A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Situation in Oz. Navarh bombardments at Marytown wear down Arried-dogs but useressry tarr white baaahstards keep bringing in more
Ronsons west of Marytown now in position to cut off but Japan-mens not-ah sure what useressry tarr white baaahstards have south of Marytown.
Goddamn eucarytus trees arr ovah prace. Austraria-mens even have mecahnicarh kangaroo with torpex in pouch. Rearry cute those kangaroos are murder.


Maybe bettah to just brow up Brisbane and then bring in Betty and brow up Sydney before Arried-mens get-ah too many good fightahs.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san get up at 6 o'crock yestahday to work on war. SG asreep on couch <yes, that-ah couch> because made up story that Mandrake-san make round snoring sound.

No music..nothing just working on war..."OK, rets try raid on manpowah at Brisbane, see wat-ah happen"...<crick>..."Artitude 7000"...<crick>..."Set arr revah bombers"...<crick>


SG: <wake up rike angry grizzry> DO YOU HAVE TO DO THOSE DAMN CRICKS SO ROUD? [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san go to "Deck" in Raguna Beach rast night. Draft beer $8 but unberievaburh eye candy and Mandrake-san not-ah tark about ocean.

If big wave come and hit restaurant most of womans froat breastessess up.

[Cap Mandrake]

Editrix Note:


Look, that is just juvenile. Nobody North of Rio de Janeiro uses silicone any more after the Corning lawsuits and even if you did they will not keep you afloat unless you went for those ridiculous DD pontoons. Sure you get some buoyancy for the girls in the hot tub but that is it. Can we please try to remember our high school chemistry? Saline is iso-dense with sea water. If there are any more adolescent fantasy posts the Board is going to start banning people.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san go to cowboy bar in San Juan Capistrano on Saturday to see Stevie Ray Vaughan styre band. Drummer seem rike guy before Ringo to Mandrake-san but guitar-mens fantastic.

Beers $5 but have to pay cash because too many deadbeats go to prace. Rots of ranch hands and rots of bikers. One of musician-mens rook rike Jack Nichorson character from Mars Attacks. Rittah tiny guy come in wife beater T-shirt with mirky white skin and tattoos and shourders size of 8 year ord. Mandrake-san not-ah sure what guy thinking to wear that with arr of bikers around. Anyway, skinny guy have unberievabry attractive date (Mandrake-san suspect money involved) with 1950's styre pratinum
hair-do. Hair in front rook can of soup but hair not-ah important thing. "Date" wear tiny white dress with 6 inch heers. Fabric hardry even fabric so when stand in front of window right go through dress and Mandrake-san see gibrets and everything. Hory crap! Out of poriteness, Mandrake-san onry rook once....OK..three times.

[Cap Mandrake]

*****************March 16, 1942(d)***************

Funafuti: Mandrake-san send AK's to Funafuti to pick up damaged seapranes and damn USN show up again. Outer recon stations at Canton and Samoa not-ah do job right.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Funafuti at 138,147, Range 2,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DMS W-8, Shell hits 5, and is sunk
DMS W-17, Shell hits 12, and is sunk
DMS W-20, Shell hits 14, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL Concord, Shell hits 1
DD Dewey

Rike Janis say..."Take anothah rittah piece of my heart now, baby!"

Night Time Surface Combat, near Funafuti at 138,147, Range 1,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PC Take, Shell hits 12, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL Concord, Shell hits 1
DD Dewey

Somehow AK's escape.

[Cap Mandrake]

Norfork Is: Same thing at Norfork. Fortunatery troop transports arready unroaded so get away.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Norfolk Island at 113,170, Range 15,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Choun Maru #18, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
PB Tama Maru #8, Shell hits 4, and is sunk
PB Shonon Maru #15, Shell hits 5, and is sunk
PB Shonan Maru #17, Shell hits 2, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL De Ruyter
DD Vampire

[Cap Mandrake]

Brisbane: Mandrake-san find amazingry effective way to attack Brisbane. It-ah secret. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

Java-jima: Dutch-mens have big success, swarm ovah Japn-mens rike Sioux nation ovah Custah.

round combat at Tjilatjap (51,102)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 13417 troops, 181 guns, 10 vehicles, Assault Value = 406

Defending force 2866 troops, 20 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 38

Allied adjusted assault: 220

Japanese adjusted defense: 5

Allied assault odds: 44 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), disruption(-), fatigue(-), experience(-)
supply(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
572 casualties reported
Squads: 8 destroyed, 21 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
57 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 8 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Assaulting units:
4th KNIL Regiment
2nd KNIL Regiment
1st KNIL Regiment
Van Altena Battalion
Roodenburg Battalion
Lijfwacht Cav Sqn
Tjilatjap KNIL Battalion
6th KNIL Regiment
VI KNIL Bn /1
Tjilitap KM Base Force
6th Avn Sup Afd
NI-MLD
Batavia KM Base Force
ML-KNIL
2nd Avn Sup Groep
Pontianak Base Force
7th Avn Sup Afd

Defending units:
113th Infantry Regiment

[Cap Mandrake]

Austrarian airfierds. We take Charter Towers so can bring in Bettys to hit Brisbane. Aviation support wirr rand at Towsnvirre. Arried-dogs run away in Northern Oz.

Level 2 at Bundaber. We can start sweeps ovah Sydney now.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Java-jima: Dutch-mens have big success, swarm ovah Japn-mens rike Sioux nation ovah Custah.

Hah! Japan-mens trick Dutch mens - search in vain for goahden hair scarp among Japan-mens!

[Cap Mandrake]

Anothah rousy day on Pacific. Recon mission to Raguna Beach. JPEG conversion mess up corors. Bah.

[Cap Mandrake]

Coming in under sail....Chart House, Dana Point. $9 Martinis, good Brue Points. Waaay more expensive than Royarh Hawaiian but-ah seem rike Arried-mens not-ah suffer deprivation due to I-1 offshore.

Wake at 1 O'crock position actuary periscope of I-1

[Cap Mandrake]

************Southern Area Freet Psychiatry Office, Truk Ragoon*********


Mandrake-san:<on couch..Doctah Honda-san actuarry strict Freudian> ......It-ah quite a sight, doctor. Mandrake-san fry ovah Brisbane rast night and rook rike whorhe prace on fire. Civirian areas too. Mandrake-san nevah forget. Nevah....forget <appears rost in though>

Doctah Honda-san: Hmmm...that-ah must be very difficurt for Mandrake-san. Sometimes commandah have to make difficurt choices in ordah to make arr of greatah co-prosperity sphere appreciate benefits of corraboration with Empire of Japan-mens. Sometimes rittah peopurh suffah...ord radies...chirdrens...even puppies. Very sad. Very sad.

Mandrake-san: What? No...Doctah Honda-san not-ah understand. Mandrake-san actuarry ENJOY seeing city burn up.

Doctah Honda-san: Oh dear.

[witpqs]

The film just came back from Intel...

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san nevah tark to Freet Admirarh Mandrake since wah start. Arways say annoying thing rike "wait tirr P-38 get here"

[witpqs]

Mandrake-san obviousry srip up by putting film into wrong mairing enverope! [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Mandrake-san:<on couch..Doctah Honda-san actuarry strict Freudian> ......

Captain...sometime a 61cm Type 93 torpedo is-ah just a 61cm Type 93 torpedo. [:-]

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Mandrake-san:<on couch..Doctah Honda-san actuarry strict Freudian> ......

Captain...sometime a 61cm Type 93 torpedo is-ah just a 61cm Type 93 torpedo. [:-]

Even if you send it "Up the Chuff?" [X(]

[dcpollay]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

The film just came back from Intel...

Speaking of which....I think this was the mast of the Electra.