A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Starhkah Girh decide birthday week entire week, pretty much want to drink every night. Mandrake-san get tired. Tonight go to Boom Boom Room. Evidentarry it-ah pretty much same thing as Bugis Street.

[Cap Mandrake]

Hory crap! Mandrake-san put stuff from wrong wah again.

Brain stirr not-ah working right from Saturday.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san go to restaurant of ice hockey prayer Teemu Seranne. Not-ah sure why guy from Finrand make restaurant on Truk Ragoon. Probabry have hard time get ice freeze.

Prace pretty good but expensive as Herr. Japan-mens Kumamoto oysters dericious. Firet mignon dericious. Steak tartar dericious. Risoto...meh.

Aftahward find out Boom Boom Romm crosed so go to Main Street Cabaret. Mandrake-san expect Riza Minerri but instead it-ah guy in underwears dancing to techno music. Guy in underwears dance with front toward crowd then when egg timer go
off turn around and dance with bottom side out toward audience. Apparentry something wrong with waist because mostry bent ovah with bottom stick out when dancing. Aftah whire Mandrake-san rearize something funny about cabaret. Have to go outside when start to feer frushed.

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Aprir 22, 1942(e)*************

This day mostry about Japan-mens try to stop annoying Arried-mens counteroffensive.

Brisbane supposedry have 77% runway damage but Arried-dogs stirr frying airpranes so rikery one of Japan-mens in interrigence need thicker grasses.
Japan-mens navy send Hiei to brow prace up. Admirarh Tanaka get panties in bunch and decide to attack coastarh batteries instead of airfierd. Rucky shot on Maya knock out B turret.

Night Naval bombardment of Brisbane at 96,160 - Coastal Guns Fire Back!

67 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Japanese Ships
BB Hiei
CA Maya, Shell hits 1
DD Akebono
DD Samidare
DD Kasumi
DD Kazegumo

Allied ground losses:
135 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled

F1M2 Pete acting as spotter for BB Hiei
BB Hiei firing at 259th Coastal Artillery Battalion

[Cap Mandrake]

Srower batturships send to Marysborough for juicy targets with Arrie-dog artirrery rined up wheerh to wheerh.
Good target serection. Arr of Arried-dogs divisions hit.

Night Naval bombardment of Maryborough at 96,157

Japanese Ships
BB Yamashiro
BB Mutsu
BB Nagato
DD Hishu
DD Yugao
DD Hatakaze
DD Yuzuki

Allied ground losses:
748 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 47 disabled
Non Combat: 15 destroyed, 31 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Guns lost 7 (2 destroyed, 5 disabled)
Vehicles lost 7 (3 destroyed, 4 disabled)

E8N2 Dave acting as spotter for BB Yamashiro
BB Yamashiro firing at Americal Infantry Division
F1M2 Pete acting as spotter for BB Mutsu
BB Mutsu firing at 11th Indian Division
F1M2 Pete acting as spotter for BB Nagato
BB Nagato firing at 7th Australian Division
DD Hishu firing at 6th Australian Division
DD Yugao firing at 6th Australian Division
DD Hatakaze firing at 7th Australian Division
DD Yuzuki firing at 18th British Division

[Cap Mandrake]

Arried-mens go hard aftah Bundaberg.

Morning Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 28,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 27

Allied aircraft
P-40E Warhawk x 13

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
P-40E Warhawk: 1 destroyed

[Cap Mandrake]

Not-ah sure why go aftah port. Japan-mens using AKE's at sea to rearm BB's

Morning Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 30 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 25

Allied aircraft
Blenheim IV x 16
P-39D Airacobra x 19

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
Blenheim IV: 2 destroyed
P-39D Airacobra: 3 destroyed

Port hits 7
Port supply hits 1

[Cap Mandrake]

This possibry arr of Brenheim IV in whore worhd.

Morning Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 34 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 11 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 18

Allied aircraft
Blenheim IV x 27
P-39D Airacobra x 19

No Japanese losses

No Allied losses

Port hits 10

[Cap Mandrake]

Anotah fightah sweep. Our guys too row.

Morning Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 38 NM, estimated altitude 29,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 13 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 3

Allied aircraft
P-40E Warhawk x 20

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed

No Allied losses

[Cap Mandrake]

B-17's come in at 20K feet. Impossiburh to shoot one down so Japan-mens try to make Arried-mens use up arr of duct tape.

Morning Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 16 NM, estimated altitude 24,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 4 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 16

Allied aircraft
B-17E Fortress x 11

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
B-17E Fortress: 5 damaged

Port hits 2

[Cap Mandrake]

Japan-mens concentrate on ground troops at Marysborough so not-ah have disaster on ground.

Afternoon Air attack on 6th Australian Division, at 96,157 (Maryborough)

Weather in hex: Thunderstorms

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 11
G4M1 Betty x 79

Japanese aircraft losses
G4M1 Betty: 17 damaged

Allied ground losses:
79 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 8 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 3 (1 destroyed, 2 disabled)

[Cap Mandrake]

Now...big moment...

Ground combat at Maryborough (96,157)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 79486 troops, 1272 guns, 1371 vehicles, Assault Value = 2298

Defending force 19954 troops, 182 guns, 118 vehicles, Assault Value = 411

Allied adjusted assault: 658

Japanese adjusted defense: 867

Allied assault odds: 1 to 2

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), preparation(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
1110 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 83 disabled
Non Combat: 4 destroyed, 41 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 4 disabled
Guns lost 49 (7 destroyed, 42 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
1309 casualties reported
Squads: 19 destroyed, 93 disabled
Non Combat: 32 destroyed, 18 disabled
Engineers: 8 destroyed, 45 disabled
Guns lost 14 (2 destroyed, 12 disabled)
Vehicles lost 103 (83 destroyed, 20 disabled)

Assaulting units:
2/8th Armoured Regiment
I Aus Corps Engineer Battalion
6th Australian Division
7th Armoured Brigade
18th British Division
7th Australian Division
Americal Infantry Division
3rd Australian Division
11th Indian Division
1st Medium Regiment
109th Anti Tank Regiment
260th Field Artillery Battalion
147th Field Artillery Battalion
2nd Medium Regiment
223rd Field Artillery Battalion
21/22 Field Regiment
131st Field Artillery Battalion
2/11th Field Regiment
148th Field Artillery Battalion
108th Anti Tank Regiment
2/16th Field Regiment
35th Light AA Regiment
1st Australian Army
3rd Heavy AA Regiment

Defending units:
4th Division
33rd Infantry Regiment
44th Field AA Battalion
17th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
16th Army
1st Engineer Co



They miss 1:1 by 35%. Whew! Mandrake-san get to postpone seppuku for rittah bit.

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

Defendahs at Marysborough hording up pretty werr.

[Cap Mandrake]

Hexside details near Marysborough. Troops south of Marysborough arready wark 8 mires. Onry 38 easy mires reft.

[sprior]

Rear Admirah Sprior-san
Camp Barry-Hai

Honourabre Friend,

It rook rike suppry minister watching geisha frames too crosery instead of Zeroes. He banned from tea ceremony.

You stirr wan attack Perth (warm one, nor crappy cord one with porridge)?

I hear Kandy House nice this time of year. Ret's go see

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Nerr Production Rine, Maebeshi**********

FAM: <on Wah Bond tour> Very, very nice! Very efficient. Beautifurh barsa wood joining techniques. Here Mandrake-san question. Betty have bigger bomb road, ronger range, not-ah cost any more to buird, can fry faster and can actuary get hit by burret and not disintegrate into sawdust. Why Japan-mens stir making crappy barsa wood Nerrs? What, designer of prane Emperor's nepwhew or something? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...oh...Mandrake-san kirr serf. <realizes nobody roughing, in fact everyone rooking at feet with ashen coror on faces (this not-ah easy to do for Japan-mens without Kibuki make-up by way)>

Mr. Higata, factory foreman: Admirarh Mandrake-san, arrow me to present Jimmy Hirohito, designer of most excerrent Nerr airprane.

FAM: <quietry to serf> Hory crap!

[BBfanboy]

Emperor send his greetings to Mandrake-san, and this varuaburh painting to decorate office in gratitude for Mandrake-san wahr efforts:

[rtrapasso]

Haiku for Hirohito:

"Benefit your friends
By abusing your power
No one can stop you"

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Entertainment Room, Kokyo, Chiyoda ward*****************


Enrightened Emperor Hirohito: <praying earry, vacuum tube version of Carr of Duty> BOOM! BOOM! Hahahaha! Try to take back Makin Isrands, eh? YOU DIE, GI!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <THUD...screen goes dark> By Odin! Hirohito-san not-ah even see that guy. Crappy VGA graphics. Guy rook rike goddamn taro prant.

Imperiarh brown-nosah: Enrightened Emperor, prease to excuse. It about nephew Jimmy again. Nephew say admirarh make-ah fun of Nerr again. Nephew say send admirarh to Paramashiro-jima an burid ratrines.

Enrightened Emperor Hirohito: Ahhh..Hirohito-san so tired of idiot Jimmy. Not-ah get enough iodine as baby. Thing is Nerr IS crappy airprane. Find out who admirarh is and send anothah batturship. Arso, get guy from Sony ovah here. Terr him Hirohito-san want Marines not-ah rook rike f****** taro prants.