From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Operation You Know What Steering Committee Mtg., SEAC HQ, Ledo, January 28, 1943********

Staffer 1: Right then, let us call the meeting to order. Please review the minutes from this mornings meeting.


Staffer 2: Page 4, third paragraph. The Major is quoted saying you know what. <makes air quotes>


Staffer 1: Oh, bloody Hell! Would the secretary please, please strike that. Please, We've a bloody war to fight. Honestly! Anything else?


Staffer 2: Yes, page 8, second paragraph. The text reads "..if, in the case of illness, the Chairman was to be absent..".


Staffer 3: What is wrong with that?


Staffer 2: Why, it should be "were" not "was". It's the subjunctive tense. It is meant to imply conditionality.


Staffer 1: I am with the Major on this. There is only one Chairman. Why would we use the plural form "were"?


Staffer 2: But it isn't the plural form, it's the singular.


Staffer 1: Yes it is.


Staffer 2: No it isn't.


Staffer 1: Yes it is. One doesn't say "I were fishing".


Staffer 2: But that is the past tense.


Staffer 3: Colonel, most clearly the meeting happened in the past.


Staffer 2: But the regulation refers to a possible future event.


Staffer 1: My head is beginning to hurt again. Let's put it to a vote. All those in favor of retaining the existing language? <two hands go up> And nay? <no hands are raised> Colonel, you spoke in favor of new language. Do you decline to vote for it now?


Staffer 2: What is the point?


Staffer 1: It is a matter of principle. That is what we are fighting for.


Staffer 2: Very well, you want principle, I abstain on principle.


Staffer 1: Splendid! Oh bloody Hell. Strike that please. The vote is in favor of retaining the existing singular form <Staffer 2 crosses his arms in a pique> Now, when we adjourned I had called for ideas for a motto for Operation You Know What. What have you gentlemen?


Staffer 3:How about "India expects every man to do his duty".


Staffer 1: Not bad, not bad. A bit derivative, I think.


Staffer 3: I have more. How about "For Vishnu, for India, FOR CURRY!"........

[BrucePowers]

I just love these staff meetings.[:D]

[tabpub]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I just love these staff meetings.[:D]

You should read the transcripts from our monthly phone confabs....

[Moondawggie]

I thought these WERE the transcripts!

[tabpub]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

I thought these WERE the transcripts!

Naw..ours go something like this....
.....
Mandrake: Now, I notice a C47 group up in the Aleutians; send it to me in SEAC please.

Tabpub: No, it's busy.

Mandrake: Doing what?

Tabpub: Flying King Crabs back to the High Command, what else would it be doing? Seriously, he has a lot of subs and A/C out of Kiska interdicting my supply runs to Amchitcka Island and I need it.

Mandrake: Well, I need it also. My Giant Slugs haul supply so slowly towards the front lines in Burma I have to have air transports!!

Tabpub: Well, he cut the road to China and I can't rebuild the Nationalist Army without supplies! I will send this group if you promise to increase the commitment on flying in supplies to the Chinese to 3 squadrons per day at a minimum. Chiang loves his Dom Perignon and has to have it every evening you know.

Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again....
........

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: tabpub

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

I thought these WERE the transcripts!

Naw..ours go something like this....
.....
Mandrake: Now, I notice a C47 group up in the Aleutians; send it to me in SEAC please.

Tabpub: No, it's busy.

Mandrake: Doing what?

Tabpub: Flying King Crabs back to the High Command, what else would it be doing? Seriously, he has a lot of subs and A/C out of Kiska interdicting my supply runs to Amchitcka Island and I need it.

Mandrake: Well, I need it also. My Giant Slugs haul supply so slowly towards the front lines in Burma I have to have air transports!!

Tabpub: Well, he cut the road to China and I can't rebuild the Nationalist Army without supplies! I will send this group if you promise to increase the commitment on flying in supplies to the Chinese to 3 squadrons per day at a minimum. Chiang loves his Dom Perignon and has to have it every evening you know.

Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again....
........

[:D]

[bradfordkay]

"Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again...."

He can always strip the RN carriers of their Corsairs. [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

"Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again...."

He can always strip the RN carriers of their Corsairs. [;)]

Corsairs? CORSAIRS? Why don't you guys tell me these things? Operation You Know What is under way and I am still flying those crappy Fulmars? Holy Heck! Are you guys rooting for the Japs?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: tabpub

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

I thought these WERE the transcripts!

Naw..ours go something like this....
.....
Mandrake: Now, I notice a C47 group up in the Aleutians; send it to me in SEAC please.

Tabpub: No, it's busy.

Mandrake: Doing what?

Tabpub: Flying King Crabs back to the High Command, what else would it be doing? Seriously, he has a lot of subs and A/C out of Kiska interdicting my supply runs to Amchitcka Island and I need it.

Mandrake: Well, I need it also. My Giant Slugs haul supply so slowly towards the front lines in Burma I have to have air transports!!

Tabpub: Well, he cut the road to China and I can't rebuild the Nationalist Army without supplies! I will send this group if you promise to increase the commitment on flying in supplies to the Chinese to 3 squadrons per day at a minimum. Chiang loves his Dom Perignon and has to have it every evening you know.

Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again....
........

[:D][:D] Yes SEAC is continually getting annoying requisitions from China. What is the big deal? Do you think there were cargo aircraft flying over the Himalayas before the war. You guys just need to live within your means. The most dangerous jobs in the RAF and USAAF right now are cargo pilots. Y'all need to lighten up.

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Office of Adm. Somerville, CIC, Eastern Fleet, Colombo, Ceylon, 12:20, January 30, 1943**********


Adm. Somerville: <intercom rings and Adm. Somerville depresses the button without looking up> Yes?

Intercom Voice: Sir, message from Captain Eccles of Indomitable. He says he wants first dibs on the new Corsairs.

Adm. Somerville:Corsairs? Is he kidding?

Intercom Voice: Hard to say sir as it is a telegram and lacks most of the customary visual and verbal cues we human beings often use to discern the true meaning of a speaker.

Adm. Somerville: Ah, yes, I see. What about Corsairs? Have we any?

Intercom Voice: Not to my knowledge, sir.

Adm. Somerville: Well, then find out. Ask what's his name. The logistics chap.

Intercom Voice: Ah, yes sir. Do you mean Adm. Phillips?

Adm. Somerville: YES! That's him. Find out what he is doing.

Intercom Voice: I believe he is securing curry for Operation You Know What.

Adm. Somerville: Did you say curry?

Intercom Voice: Yes sir.

Adm. Somerville: The yellow stuff I forbade the chef to put on my mutton?

Intercom Voice: Yes sir, the very same.

Adm. Somerville: Hmmm. Well, have him call me as soon as he returns and tell Eccles the cupboard is bare.

Intercom Voice: Yes sir. Cupboard is bare sir.

Adm. Somerville: Very well, see to it. <releases intercom button> Bloody crazy way to run a war................

[BrucePowers]

And I thought these guys had deep thoughts......

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

And I thought these guys had deep thoughts......

Wait, do you mean Tabpub and me or the Royal Navy? [:)]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

And I thought these guys had deep thoughts......

Wait, do you mean Tabpub and me or the Royal Navy? [:)]

Actually, the Royal Navy.[:D]

[bradfordkay]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

"Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again...."

He can always strip the RN carriers of their Corsairs. [;)]

Corsairs? CORSAIRS? Why don't you guys tell me these things? Operation You Know What is under way and I am still flying those crappy Fulmars? Holy Heck! Are you guys rooting for the Japs?

Uhhh... my powers of observation are failing me... I see that your date is Jan '43 and there are no RN Corsairs as of yet. Shouldn't you be using Martlets and Seafires by now instead of Fulmars?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

"Mandrake: Ok, now about some Corsairs for SEAC.....

Tabpub: oh, brother....not this again...."

He can always strip the RN carriers of their Corsairs. [;)]

Corsairs? CORSAIRS? Why don't you guys tell me these things? Operation You Know What is under way and I am still flying those crappy Fulmars? Holy Heck! Are you guys rooting for the Japs?

Uhhh... my powers of observation are failing me... I see that your date is Jan '43 and there are no RN Corsairs as of yet. Shouldn't you be using Martlets and Seafires by now instead of Fulmars?

Oops. Yes, you are right. I converted to Seafires. I have a good inventory of Seafires and 65 RN Wildcats. Should I convert some to the Wildcat V? The Seafire seems marginally superior.

[bradfordkay]

I'm playing CHS 2.08 and have reached 5 July, '43. I tend to choose the historical upgrades for each squadron unless necessity dictates otherwise. That being said, some squadrons get Martlets which upgrade to Hellcat IIs - while other squadrons follow the Seafire/Corsair upgrade path. One of my carriers has Wildcat VIs, which do have a better range than the Seafire I/II that is the only carrier borne Spit available so far.

If you're only using the RN carriers for point defense, then the Seafires are better than Martlets or Wildcats, but if you want to torpedo enemy ships you'll need the Grummans for their range. That's my take on it.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

I'm playing CHS 2.08 and have reached 5 July, '43. I tend to choose the historical upgrades for each squadron unless necessity dictates otherwise. That being said, some squadrons get Martlets which upgrade to Hellcat IIs - while other squadrons follow the Seafire/Corsair upgrade path. One of my carriers has Wildcat VIs, which do have a better range than the Seafire I/II that is the only carrier borne Spit available so far.

If you're only using the RN carriers for point defense, then the Seafires are better than Martlets or Wildcats, but if you want to torpedo enemy ships you'll need the Grummans for their range. That's my take on it.

You know, in stock, the range of the Seafire is 4 hexes, same as the Wildcat. It has to a mistake.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********M&M Enterprises, Regional Offices, Derby, 16:20, January 30, 1943*********


<A veranda framed by bouganville overlooks the harbor. A young man in a floral shirt sips a mint julep (with real mint, of course), his feet on the koa wood railing imported from Hawaii. A voice calls out from inside>

Voice inside: Mister M, it's some guy with an English accent on the super-heterodyne. He wants to know about Corsairs or something.

M.M: Corsairs? Hmmm. I'll take it out here. <flips a switch on the unit on the veranda, an orange glow illuminates the plaster. The young man puts on headphones> Good afternoon, M&M Weapons Services Division, ho may I help you..over.

<pause>

Ah, wonderful to hear from you sir. How are things in the Bay of Bengal..over

<pauses>

Splendid!..over

<pauses>

Ah, very well then, let me just say excellent. You inquired about the Corsair, a fine plane..over

<pauses>

I wish I could sir but my first allotment is promised to the Ecuadorians..over

<pauses>

Yes, that's it, the one in South America. It seems there is quite the arms race between the Ecuadorians and Peruvians...over

<pauses>

Yes sir, it does sometimes seem the world has gone mad, but Mr. Henry Ford has just built another 1000 yd long tank factory and I have it from reliable sources that the Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company isn't doing too badly either. Think of all the jobs. And who are we to question the patriotism of the Ecuadorians and Peruvians..over

<pauses>

Yes sir, I suspect the Ecuadorians might be willing to forgo the first shipment, but they are sure to want some type of compensation...over

<pauses>

Well sir, I can't really speak for them, but I suspect it would be in the neighborhood of 40 to 50 K above sticker price...over

<pauses>

Yes, sir "K" means "thousand"...over

<pauses>

Yes sir, US dollars but I am sure they would take gold too....over

<pauses>

Yes sir, I understand. Perhaps you would be interested in a certified pre-owned model. I have 3 dozen carrier capable fighters with workhorse radial engines and great range...over

<pauses>

They are the historic blue and white with original paint but will paint to order..........

[rtrapasso]

Someone is about to unload a bunch of Buffalos... [X(] [:-] [:D]