swung it round and let loose that big pile of dirt straight at me. Unfortunately for him, I was fast as pooh pooh on a hot shovel and ducked....and SSgt Towler had come along to see how we were getting on with the gun pit.

Well...Taff had a face like he'd seen a ghost. When I turned round, there was SSgt Towler with a great big handlebar moustache full of freshly dug Salisbury Plain mud!!

Taff and I were dixie bashing for the next fortnight!

I know it's not a war story, and not further back than WWII (in fact, about 1985) but it is a real story all the same.

[rogueusmc]

We are just trading stories Dredd...you, as we say, 'good-to-go'.

[sterckxe]

ORIGINAL: rogueusmc
We are just trading stories Dredd...you, as we say, 'good-to-go'.

By general request (ahum) here’s another story :

During my year in the Air Force the Powers That Be had decided to have a big air show, open to the general public, in which every aircraft the Air Force had flown with after WWII would be shown. When going over the list they came across the F-104 Starfighter and as luck would have it, there was still a NATO country where they were still in use : Turkey. Easy solution : invite a squadron of them over for the show. No problems there, they were proud and glad to be asked.

The day before the show I was on duty in the control tower and one by one the various aircraft came in. We made damn’ sure to get the Spitfire parked near the tower so all of us could have a private look at this magnificent beast of a plane but then came this telephone call from my equivalent number in the north of France. The conversation ran something like this “Beauvechain tower, we’ve got a squadron of Turkish F-104’s heading your way – be warned that only 1 of those pilots speaks something resembling English and the others just follow his lead. Let me stress that even this one pilot doesn’t always understand directions and often acknowledges something and actually does the opposite. Be very, very carefull with them”

He didn’t exaggerate a bit – our atc guys had a hell of a time getting them to land safely – especially with our airspace so close to a civilian one.

Next day I was off-duty and watching the air show. Due to fatal accidents at other air shows the security measures were strict : the crowd was kept back a 1000 feet from the runway and all planes flew a strict pattern which never took them directly over the crowd. Until it was the F-104’s turn. They managed to come in from behind the crowd, fly over them at less than 300 feet and do all sorts of stuff. The crowd went wild with enthusiasm – while all the other planes were deemed to fly too far away, these guys were considered tops.

Short : best-of-show according to everyone I spoke to – they even made the evening news.

Next day I was working again and (not to my surprise) I heard the real story : the atc's on duty had tried - in vain – to keep them away from the crowd, getting a few more grey hairs in the process, the colonel was getting terrible heat from above and from the insurance company etc. for what had been an abysmal lack of professionalism and a violation of all security rules on the Turkish pilots part.

The one bright point : those Turkish cowboys would leave today and I had the honor and the pleasure to call my opposite number in France and warn them about them. As luck (and duty-rosters) would have it I had the same guy on the telephone as two days before. He actually started to use foul language to describe his feeling about those pilots and our atc guys were intensely glad to get rid of them.

Excellent example that the general public’s appreciation of something might not entirely be the same as the view of those who *really* know what’s going on [;)]

Greetz,

Eddy Sterckx

[JudgeDredd]

Nice story eddy....I've had experience of working closely with other nationalities in the NATO forces and I can concur, it can end with hilarious (and sometimes dangerous) consequences.

[Twotribes]

In Okinawa with Comm Company Headquarters BN 3rd Mar Div, I was Company Gunny. We were doing a million field ops to prepare for Team Spirit.

We do a night move and I tell my Sgt and crew not to put up cammy netting until the control center ( 2 trailer halfs pushed together with comm gear inside) is together and operational, the camo just gets in the way and since it is dark it can go up last, not first.

My XO had ordered me to inspect all the company sites ( spread all over the damn place) make sure no one was lazying about, get extra people to help with other set ups and make sure there were no problems. Now as it would happen the Captain is not there this night and instead the MGySgt is ( Ops Chief) He is not " in the know" on the Captain's orders.

I spend about 45 minutes stumbling around in the dark arguing with other GySgts and SSgts on where and why their Marines WILL go help esle where. I get back to the comm center site and the Sgt and team are busy putting up Camo netting on half the te set up ( the second trailer hasn't arrived yet) Before I can find out whats going on the MGySgt lays into me about not being there, not controlling my team and a host of curses and accusations of incompetence. Now I am mad.

I do to my poor Sgt, exactly what the MGySgt did to me lay into him with out finding out whats up.

He splutters out, " Gunny, it isn't our fault,, the Lt ordered us to do the Camo netting". Not knowing the Lt in question and the CO are standing 5 feet behind me I respond " You Do not work for that Fing Lt, you work for me , you do what I say not him" From behind me I hear a wimper and the Lt says " Fine, I won't try and help anymore" I turn around and the CO is GLARING at me. LOL it was worth the look on that idiot Lt's face.

[Neilster]

My dad had quite a large depression in the centre of his chest. As a child I asked what caused it. He said...

"Well mate, there we were...Korea...1951. Three against a thousand! Chinese bugles echoing around the ridge-tops. Bullets flying past out ears. Toughest 3 bastards we ever fought."

That was typical dad and I'm not sure it was a real war story, especially as he was 12 in 1951. [:D]

Cheers, Neilster

[rogueusmc]

I have a friend who was with the First Raider Battalion down on their little raids. He was a radio operator when he got scratched...a bullet hit him in the radio.

When the whole Iraq thing started, he asked me if I was gonna volunteer to go back in. I told him I would if he would. He told me the radios now are smaller than they used to be and he couldn't hide behind one now...[:D]

Semper Fi,
Lee

[ilovestrategy]

I was a radio operator in the 80's in the Corps. One day we were in our office when TOP Wiscour(in the Marine Corps an E-8 is sometimes called top) was kicking his feet with us and shooting the breeze.
Our office was actually a section of a building which had several partitions made by chain link fences so someone in our office could just yell to someone several offices down at the other end of the building. You could hear but not see the people in the next office from bookshelves and other things placed against each chain link fence.
Anyway, here was Top Wiscour sitting at a desk with his feet propped up when this butterbar(This has got to be a LT bashing thread[:D]) walked in and asked in a clear voice where was Captain so and so.
Top with his hands behind his head and feet on the desk replied, "Beats the hell out of me."
I'll never forget how flustered and pink that face of that Lt. was. In a stern voice he commanded,"You WILL stand up at attention when talking to me marine!"
Without batting an eye Top said,"I have more time jumping out of the back of trucks than you have in life."
That guys jaw just dropped to the ground. As he turned to leave he threatened to tell his CO what happened and Top yelled in a LOUD CLEAR voice,"HEY BOB! YOUR BOOT LUEY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU"
[:D][:D][:D][:D]

[sterckxe]

Ok, if Lt bashing is the new theme, here’s another story this time involving my father-in-law.

At the time he was stationed in a small base in Germany and as is customary the guys stationed there, together with their families, don’t live on the base but simply in rented houses in town.

As is also customary : everyone on a base and their families can use the facilities provided by it, which when you’re talking about an outside swimming pool on a hot summer’s day, is mighty fine. So, while on holiday, my future father-in-law takes his kids to the base, all dressed for a swim. The guy on guard duty knows him so lets him in (everyone on a small base like that knows everyone else) – so here’s this guy in shorts and slippers, kids in tow, strolling along inside the base when he gets stopped by a Lt who just transferred in. “What the hell he’s doing in a military base and what the hell are these kids doing here” etc. He gets so heated-up that he calls for the guard patrol and officer of the watch to throw them out. The officer of the watch is the first to arrive and the conversation went something like this :

Officer of the watch : “Hi Pierre, fancy a swim ?”
My father-in-Law : “yup, kids say “hi” to <x>”

The officer of the watch then turns to the Lt and says “Oh, I see that you’ve met our XO”

That Lt nearly died on the spot [:D]

Greetz,

Eddy Sterckx

[ilovestrategy]

Oh.....My....God....[X(][X(][X(][X(]

[rogueusmc]

This isn't an Lt. story...it is a General story...[:D]similar to your Lt. story.

On 29 Palms, you NEVER walked across the General's parade deck. You learned this first thing upon arriving. A new Lance Corporal saw someone walking across it one day and yelled at him and told him how you weren't supposed to do that.

The guy asked him who he was and what unit he was with. The LCpl told him and that he was new here and even he knew not to walk across that parade deck.

That next Monday, that LCpl was called to his CO's office and asked if he was the one that told the General he wasn't supposed to walk across his parade deck. The kid said he had told a guy that he wasn't supposed to walk across it but he didn't know who it was.

Later that day, that LCpl was a Corporal.[8D]

Semper Fi,
Lee

[ilovestrategy]

Oh man, 29 Stumps. I did some math one time and figured out that I spent 1/6 of my 4 years there. And, the infamous parade deck....[:-]

[Twotribes]

29 palms parade deck, thats where I learned how to sleep in formation. Seems we had visitors every other week while I was in school there.

Want a real funny story? A friend while there, his parents were British, a British General was coming to visit and the Command ask him to be the "translator" . I almost died laughing when I heard that. Slept through that parade as well.

Also at 29 palms a friend screwed up his ankle, it was swollen so bad they couldn't even put a cast on it. It was huge. We get him to sickbay in the middle of the night and the Corpsman comes to look at him. Both his ankles are exposed and the Corpsman asks, "which one is it"

Then the friend asks about his ankle and the Corpsman says " man its f'ed up" The Doctor comes and he asks the Doctor and his reply was " Son, it's f'ed up" Worked out for me, he was smarter than me and got set back a couple classes, so I got to graduate first in my class and get my next school of my choice... )

[Twotribes]

Ohh ya 29 palms and the sand yards outside the barracks. We had to rack them every day. One night they wouldn't let us in the barracks because of something, can not remember what. And I had to go very badly. So I made yellow rivers in the damn sand yard. While the Company commander was in the barracks. Everyone thought that was hilarious. ( doesn't take much to make a Marine laugh.) Almost got caught cause they wouldn't stop laughing and the 1st Sgt wanted to know what was going on.

[rogueusmc]

I raked alot of that sand for a few weeks once.

I was quality assurance at the ammo dump there. When units are out there at CAX (Combined Arms Exercises), I was out at their field ammo dump more than I was at mine. If they said they had some bad ammo, I drove my happy ass out in the middle of the desert somewhere and check it and tell them "yes it is go get a replacement" or "it's fine, keep using it."

I was out at the field ammo dump usually for a week during the end of the CAX as they were returning stuff to us at the base ammo dump. I was usually there from daylight to dark.

I crashed at lunch one day and didn't wke up until the Gunny drove up. I walked in with him and he asked me what the others were doing. Me being the honest guy I am, told him I didn't have a clue. and that he had just woke me up from a nap.

He started yelling at me about being UA (Unauthorized Absence) and that it was a chargeable offense. He then told me that he was from the 'old school' and that he didn't believe in writing someone up, he'd just kick my ass.

Now, someone tells me they are gonna kick my ass, it pisses me off. He was a worthless Gunny anyway and was totally full of hot air. He didn't have the balls to fight. I almost told him that if he felt froggy, he could just go ahead and jump but I kept my mouth shut.

That was a Friday and the following Monday, I was looking at a charge sheet. They took me before the Colonel and he asked me what I had to say for myself. I told him that we had been out there daylight to dark all week and that I had been there since 0600 that morning and I had only overslept by 15 minutes at lunch.

He asked me if the charge sheet surprised me being as I was only UA by 15 minutes. I said that the charge sheet surprised me because the Gunny said he didn't write people up, he kicks their ass.[:D]

I still got 2 weeks office hours and it ruined my third Good Conduct Medal, but I'm sure the Gunny was in some hot water for a bit.

Semper Fi,
Lee

[ilovestrategy]

Oh man, I had forgotten about raking the sand and all those formations on the parade deck while in school there. When I was checking out this taxi cab driver wanted to charge me a butt load of extra money for a ride to the front gate from the PX.&nbsp;because business was "slow"&nbsp;so I WALKED! Took forever.

[Kuokkanen]

Something that hit my eye somewhere else in Internet:

In Boot Camp I unthinkingly (it was early, and I think I'd had about 4 hours sleep total) ended a question with "quiaff" to my Drill Sergeant. He responded, "Aff." I didn't press the issue.