From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

********08:20, April 1, 1943, 240 nm East of Efate********


Taking his first break on a a long patrol from Noumea, Lt. Suzuki passes the controls of the Mavis to his copilot and opens a can of sea urchin roe. It smells just about like what you would expect but it apparently tastes really good as he closes his eyes to savor the moment. He might have chosen to "savour" the moment, but as he is closer to an American area of operation, he decides to "savor" it. This is no mean level of lingusistic understanding considering his only fluent, spoken English-language phrase is "you die GI", something he learned from a SNLF Lt. on New Caledonia.

His reverie is interrupted by the radioman who calls out "many ships, our 9 o'crock".

Angrily, the Lt. calls out, "NO ENGRISH!" Then they all start yabbering in Japanese so I have absolutley no idea what they are talking about except from the pointing and excitement and all they are probalby talking about the dozens of ships headed somewhere. The radioman starts using the radio and Lt. Suzuki drops his sea urchin roe on his flight suit. That is going to have some serious stank before they get back to Noumea. Like they say, war is Hell.

[Cap Mandrake]

OK...a quiz.....I just noticed something..... except for Ito, what do all the named low level Japanese characters in this thread seem to have in common?

[Cap Mandrake]

******SITREP, Operation Inchworm, Kai Is., Banda Sea, April 1, 1943*********


About 80-85% of Australian 6th Cavalry Div and Sparrow Bn. made it ashore on D-Day. The two small Dutch units are also ashore. 20+ newly deployed Jap bombers were spotted at Amboina, along with 160 fighters. There are also about 8 Vals at Sorong. There are so many top of the line fighters at Amboina, a Jap fighter sweep over Kai followed by a couple of dozen Bettys could have been devasting. With the forces on the ground in good supply, it was decided to return all naval forces to the fighter umbrella of Darwin save for the landing craft which were ordered to shuttle supplies from Aru.

This was acoomplished safely with no Jap air attack. The Inchworm landing forces attacked and made good progress, reducing shore fortifications to zero and achieving 1;1 odds. They will attack again today after LBA from Darwin roughs up the Jap defenders. Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up.

Is Stalker Girl the household disciplinarian?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up.

Is Stalker Girl the household disciplinarian?

Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured.

[Cap Mandrake]

*******SouthPac HQ, XXXXXXX, 08:40, April 2, 1943***********



Sparks: Sir, here is that odd message from Efate you asked about. The sender is identified as a...<looks at notes>.....Tabpub

Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: <scans message, which reads> "Report Efate camp only held by squaws with old trade muskets; no Winchesters. Luganville to be checked out by our little crows; if lightly held, fast horse group with raiding party to depart quickum, chop, chop....".......Hmmm, what do you make of this, Sparks?

Sparks: Beats me sir, maybe one of them Navajo code talkers.

Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: Perhaps, but they may be violating opsec. This is nearly intelligible.....Sparks?

Sparks: Yes sir?

Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: I've been meaning to ask. It seems a strange coincidence that you would have a name like "Sparks" and work with electricity.

Sparks: Yes sir, amazing....sort of like you working in intelligence and having a name liek Smart.....

[Cap Mandrake]

********Australia Command HQ, Darwin, 09:20, April 2, 1943(b)************


Gen. Blamey: ...and the situation on Kai?


Aide: 6th Cavalry reports the airfield and harbour in our control as of 18:00 yesterday. The airfield will need repairs but is usable. They need av gas.


Gen. Blamey: Splenid! And what of 5th Armoured Regt?


Aide: Well, sir, it seems they lacked the official "activities calender". Theirs was labeled 1943(a).


Gen. Blamey: I'm sorry, Col. I thought you said "a".


Aide: I did sir.


Gen. Blamey: Do you mean like the letter "a".


Aide: The very same, sir.


Gen. Blamey: That is odd.


Aide: Excedingly, sir.


Gen. Blamey: Exceeding what, Col?


Aide: Why, the oddness, sir.


Gen. Blamey: Look, I have no idea why it is so odd. I was hoping you might know.


Aide: Oh, no sir, I meant only that the oddness was excedingly odd.


Gen. Blamey: How can something exceed itself, col.?


Aide: Well, sir, I suppose an entity which is growing could exceed itself.


Gen. Blamey: Then I would say we have growing oddness.


Aide: Yes, sir. I have thought that for some time.


Gen. Blamey: Hmmm, yes, well I have my suspicions that this calender business may be some type of clever plot by the little yellow bastards. I want a top to bottom exam of all the calenders in Australia Command. We need to know about any with any odd letters in them. And send that idiot in command of the 5th Armoured to coastwatcher duty in Tasmania or something.


Aide: Yes sir, a fulsome exam.


Gen. Blamey: Full of some of what, Col.?...................

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured.

Such delicate matters must take priority over even an AAR. The boys will be on alert, but please, give us a chance to talk you down if things get hairy.

On the AAR and whipping the chain of command into shape, perhaps Frau Braun could be deployed to the theater of operations?

[vettim89]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured.

Such delicate matters must take priority over even an AAR. The boys will be on alert, but please, give us a chance to talk you down if things get hairy.

On the AAR and whipping the chain of command into shape, perhaps Frau Braun could be deployed to the theater of operations?

Oh perhaps Nurse Ratchett may be assigned to one of the field hospitals in the command. She may be able to whip things into shape

[Grotius]

Almost completely (but not entirely) off-topic: Hey Cap, I was just catching up on this thread and realized I never commented on your Mr. De Groot. My forum handle is another name for De Groot, a 17th-century Dutch philosopher. So I'm in your AAR now! Uh, sort of.

OK, it's an obscure handle. I wish I'd chosen something more relevant like Nimitz or Hibiki or Knight Who Until Recently Said Ni.

Anyway, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled AAR.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Grotius
..I never commented on your Mr. De Groot. My forum handle is another name for De Groot, a 17th-century Dutch philosopher. So I'm in your AAR now! Uh, sort of.
...

Well, that goes without saying. I think I can say with confidence we are all up to speed on 17th Century Dutch philsophers. Why, there is Grotius, of course, then......ummm...well, anyway, I like young De Groot. I believe he started with an experience level in the low teens. Now, he is contributing to Operation Inchworm. About time he ran into Anne again, too[:)]

[Menser]

Captain you give great wit .....but I was just wondering how&nbsp;a sailor in '43 learns about Cabbage Patch Kids?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Menser

Captain you give great wit .....but I was just wondering how a sailor in '43 learns about Cabbage Patch Kids?

Aha! Good point but I surmise you still inhabit a linear universe and haven't become "unstuck" like poor Yossarian. This is 1943(b). Any anachronisms can thusly be explained away. After all, Kaga and Akagi are still afloat. [:)]

BTW...Blago is too young to have been aboard USS Detroit participating in a sham landing on Tonga in 1943. Nor can it have been his dad as he was more likely following Tito around the mountains of the Balkans (he was Serbian). Not to worry, the "b" appendix can also explain away geographical oddities. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

The Japs on Efate are in trouble. 41st Div is 85% ashore in good order while 1st Marine still has HQ elements to land and had some misfortune due to sea mines and shore fire.

I suspect the engineers and 41st Inf Div could take the place by themselves. After two days there is no Japanese air to be seen. Espiritu Santu has a level 4 airfield but may, in fact, not have support troops. Efate is level 3. There are 3 level 4-5 to five arifields on New Caledonia.

This seems like a good time to commit the Jap carriers with very good airfields within range and a huge port avaialable at Noumea (level 9). Of course, the carriers would have to be nearby (Truk or Rabaul) to get there in time to stop the assault forces.

There were T-storms on D-Day but the weather is clearing on D-Day+1. As the capture of the New Hebrides would largely isolate the big Jap bases on New Caledonia, one might expect a big defence. We shall see.

[Cap Mandrake]

*****Mt. Herman, Efate, April 4, 1943*******

In a rain forest clearing, central Efate, an officerless group of Japanese soldiers debate their next plan of action. They have been chased into the rain forest by thousands of Marines and soldiers. The airfield has fallen. The town has fallen. They are out of ammuntition and have almost no rations. They have no communication with their unit. This is largely due to the fact that their unit was destroyed trying to throw back the American landing force.

Pvt. Kawasaki: We must attack. It is our duty.

Pvt. Honda: Attack, with what?

Pvt. Kawasaki: We have our bayonets. We are superior in hand to hand combat.

Pvt. Mitsubishi: You are a crazy SOB, Kawasaki. Do you know that?

Pvt. Kawasaki: You have sworn fealty to the Emperor.

Pvt. Mitsubishi: Well, perhaps the Emperor should have given us weapons to fight the Americans.

Pvt. Kawasaki: Quiet! An officer will hear you.

Pvt. Mitsubishi: They are all gone. It is quite a shame too. The war is over for us. I want to see my children and wife. Are you coming with us?

Pvt. Kawasaki: It is my duty to stop you.

Pvt. Honda: You would kill your friends? He is right. You are a crazy SOB. <the two men drop their rifles and begin walking back down the mountain toward the airfield. A hundred yards away, a young, bare-breasted native woman appears on the trail, a load of firewood on her head. They are all transfixed by the image which is made even more striking by the effect the bumpy mountian trail has on her body>

Pvt. Kawasaki: <drops his rifle> HEY GUYS! Wait up!

[tabpub]

Great Lakes Naval Training and Logistics Center

Rear Adm Davidson, head of Pacific Planning is found hunched over his Inianc computing machine after a night of planning the supply routine for the next 3 months of the Pacific Campaign. The heating plant failed during the recent cold snap and he remained at his post doing his duty.

He will be laid to rest in Arlington, as soon as the Seebees figure out how to remove him from his office. His Navy Cross will be presented to his cat during the internment ceremony; the cat commented, "Well, he was a pretty good master; but stupid, as this incident shows. Even I would know to leave the base when the heat was out; and I have 8 lives left to use..."
In lieu of flowers, send contributions to the M&M Enterprises Orphan and Widows Fund please. Current address is 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Darwin, NT, Australia.

[Cap Mandrake]

HOLY HELL! Do you mean the Global Cooling thing is real? I thought Milo made it up to sell icebreakers.

[Cap Mandrake]

**********SEAC HQ, Rangoon, April 3, 1943*********

Tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform: Right, so here it is chaps. Washington are worried about a Jap counterlanding in Burma behind 12th Army. It seems there is a big buildup of sealift capacity in Saigon and the Jap carriers are nowhere to be seen despite simultaneous Allied operations at Tonga, the New Hebrides, the Aru Sea and the Aleutians. Washington have a point.

USAAF liason: <raises hand and is recognized> Sir, you said Washington HAVE a point.

Tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform: Yes, Col. I did say that.

USAAF liason: <seems uncertain> Well, sir, excuse me but shouldn't that be "Washington HAS a point". I mean, there is only one Washington, unless the state of Washington is in on it too. <now smiles, pleased with his cleverness>

Tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform: Yes, Col., but WASHINGTON didn't realy raise the issue, did they?

USAAF liason: I am afraid I am confused, sir. Didn't you just say Washington raised the concern.

Staffer 1: I believe what the Admiral is saying, Col., is the city itself did not make the decision.

USAAF liason: Well, yes, techincally. The Pentagon is across the river in Arlington. So, I suppose you could say ARLINGTON made the decision.

Staffer 2: No, no, no. That calls for "one", you used the third person plural "you". ONE could say...

USAAF liason: <turns to staffer 2> Oh yeah? Well ONE is being quite the ass.

Staffer 3: <tries to squelch the building fire> Perhaps the Col. was simply being colloquial, in a charming Colonial fashion.

USN liason: <stands> Now hold on there pal, you can keep your patronzing tone on your side of the pond. As we speak, there are "charming Colonial" destroyers escorting your pint-sized carriers out in the Bay of Bengal because you guys couldn't afford enough escorts.

Staffer 1: <stands> Speaking of inadequate support. Bloody nice show in the Philippines.

USN liason: Oh yeah? How are things in Singapore, pal? And did I mention the Hermes is a piece of crap?

<the room descends into chaos>

[Cap Mandrake]

*****SEAC Military Hospital, Rangoon, 4 hrs. later*******


A tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform enters a room full of bandaged men.

Tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform: Men, I can see we still have co-ordination issues to work on. My original purpose was to ask you to conduct a wargame of a possible Jap landing in Burma and advise me of your findings. I'd like the planning to start as soon as your pain killers have worn off. Are there any questions?

Staffer 1: Yes sir <is recognized with a nod> Sir, you said we have "co-ordination issues to work on".

Tall, patrician-looking-patrician guy in a really cool Royal Navy Admiral's uniform: Yes, Col., I should think that is obvious at this point given the carnage.

Staffer 1: Oh, yes sir, I quite agree. It's just that one shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition..........

[Cap Mandrake]

****Hour 7 of the 1st Plenary Meeting of SEAC Wargaming Club, April 4, 1943****

Staffer 1 (Umpire):...Right, so let's move on to reconnaisance issues. Red?

Red Team Leader: I want a Daitai of Mavis at Port Blair.

Blue Team Leader: But Port Blair airfield has been abandoned. If they move in there we want one of those red airfield thingys on our map. Then we will bomb the crap out of them the next morning. <blue team laughs among themselves>

Red Team Leader: But that's stupid. How are they going to find out in the middle of the night?

Staffer 1 (Umpire): I am inclined to rule with the Blue Team on this one.

Red Team Leader: BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR! You ALWAYS side with them. You are a closet Allied Fanboy.

Staffer 1 (Umpire): I AM NOT! Look, it is just simply the way it is. Do you want to play or not? Blue gets the little red airfield thingy on their map if you move in Mavis's at night.

Red Team Leader: <crosses arms in a pique..then speaks up> OK, then we want TWO Glen-carrying subs in the Bay of Bengal with 100% spotting ability in a 240 mile radius from each boat.

Blue Team Leader: WHAT? That's ridiculous! How is one shitty little toy airplane going to cover a 360 degree arc out to 240 miles? What is the endurance on the thing? Plus, you can't just surface in the Bay of Bengal in daylight. You would be spotted by our Cats or PBY's from Chandpur or Ceylon.

Red Team Leader: Everybody does it.

Blue Team Leader: It's still stupid.

Staffer 1 (Umpire): I am inclined to side with the Red Team on this one.

Blue Team Leader: WHAT? You can't be serious. I am thinking a complaining to Admiral Mountbatten that we have a Jap Fanboy in charge.

Staffer 1 (Umpire): Do as you feel you must but you do realize you both sound like children.

Red Team Leader: Ohhhh, sorry Mr. bighsot. <Everyone laughs and Blue Team leader offers a fist bump>

Staffer 1 (Umpire): Look, could we move on now, please? Now...let's see. I would like to cover B-24's on naval attack, air group redeployment, recon by bombardment, combined engineer and artillery attacks and spetznatz reconning before dinner.

Red Team Leader: What is spetznatz?

Staffer 1 (Umpire): You know, those little remnants landed by sub.

Red Team Leader: Oh, yeah, we want that.

Blue Team Leader: That is SOOOO gamey........