Fatal accident on my way home.

[Nemo121]

Jeff,

I wouldn't worry about not knowing what to say. In my experience in breaking bad news to literally hundreds of families over the years they aren't interested in someone finding the perfect words. They're just interested in having an empathic, real human being who empathises for their loss and does their best to answer their questions honestly ( although there's no point being too honest --- things were quick, as painless as possible etc etc. No need to be too honest if it will simply cause more distress. ).

You obviously have empathy. That combined with sincerity is all you need. Don't bother with any fancy schmancy crap. Just be a real, sincere human being who may not find the perfect words but whose heart is in the right place, real people respond to that.

[Nikademus]

awful tale.

unfortunately Seattle is home of many large SUV type vehicles and i see it everyday....that sense of invulnerability on the road. Worse, technology makes it too tempting for many people to not text or even surf while driving...never mind the classic phone conversation. The other day i swear i saw a person driving with what looked like an iPad propped on his/or her steering wheel at 60mph on the highway. I very quickly put distance between myself and this moron.

That said....i've been guilty on occasion of texting while driving. I chastise myself and this story will serve as further incentive to just Drive....the text can wait.

[:(]

[jeffk3510]

Nemo- Thanks for advice, I appreciate it. I will probably contact them, I just haven't figured out how yet.

Nik-  I too am guilty of texting while driving and I do use the phone a lot on the road.  Not anymore...promise.

[Shark7]

ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Jeff,

I wouldn't worry about not knowing what to say. In my experience in breaking bad news to literally hundreds of families over the years they aren't interested in someone finding the perfect words. They're just interested in having an empathic, real human being who empathises for their loss and does their best to answer their questions honestly ( although there's no point being too honest --- things were quick, as painless as possible etc etc. No need to be too honest if it will simply cause more distress. ).

You obviously have empathy. That combined with sincerity is all you need. Don't bother with any fancy schmancy crap. Just be a real, sincere human being who may not find the perfect words but whose heart is in the right place, real people respond to that.

You are right, there is no magic formula, and there is no easy way to tell people bad news. Having had to deliver the bad news many times, I've found that simply stating 'there is nothing more we can do for them' tends to be the best. Just be honest, the honesty goes farther than any fancy words you might try to say.

[Shark7]

ORIGINAL: Nikademus

awful tale.

unfortunately Seattle is home of many large SUV type vehicles and i see it everyday....that sense of invulnerability on the road. Worse, technology makes it too tempting for many people to not text or even surf while driving...never mind the classic phone conversation. The other day i swear i saw a person driving with what looked like an iPad propped on his/or her steering wheel at 60mph on the highway. I very quickly put distance between myself and this moron.

That said....i've been guilty on occasion of texting while driving. I chastise myself and this story will serve as further incentive to just Drive....the text can wait.

[:(]

Looks like my state, Texas, is about to pass a statewide ban on texting and driving. We already have a ban on any cell phone use (even hands free) in school zones and it has had a big effect on safety. Surprisingly, most people will obey the law pertaining to school zones, we take the safety of our kids (and other people's kids) seriously.

I'm honestly hoping these texting or cell phone while driving bans go nationwide. I personally have been making myself find a place to pull over safely and stop when trying to talk on my cell phone in the vehicle.

[Yank]

TulliusDetritus:  You are exactly right. It cannot be summed it up better. Assume the other guy on the road with you is incompetent.  If we all took that approach every time we got behind the wheel there would be a lot less mayhem and destruction on our roads.  Here in Boston, we have some of the worst drivers in the world, bar none. And it gets progressively worse every year.  The increase I see in people running red lights, tailgating bumper to bumber at 70mph or faster, and a million other crazy behaviors is just plain scary. 
 
It is all about defensive habits, situational awareness, and caution.  Unfortuntately too many people think it's about beating you to the next red light so they can be first in line.

[Nikademus]

unfortunatley it means squat IMO. (the laws)

Washington has had a cell phone ban for a while now and IIRC, also a texting ban. People however still do it regardless. I see at least a half dozen every single day yaking away on their phones with no hands free kit.

It's an interesting thing about Human Nature. Sometimes I think we are just wired to disobey any and all rules in favor of our own wants. Or is it just an animal thing? Don't know. Again, i've been guilty myself of yaking on a cell without a hands free but i try to be good......more so with texting as i once sweved into the adjacent lane while doing it. Fortunately.......there was no vehicle occupying. I got off lucky. And i remember it each time i'm tempted to text while drive.

The iPad thing, like reading the paper while driving back in the "dark ages" before PDA's......i'll never fathom that. That's just utter complete insanity.

[CaptDave]

Nik beat me to it, commenting on the ignorance (as in ignoring, not as in being ignorant) of the cell phone law in Washington.  I've been lucky to avoid a couple of drivers in the past 3-4 weeks who were paying more attention to their phones than to their driving (and the drivers around here rival those in Illinois for the worst in the country).

[Shark7]

ORIGINAL: CaptDave

Nik beat me to it, commenting on the ignorance (as in ignoring, not as in being ignorant) of the cell phone law in Washington.  I've been lucky to avoid a couple of drivers in the past 3-4 weeks who were paying more attention to their phones than to their driving (and the drivers around here rival those in Illinois for the worst in the country).

Try Houston sometime...

Granted, there are some people that ignore the law no matter what. And basically, there is no cure for terminal stupidity. Sad but true.

[CaptBeefheart]

Try driving in Korea (or I'm sure a number of other places). The place teaches you to be defensive real quick. You have to assume EVERY car will pull out in front of you from a side street. You have to assume EVERY bus will ease into your lane if his lane is slowing down. You certainly have to look both ways when the light turns green or you'll be sideswiped 90% of the time. You have to watch every kid on the side of the road. Touch wood, but so far so good (now I've jinxed everything).

Back to topic: I thankfully have never stumbled across such an accident and never hope to. Good on you Jeff K. for what you did and good on the paramedics and others on this thread who deal with or have dealt with this kind of thing professionally (not to mention military folks who no doubt deal with this kind of thing often, even in peacetime).

Cheers,
CC

[mike scholl 1]

ORIGINAL: Shark7
Try Houston sometime...

I'll put Atlanta's idiots up against any other city in America. Ever see a moron suddenly decide that even though he was in the extreme right lane of a 4-lane road he was going to make a left turn? I hadn't in 36 years of driving until I moved to Atlanta. While I was there, that (and the reverse) were something I observed bi-weekly..., along with every other piece of driver stupitity you can name or think of. What amazed me was I never saw it cause an accident...