A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: Zorch
Zorch-san think Mandrake schizophrenic and play himself in dual AAR.

Mandarake-san nevah pray with serf...werr...unress itch or something..or maybe new Betty Graburh pictures come in mair.
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

No America-mens air attack in aftahnoon. Probabry stop for hot shit on shingurh.

80 Netties at Suva stay home. Apparentarry it-ah day of big base musicarh comedy show.

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Zorch
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Zorch »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Zorch
Zorch-san think Mandrake schizophrenic and play himself in dual AAR.

Mandarake-san nevah pray with serf...werr...unress itch or something..or maybe new Betty Graburh pictures come in mair.
Zorch-san velly welieved. Nothing verse than pray youwself and not rinn.
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

**********Seaside Virra, Truk Ragoon*********

Admirarh Mandarake-san: HAI! New Betty Graburh pictures here. Mandarake-san be back in coupurh minutes.



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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Ohhhh....baby...head exprode rike knee mortah round.



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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Air rosses armost identicarh. Few more bombers for Japan-mens...few more fightahs for Arried-mens.



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Zorch
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Zorch »

Allied Intelligence report: Japanese soldiers are easily distracted by scantily clad pinups of young females. Recommend air dropping large quantities over enemy bases prior to engaging.



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BBfanboy
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by BBfanboy »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

No America-mens air attack in aftahnoon. Probabry stop for hot shit on shingurh.

80 Netties at Suva stay home. Apparentarry it-ah day of big base musicarh comedy show.

Hai! Ha-Ha Jima Schoor of Yiddish Comedy come out to support empire.
Giving Nerr drivers time to see show is reast Base Commandah can do!

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No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth
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FlyByKnight
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by FlyByKnight »

Hilarious AAR. Keep up the good work, Mandrake-san!
ORIGINAL: Big B

The obvious question is - "Will each shell do at least 0ne Million Dollars worth of damage?" If not, someone needs to look at this again and rethink it.
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zuluhour
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by zuluhour »

HAI !
itta rook rike new secret weapon need ahhh eat more.

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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

***********August 2, 1942(d)***********

Crazy bastard Arried-dogs forrow Japan-mens back toward Suva.


Cruiser force try find Arried frattops at night. Instead find squiggary destroyah.
Night Time Surface Combat, near Eua at 139,168, Range 6,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Chokai
DD Hayashio
DD Kasumi
DD Amagiri
DD Asanagi
DD Wakatake

Allied Ships
DD Caldwell
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Probabry Chokai sair right by carriers because crazy bastards head NW toward Suva.
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Probabry damaged ships return to Arried-dogs base somewhere in Cook or Society Isrands.
ASW attack near Lifuka at 141,168

Japanese Ships
SS I-16

Allied Ships
DD Lamson
DD Litchfield
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Frying Fish forget Chef Prudome secret brackened snappah powder so torpedo hit Shokaku but nothing brow up....haha. Someone remind Mandarake-san send thank you note Misth Minderbinder.
Sub attack near Moala at 133,163

Japanese Ships
CV Shokaku
CA Aoba
CS Chitose
DD Asagiri
DD Tanikaze
DD Yugumo
DD Yuzuki
DD Ushio
DD Sazanami

Allied Ships
SS Flying Fish
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Hory crap! Crazy bastards! Too much expresso or cocaine or something.
Not-ah sure what-ah hahppen to Japan-mens fightah covah. Shit hit fan pretty much.
Morning Air attack on TF, near Moala at 133,163

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 69 NM, estimated altitude 20,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 27 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 46
A6M2-N Rufe x 13
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 3

Allied aircraft
F4F-4 Wildcat x 27
SBD-3 Dauntless x 38
TBF-1 Avenger x 12

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed
A6M2-N Rufe: 1 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-4 Wildcat: 3 destroyed
SBD-3 Dauntless: 6 destroyed, 4 damaged
SBD-3 Dauntless: 1 destroyed by flak
TBF-1 Avenger: 5 destroyed, 1 damaged

Japanese Ships
CV Hiyo, Bomb hits 2, on fire
CV Shokaku
CV Zuikaku
CVL Zuiho, Bomb hits 1, on fire
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

2/3rd of Betty pirots from Suva stay behind and have mimosas or something. Damnit!
Pussies!
Morning Air attack on TF, near Tongatapu at 134,168

Weather in hex: Heavy rain

Raid detected at 78 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 27 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 27
G4M1 Betty x 15

Allied aircraft
F4F-4 Wildcat x 68

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 5 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 4 destroyed, 3 damaged
G4M1 Betty: 2 destroyed by flak

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-4 Wildcat: 3 destroyed

Allied Ships
CV Yorktown
CV Lexington
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Pretty werr coordinated attack but stir get murdered by broody Wirdcats.
Morning Air attack on TF, near Tongatapu at 134,168

Weather in hex: Heavy rain

Raid detected at 80 NM, estimated altitude 14,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 34 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 48
B5N2 Kate x 16
D3A1 Val x 25

Allied aircraft
F4F-4 Wildcat x 49

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 5 destroyed
B5N2 Kate: 5 destroyed, 2 damaged
B5N2 Kate: 2 destroyed by flak
D3A1 Val: 7 destroyed, 6 damaged
D3A1 Val: 1 destroyed by flak

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-4 Wildcat: 2 destroyed

Allied Ships
CV Hornet
CV Lexington, Torpedo hits 1
CV Yorktown
CV Enterprise
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Arried straggerers get murdered too.
Morning Air attack on TF, near Moala at 133,163

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 13 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 4 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 19
A6M2-N Rufe x 4
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 2

Allied aircraft
SBD-3 Dauntless x 15

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
SBD-3 Dauntless: 5 destroyed, 1 damaged

Japanese Ships
CVL Zuiho, on fire

and
Morning Air attack on TF, near Moala at 133,163

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 43 NM, estimated altitude 16,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 19 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 15
A6M2-N Rufe x 4
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 1

Allied aircraft
SBD-2 Dauntless x 10

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
SBD-2 Dauntless: 6 destroyed

and
Morning Air attack on TF, near Moala at 133,163

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 43 NM, estimated altitude 16,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 19 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 15
A6M2-N Rufe x 4
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 1

Allied aircraft
SBD-2 Dauntless x 10

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
SBD-2 Dauntless: 6 destroyed
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Aftahnoon

Nice try but run out of bombahs.
Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Tongatapu at 134,167

Weather in hex: Overcast

Raid detected at 79 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 33 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 37
B5N2 Kate x 6
D3A1 Val x 5

Allied aircraft
F4F-4 Wildcat x 34

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 4 destroyed
B5N2 Kate: 3 destroyed, 1 damaged
D3A1 Val: 3 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-4 Wildcat: 1 destroyed

Allied Ships
CV Enterprise
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Aran Hata, Srightarry Retarded Detective

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Arried-dogs get tired as werr. Everyone tongue hang out..rie down on marburh froor.
Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Moala at 133,163

Weather in hex: Light rain

Raid detected at 33 NM, estimated altitude 15,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 41
A6M2-N Rufe x 8
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 3

Allied aircraft
F4F-4 Wildcat x 10
TBF-1 Avenger x 11

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed
A6M2-N Rufe: 1 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-4 Wildcat: 1 destroyed
TBF-1 Avenger: 6 destroyed

Japanese Ships
CV Zuikaku
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