From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

That must of hurt[X(]

I like Admiral Draemel. They way he got ship after ship shot out from under him at Port Moresby was a classic. I hope he does better this time, the only combatants under his command are two Flower-class corvettes.

It pains me to see him hurt himself like this, but I am just here to tell the story.

[Cap Mandrake]

************Bridge, HMS Fresia, 07:20, February 7, 1943, Gulf of Martaban, 85 nm WSW of Moulmein**********

With the specialized landing vessels detached, Adm. Draemel's tasking force is making good progress despite heavy seas and continuous rain for the last 12 hrs. Most of the men of 26th Indian Div. will be landing today as planned, even if some of their heavy equipment and attached armour will have to wait. The Admiral is belted into the captain's chair, a large bandage on his nose. The pain is more tolerable after the ship's surgeon advised him he will certify his 8th purple heart. In fact, the excitement of the day gets the better of him and he loudly proclaims (with that funny stuffed up nose voice), "Alder Tag, gentlemen, Alder Tag!.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The shroud is dropped and there is an audible gasp and then wild applause from the crowd which is overawed by the evident testosterone-laced power of the thing, its massive propeller and its flush-riveted skin.

It's little known that the strafing and diving performance of the Corsair benefited greatly from an extra 3 inches that was added after the aircraft was already mature. I believe the completed airframes were modified at the factory with the aid of some sort of Swedish-made device. Details are sketchy.

[Nemo121]

Yes, the "Vacuum pump gap" is what really doomed Japan during the war. They designed good planes but their lack of vacuum pumps meant they could never "upgrade" them in the same way as the Corsairs and Hellcats.
 
For want of a vacuum pump the Empire was lost.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The shroud is dropped and there is an audible gasp and then wild applause from the crowd which is overawed by the evident testosterone-laced power of the thing, its massive propeller and its flush-riveted skin.

It's little known that the strafing and diving performance of the Corsair benefited greatly from an extra 3 inches that was added after the aircraft was already mature. I believe the completed airframes were modified at the factory with the aid of some sort of Swedish-made device. Details are sketchy.

Ah...that would be the F4U-1(XL) then?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Yes, the "Vacuum pump gap" is what really doomed Japan during the war. They designed good planes but their lack of vacuum pumps meant they could never "upgrade" them in the same way as the Corsairs and Hellcats.

It is remarkable what an extra 3 inches of manifold pressure will do. Well, that's what I heard at least. I think it was even worse for the Empire because the word on the street is the Japanese were a bit behind in the manifold pressure department even before supercharging came along.

For want of a vacuum pump the Empire was lost.

Man, that just sucks. I can imagine Tojo going to Hirohito and saying, "Honorable Emperor, we must not allow a vacuum pump gap".

[DuckofTindalos]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

<snip>
NB: I am pretty sure I spelled "Valiant" wrong on the map. If anybody says anything...I swear...you are going to the cornfield faster than you can say "jack in the box". I'm not kidding.

</snip>

Is there still time to point out that you misspelled "Valiant" on the map?[:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Terminus

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

<snip>
NB: I am pretty sure I spelled "Valiant" wrong on the map. If anybody says anything...I swear...you are going to the cornfield faster than you can say "jack in the box". I'm not kidding.

</snip>

Is there still time to point out that you misspelled "Valiant" on the map?[:'(]

How fast can you say "jack in the box"?



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Goo ... ight_Zone)

[thegreatwent]

That kid still freaks me out[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Aboard HMS Warspite, 19:20, Feb. 6, 1943************



Adm. Somerville: <sips a cup of coffee..then promplty spits it into his cup> Bloody Hell! Who is the bloody great fool who put vanilla in my God damned coffee? This is an English warship not some damn Seine River tourist cruise. <not really expecting an answer, he picks up the PA microphone> Men, this is Admiral Somerville. Tonight we embark on the most perilous phase of our mission, perhaps the most important mission this ship has ever seen. Intelligence indicates the enemy has reinforced his airfields at Moulemein, Tavoy, Victoria Point, Sabang, Bangkok and even Georgetown. He knows the importance of this mission. The little yellow bastards will try to hit us hard but it will be our job to take out the Jap bombers at Moulmein and destroy his shore defences. We shall have some Royal Navy Seafires overhead but you can rest assured we will be a prime target. All I ask is that you do the tasks for which you have been trained to your utmost and we shall prevail. <pauses> Men, I have asked Captain Father Emmanoulides, of SEAC, 13th Ecclesiastical Rapid Reaction Battalion to say a few words...and I have asked him to pray for bad weather...Father?

Fr. Emmanoulides: <fumbles with mic> Is this on? <the phrase reverberates off of every horizontal surface of the ship for several seconds. The Father takes this as an affirmative answer> Thank you Admiral. Let us pray. Lord, we ask you to bless our mission. We ask you to bless this great ship and all who serve on her. We especially ask that you bless those working below the waterline so that if we experience flooding and have to shut the watertight doors, if that happens dear Lord, we would then ask that they be rendered insensible by the concussion or perhaps go quietly with smoke inhalation rather than to be trapped in rising water with no exit, clawing and scrambled like rodents .........<several members of the crew on the bridge begin to look a bit uncomfortable..the Admiral loses his smile as well>....we also ask, Dear Lord, for the saftey of the poor bastards in the powder magazine, especially after what happened to HMS <the Admiral steps up abruptly and covers the mic..he speaks quielty in the Father's ear, shaking his head. After a brief pause the Father continues>

Dear Lord we ask that you give us the foulest weather that you can imagine so that the enemy might be grounded and not be albe to strike us on our holy mission to liberate your children of Thailand and Burma. We ask you Father that the weather be so rough that even the most experienced sailors will <Admiral steps up and grabs the mic>

Adm. Somerville: AMEN!

[Cap Mandrake]

Amen Indeed

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The shroud is dropped and there is an audible gasp and then wild applause from the crowd which is overawed by the evident testosterone-laced power of the thing, its massive propeller and its flush-riveted skin.

It's little known that the strafing and diving performance of the Corsair benefited greatly from an extra 3 inches that was added after the aircraft was already mature. I believe the completed airframes were modified at the factory with the aid of some sort of Swedish-made device. Details are sketchy.

Ah...that would be the F4U-1(XL) then?

Indications are it might have been designated F4U-1(NLG).

It seems that technicians discovered a novel weight savings strategy. After the, um, Swedish enhancement it was discovered that the landing gear were unnecessary. That is to say the plane could stand ere- ah, could stand up straight without use of the landing gear!

Said weight savings provided yet more endurance during prolonged strafing runs so common with deep thrusts into enemy territory. Extensive testing showed the pilots were positively worn out by the extended missions, and the ground forces were most satisfied.

Sorry about the spotty info. Primary documents on the matter are barely legible, as all the handwritten notes from the test runs degraded over the years after being sweat stained. Poor devils must have worked themselves to death testing, testing, testing, again and again.

Edited to add:

Most of the heavy lifting was done by an unsung hero of the testing division's engineering staff, a chap by the name of Silden Afil. Interviews reveal that the test pilots and ground troops greeted his appearances with great anticipation owing to his inventiveness. One remarked "When Silden Afil was around things were sure to pop up."

[Cap Mandrake]

The fund of knowledge on this subject among WITP players is remarkable.

Is Silden a Biblical name?

[Cap Mandrake]

..our enemies with really nasty weather.


********Admiral's Cabin, HMS Warspite, 18:50, Feb 7, 1943***********


As CIC, Naval Forces, Operation You Know What, Admiral Somerville's mood is ebulliant. Sure, there are a few SNAFU's, but on balance, things are going swimmingly, or more accurately, not simmingly. Not a single vessel has been lost in the operation. He reviews a summary of the day's operations. Some 220 miles NW of the landing beaches, a single LCT was struck by a single bomb from a dozen Sally bombers approaching from the South. "Tavoy?", he wonders out loud. There were no enemy aircraft over the landing beaches. True, close air support sorties from the carriers had to be scrubbed, but that is a modest price to pay. Even more astounding is the total absence of hostile coastal defence fire and the apparent complete absence of enemy minefields.

Warspite and Valiant have expended all their HE rounds. He has ordered the BB's to provide escort duty for the carriers and three heavy crusiers with full ammo loads to be detached from carrier escort duty. The heavy seas as causing havoc with unloading of the AK's, but at least 6 battalions of 5th and 23rd Indian are ashore as are support elements of 12th Army. "Splendid!", he says privately.

<there is a knock on the door> "Enter"

Fr. Emmanoulides: You wanted to see me sir?

Adm. Somerville: As yes, Padre. I wanted to thank you for your prayer. It seems to have worked swimmingly.

Fr. Emmanoulides: Swimmingly, sir?

Adm. Somerville: Yes, Padre, we can't say you know what.

Fr. Emmanoulides: Ah, yes sir, swimmingly.

Adm. Somerville: Yes, indeed, swimmingly. I wondered if you might offer another prayer, but...could you please tread a bit more lightly on the suffering aspect?

Fr. Emmanoulides: Yes sir. I will give an absolutely swimming blessing.

Adm. Somerville: Superb!

Fr. Emmanoulides: And the weather sir? I mean, what should I ask for?

Adm. Somerville: Abyssmal. As bad as you can get. Pull out all the stops. Call upon your personal realtionship with Zeus.

Fr. Emmanoulides: Zeus?

Adm. Somerville: Yes Zeus. Aren't you Greek or something?

Fr. Emmanoulides: Greek Orthodox, sir. It's a Christian faith.

Adm. Somerville: Ah, superb, then mention Jesus or something. That should be good for morale.

Fr. Emmanoulides: Yes sir, Jesus sir. He is always good for morale.

Adm. Somerville: Splendid!

Fr. Emmanoulides: Swimming, sir!

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The fund of knowledge on this subject among WITP players is remarkable.

Is Silden a Biblical name?

Unknown. The only reference I could find is a partial of an old fold song with the refrain "Viva Silden Afil!"

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Aboard RNN Boyskens, Command Ship, Lt. Gen Auchinleck, 12th Army, CIC, 07:30, February 8, 1943, 4 mi. off the landing beaches*******


Lt. Gen Auchinleck: How about 5th Indian?

Lt. Gen Scoones(staff): About 4 battalions astride the road to Moulemein. It seems the companies are all intermingled and all the heavy weapons are stuck on the beach or still aboard landing craft. Most of the beach exits are under water. We could use a break in the rain.

Lt. Gen Auchinleck: Indeed, And what about the other 3 divisions?

Lt. Gen Scoones(staff): 23rd Indian have roughly 4 battalions forming up on the Burma Railway, but still 15 miles from the airfield. They are in much the same state. 18th Division and 16th Indian have not yet begun to land, something about sand bars.

Lt. Gen Auchinleck: Bloody Hell! Get me Evans of 5th Indian and what's his name from 23rd....umm...Savory. How can they not understand the importance of seizing the airfield? That is their objective.

Lt. Gen Scoones(staff): Sir, Evans and Savory are missing.

Lt. Gen Auchinleck: Bloody Hell!. YOU get ashore and take command of whatever forces you find on the rail line and <turns to look around>...YOU...what's your name Brigadier?

Brig. Greeves: Greeves, sir.

Lt. Gen Auchinleck: Excellent, Greeves, you take whatever you can find of 5th Indian on the road and the two of you take the damn airfield. Those boys are veterans of North Africa. They can do it, they just need direction. Find some Ghurkas and put them in the lead. And the two of you had best not come back here alive if you fail. Now <shouts an order to all within earshot. SOMEBODY FIND ME A CHAPLAIN OR SOMETHING! WE NEED TO PRAY FOR GOOD WEATHER.

[Cap Mandrake]

Come on six, come on six! Please God, I won't ask for anything else. I promise......



Man, this is killing me waiting for the turn back. I have a million things to do at work and I am wasting my time looking at my inbox every five minutes. [:-]


My email solicitations have grown more hyperbolic. There is one company now offering to add "3 to 4 inches". Apparently 3 is no longer enough. This is somewhat ironically paired with an email from some kind of dating service for "Christian Singles" [:)]

Now, you have to admit that is funny. Whoever sold my email address sold it both to the "3 to 4 inches" people and a Christian dating service. It might even be the same organization as the cover girl for the dating ad is a serious babe[:D]

I don't think stalker girl would turn me in to a Christian dating service so the cloud of suspicion is removed.

[bobogoboom]

are you still with stalker girl?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

are you still with stalker girl?

Funny you should ask. My very next email was titled "I'm back in town" from you know who. The good news is she got rid of her ex. again. She had a surgical procedure and, in feigned sympathy, he went to see her in the hospital because he read on the internet that Dilauded was a "truth serum". Then, like some kind of KGB hack, he interrogated her under the influence of the dilauded. [X(]

She told him she didn't love him. He left...but not before telling her about the interrogation, which she had no memory of. I half imagine he was pushing the PCA pump himself to up the dose. I think he is a little crazy. I steer well clear of him. He is back in Idaho now.

Her half-crazy mom from Chicago is coming up to live with her because she is getting a divorce. We are talking serious baggage. [:)]

Finally, she confessed that she is pure-bred Polish [:)]

I am not making any of this up.

[witpqs]

Could be a perfect match.

You might remember that on a trip to Poland during his presidency, Jimmy Carter gave part of a speech in Polish. The American press reported that he mistranslated, but perhaps it was only a Freudian slip - he said that he "lusted after Poles." Are you by chance an ex-U.S. President-naval officer-nuclear engineer-Nobel Peace Prize winner-poverty housing advocate-whose mother once publicly stated that she wished to hell she'd remained a virgin-peanut farmer who lusts after Poles? Probably not.

PS: Please excuse me. I am currently waiting for paint to dry and it's not all that the ads make it out to be.