Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
she was billed as being "crate trained", which as far as I can tell means she wont **** in a crate, just everywhere else.

Yeah, that's what that means, alright. PM me if you want some dog housebreaking tips. Oh, you may want to invest in a carpet cleaner and new shoes too.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

That was damned unsporting, sneaking around like that.

Tally ho!

Indeed! Damned unsporting. It merely reinforces my distrust of the Little Yellow Bastards. I propose we give them a sound thrashing to serve as a lesson on etiquette.

But like proper gentlemen you will wait 3 years to do so?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

That was damned unsporting, sneaking around like that.

Tally ho!

Indeed! Damned unsporting. It merely reinforces my distrust of the Little Yellow Bastards. I propose we give them a sound thrashing to serve as a lesson on etiquette.

But like proper gentlemen you will wait 3 years to do so?

The hope is the destruction of Ryujo, Taiyo and her air crews and the destruction of all the support vessels at Kendari will deliver a message. Failing that, I have entered a sternly worded complaint to the War in the Pacific/Admirals Edition Sneaky and Unsporting Behavior Plenary Review Committee.

[sprior]

We thought about doing a stand up fight adhering to the Queensbury rules and all that but Kendari will be more like a swift kick in the cobblers and run away.

[Chickenboy]

What do you guys have against Celebes shoe menders?

[Mynok]

ORIGINAL: sprior
swift kick in the cobblers and run away.

Well THAT's definitely unsporting, especially combined with sneaking around. [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake



Indeed! Damned unsporting. It merely reinforces my distrust of the Little Yellow Bastards. I propose we give them a sound thrashing to serve as a lesson on etiquette.

But like proper gentlemen you will wait 3 years to do so?

The hope is the destruction of Ryujo, Taiyo and her air crews and the destruction of all the support vessels at Kendari will deliver a message. Failing that, I have entered a sternly worded complaint to the War in the Pacific/Admirals Edition Sneaky and Unsporting Behavior Plenary Review Committee.

I'm sure the complaint was duly logged. [:)]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: sprior

We thought about doing a stand up fight adhering to the Queensbury rules and all that but Kendari will be more like a swift kick in the cobblers and run away.

I thought they were called yarbles. I'm so confused.

[aprezto]

Call them what you will, same effect after a kick in them.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

What do you guys have against Celebes shoe menders?

I never trust anyone who swears off sex, ragardless of their occupation.

[Cap Mandrake]

Elsewhere:



Singkawing (Western Borneo), Palembang (Sumatra) and Kendari all fell on the same day.

PI: All uniformed personnel in Luzon have been pulled back to the San Miguel Line (Gen. MacArthur was unwilling to give up the brewery). Clark is a level 2 fortification. Manila is only level 1 but is an urban hex, of course. The Japs are still running fighter sweeps over Clark and I am trading losses of P-40's to Zeroes at about 1.25/1. Almost all of Asian Fleet HQ has been got out by PBY. This should be helpful when it comes time for offensive operations. Jap DD's are laying off Manila to intercept outgoing or ingoing vessels. No attack has been made on Mindanao.

New Britain: 2 BB's are bombarding Rabaul. I wouldn't give a plugged nickel for the poor Aussies chances stationed there either. The place is indefensible. Kavineg is in Jap hands.

New Caledonia: A train of convoys are on their way. They are going to have to fight for it if they want it.

New Guinea: One Jap landing in Northern New Guinea...otherwise quiet.

Malaya: One Sqadron AVG (All Volunteer Group) arrived today.
As Lord Admiral Sprior put it, they may give the "bullies in the Zeroes a surprise".

[Mynok]

Isn't Clark also mountain terrain? I believe that is pretty close to the same defensive value as urban.

[Cap Mandrake]

Tromp is ordered to head back to Soerabja. The Dutch DD's and remaining CL will close on Kendari as will Force Z. There seems to be a single BB there (Yamashiro) incorporated in an escort TF. Taiyo and Ryujo have 3 CA's as escorts. Kendari may have Jap planes next turn. As a consequence, the B-17's at Ambon and Borneo are ordered to attack the airfield.

The US arriers are going to try to sprint up to 80 M SE of Kendari. They are low on fuel (but not red) so they will likely fall short. It may be the TBD's will be out of the battle. Carrier CAP is set to 70%. There are 26 operational F3F's and 20 Brewstrers.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
As a consequence, the B-17's at Ambon and Borneo are ordered to attack the airfield.

If it doesnt move, maybe they'll even hit it. You never know with there pesky islands, though.

[Cap Mandrake]

********Bridge of USS Lexington, 07:15, Dec. 28, 1941********

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): <enters bridge sipping coffee> Good morning Shermie.

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Good morning, sir.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): Ah, call me Brownie, Shermie.

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Yes sir, I mean Brownie. How is your coffee, Brownie?

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): A bit tepid to be honest, Shermie.

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): I am not surprised, Brownie. I am afraid I have some good news and bad news.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): All ears, Shermie.

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Well, Brownie, you know the order you gave to "top off" the destroyers last night?

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): Yes?

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Well, it went swimmingly, Brownie, and the Fire Safety Officer reports very low fire danger today.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): SPLENDID! That is the good news, I take it, Shermie?

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Yes, sir.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): And the bad?

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Well, Brownie, it seems the Chief Logistics Officer was a bit too exuberant in his effort to "top off" the destroyers. We are at zero fuel oil.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): Surely you mean bingo, not zero Shermie?

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): No Brownie, I mean zero.

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): Admiral, do you mean to tell me we can't even turn into the wind?

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): Yes...Admiral. I have taken the liberty to ask Ellet to come alongside and transfer fuel. Now you see why your coffee is cold.

Guy with headphones: CIC REPORTS MANY BOGIES INBOUND, BEARING THREE FIVE ZERO, RANGE 60 MILES!

VAdm. Brown (TF CO): AJJJJJJJ! JESUS CRISTO, MI SALVADOR! MY PENSION! MY PENSION! <swoons>

RAdm. Sherman (Ship's Captain)): <glances at swooning comrade> BATTLE STATIONS! WAVE OFF ELLET. RADIO ENTERPRISE AND SEE IF SHE CAN COVER US. EXECUTE PLAN "R" FOR RONCO.

PA announcement: BATTLE STATIONS! BATTLES STATIONS! EXECUTE EMERGENCY PLAN "R" FOR RONCO, REPEAT "R" FOR RONCO. DESIGNATED RUNNER FOR EACH BATTLE STATION TO DELIVER ALL WORKING LIGHTERS TO ENGINE ROOM NUMBER ONE IMMEDIATELY!


* "swoon" is a 19th and early 20th Century word for "faint". It use is now normally reserved for romance novels. Though considered unmanly, it is just possible for an Admiral to do this in 1941, especially when he is having a Kimmel moment.

[Chickenboy]

Ah, I think they're executing plan "Ronson", not plan Ronco. The latter would involve immediate emergency transferrence of all rotisserie chicken cookers to the aft engine spaces.

[witpqs]

...and communicating via Mr. Microphone!

"Hey, good lookin', we'll come back to sink you later!"

[Chickenboy]

Yes, I think that plan may have been promulgated by RADM R. Popeil.

[Cap Mandrake]

Oh sure, "Lady Lex" is in mortal peril and everyone is just yucking it up. Now I know which side you guys are one.


*****USS Lexington, Banda Sea, 07:21, Dec. 28, 1941********

Through a tragic malaprop, Seaman Maldonado of number 2 mount (1.1 in. quad) is about to become the first casualty of the Second Battle of the Banda Sea. He has raced aft as instructed with his awkward load. He flies down a ladder, lands heavily and pitches forward. 12 inches of tempered steel pierces his right hand. The remainder of the George Foreman Party Grill and Rotiserie is distrubted randomly in the passageway.

[Cap Mandrake]

Just noticed. Admiral Nelson-san has started a counterthread entitled:

Imperials Sons-- There is no Diego Garcia Here