From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[witpqs]

Weep, weep.

[tabpub]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie


I suspect that nearby that grief-struck bunker, a old Gunny Sergeant from Chicago listens to the SPCA/PETA rep's wailing, and tells his troops, in the legendary words of one Alphonse Capone, "I'll send flowers. Now, once those zoomies drop on those SOBs, move out, you maggots!"

CENPAC FORWARD COMMAND POST - PALMYRA ISLAND

ADM NIMITZ: <pacing back and forth next to a sandtable replica of Canton Island>
"Well, what's the word? I have given Mitchell every thing that he needed to take that rock. This is the last push; if he doesn't succeed....."

<clatter of a teletype>

GEN VANDEGRIFT: Admiral, they did it! The 37th ID reports that their two lead battalions have made the airfield with the tank battalion leading the way. The lack of anti-tank weapons is apparent here as they suffered few casualties; what they lost they attributed to Booby Guts locking up their treads.....I don't understand this....it must be a coding error, they had to mean booby traps. Here's the report. <hands it to Nimitz>

Ground combat at Canton Island

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 38050 troops, 243 guns, 31 vehicles, Assault Value = 600

Defending force 14562 troops, 96 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 241

Allied engineers reduce fortifications to 5

Allied max assault: 828 - adjusted assault: 670

Japanese max defense: 144 - adjusted defense: 72

Allied assault odds: 9 to 1 (fort level 5)

Allied forces CAPTURE Canton Island base !!!


Japanese aircraft
no flights

Japanese aircraft losses
H8K Emily: 4 destroyed
B5N Kate: 1 destroyed

Japanese ground losses:
1260 casualties reported
Guns lost 33

Allied ground losses:
896 casualties reported
Guns lost 21
Vehicles lost 4

[tabpub]

I think that " There's a mating pair in the target area" will go down as one that I won't forget for a long time.....

[DuckofTindalos]

Yup, definitely one for the history books...[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

************Great Patriotic Air Force Base No. 243, Ulan Bator, January 5, 1943************


Gen. Medvedev, commander of Soviet Air Forces, Siberian District, stands on the edge of the tarmac, his mood matches the very foul weather in Mongolia in January.

Gen. Medvedev: Comarde Colonel, could you please instruct me where the new patriotic runway is so that I may inspect it.

Lt Col. Mednick: You are standing upon it, General.

Gen. Medvedev: <looks down> But I see no markings. There is no lighting. It resembles the parade ground at Red Square.

Lt Col. Mednick: Yes sir. That is a very clever analogy.

Gen. Medvedev: Colonel, were your orders not clear?

Lt Col. Mednick: Yes sir, I was to build a runway for the Great Patriotic Air Force Base No. 243, but the drawings from Irkutsk never arrived, so I took the initiative and designed the runway myself.

Gen. Medvedev: Continue <now a slight note of alrm in his voice>

Lt Col. Mednick: <now with obvious pride holding us an ancient copy of "AVIATOR'S FIELD BOOK" by Capt Oswald Boelcke, it is dated 1916> Sir, I found this brilliant text in the Ulan Bator Great Patriotic Library. Please listen to this passage...."the careful aviator should always endeavor to land his craft or take flight into the wind to lessen his groundspeed.' You see sir, I reasoned that, as one can never predict the wind from day to day with precision, I have designed a airfield that will allow the pilot to land into the wind no matter what direction it comes from.......<he pauses for dramatic effect> Sir the runway of the Great Patriotic Airfield number 243 is a PERFECT circle!

[BrucePowers]

Uh-oh.............

How big a circle?

[DuckofTindalos]

There's someone who's going to Siberia... Wait, he's already IN Siberia (well, Mongolia, but still)...

[Cap Mandrake]

.......


Gen. Medvedev: <his Siberian pallor now being replaced with a distinct flusing> And what is the diameter of this circle Comrade Colonel?

Lt Col. Mednick: Ah, yes, page.......24...yes..."to achieve a safe take-off speed, the heavier aeroplanes such as the Albatros C.III may require a take-off run of 250 meters or more". <he beams proudly>

Gen. Medvedev: <a look of defeat on his face> Comrade Colonel, do you mean to tell me we have trucked many hundreds of tons of heavy asphalt to Ulan Bator so that you could build a 250 meter wide circle? Please tell me I am mistaken.

Lt Col. Mednick: Oh, NO sir. You are mistaken, but I take full responsibility. I misinformed you, sir.

Gen. Medvedev: Ah, superb! What is the runway length then?

Lt Col. Mednick: It is 300 meters, the diameter, I mean, sir. I added a full 50 meters for safety.



(BTW...Lt. Col Medrick was introduced some time ago. He has an air rating of "1" [:D] but he is said to be a "promising and careful" officer. He was reassigned to Mongolia after he was caught doing immitations of his old regimental political officer.)

[BrucePowers]

I am thinking prison or a firing squad here....................

[AdmNelson]

At least he is not in charge of designing the new Patriotic Soviet aifcraft carriers. Then again to Soviet thinking; the carriers would never have to turn into the wind.

[bradfordkay]

Just think... it'll make for easy interpretation of the results of any bombing run on the base: "did they put them in the bulls-eye or not?".

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: AdmNelson

At least he is not in charge of designing the new Patriotic Soviet aifcraft carriers. Then again to Soviet thinking; the carriers would never have to turn into the wind.

The Russians actually DID design circular battleships - but it was in the time of the Czars... they tended to spin around uncontrollably... at least one was eventually converted to a floating restaurant!! [:D] [8D]

EDIT: see also -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ba ... p_Novgorod

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I am thinking prison or a firing squad here....................

It is not easy to find "volunteers" who are properly cold adapted. I think he will be OK. Let's see....he got kicked out of the Red Army for making sport of a political officer, he was unable to achieve his full potential in the Soviet Air Forces because of a poor effort by the Great Patriotic Design Support Beaureu....hmmm....his naval rating is 19????????

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: AdmNelson

At least he is not in charge of designing the new Patriotic Soviet aifcraft carriers. Then again to Soviet thinking; the carriers would never have to turn into the wind.

The Russians actually DID design circular battleships - but it was in the time of the Czars... they tended to spin around uncontrollably... at least one was eventually converted to a floating restaurant!! [:D] [8D]

EDIT: see also -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ba ... p_Novgorod

Are you sure design is the right word? [:D] It is uglier than homemade sin. The Wiki article gently offers that it "was vulnerable to plunging fire" [:D]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: AdmNelson

At least he is not in charge of designing the new Patriotic Soviet aifcraft carriers. Then again to Soviet thinking; the carriers would never have to turn into the wind.

The Russians actually DID design circular battleships - but it was in the time of the Czars... they tended to spin around uncontrollably... at least one was eventually converted to a floating restaurant!! [:D] [8D]

EDIT: see also -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_ba ... p_Novgorod

Are you sure design is the right word? [:D] It is uglier than homemade sin. The Wiki article gently offers that it "was vulnerable to plunging fire" [:D]

Well, Wiki article also said it is considered the "Ugliest Warship Ever Built"... [:D]

[BrucePowers]

Well could you at least give him 50 lashes with a wet noodle[:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

I dont know what the heck you guys are laughing at. I see great potential in a circular tank. [:-]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

I dont know what the heck you guys are laughing at. I see great potential in a circular tank. [:-]

Well, the Russians had one of those also - i am not kidding - but it was like a giant wheel - the thing was about 50 feet tall (circular part stood upright)... actually the thing looked like a giant "pennyfarthing" bicycle (to me)... [X(] [:D]

EDIT: Here it is (built in 1915):

[BrucePowers]

Do the Russians believe in the perfectness of a circle?[:D]

[rtrapasso]

The Germans also had built the "Kugel Panzer" at the end of WW2:



EDIT: Actually - this should be in WITP - the only examples found were models the Germans shipped to the Japanese, and were captured in Manchuria...

The sight of the Kugel Panzer attacking a circular airfield would be amusing...[:D]