Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I am being summoned to watch Roman Holiday. Oh joy. One has to make certain compromises during the holidays. [:)]

I suppose bringing the laptop wouldn't pass muster?

[Ossian]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Can we use the "wee jap dobbers" bit?

Aye Big man, nae danger. Pure belter, bud. Just you get bel tinky with them wee dafties, but.

[Mynok]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

You are right. It is worse than Navajo...and Jackspeak. It sounds a bit like Gullah.

How do you know what Gullah sounds like?

[sprior]

with them wee dafties, but

If you live in Glasgow you have to end every other sentence with "but". You just do, okay?

[BrucePowers]

Merry Christmas you guys.[:)]

[Ossian]

ORIGINAL: sprior

with them wee dafties, but

If you live in Glasgow you have to end every other sentence with "but". You just do, okay?

Indeed. Unless you end the sentence with 'By ra way', which is also acceptable.

Of course, should one be addressing a member of the fairer sex, 'but' or 'by ra way' should be exchanged for 'Hen'.

[sprior]

I like Glasgow, lived there for a few years.

[khyberbill]

EDITOR'S NOTE: Apparently, they also do not use pronouns or complete sentences when attempting to speak the King's English

I was once in a meeting with a bunch of Brits and a Scotsman. The meeting was to discuss how to remotely retrieve some highly radioactive sludge (pH of 14) from deep inside a 530,000 gallon tank. The Scot was discussing the merits of a special pump but I could not follow all of his discussion due to his accent. After the meeting I went up to him and apologized for seeking some clarification because I could not understand him and in perfect accentless English answered my questions. I asked him where the Scottish brogue had gone and he said "I only speak that way when there are lots of Brits in the room-it pisses them off".

[sprior]

I call "apocraphyl". Areal scotsman would say "English" not "Brits".

[Onime No Kyo]

Perhaps he's being misquoted.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Mynok

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

You are right. It is worse than Navajo...and Jackspeak. It sounds a bit like Gullah.

How do you know what Gullah sounds like?

Stalker Girl's adoptive family.

[Dixie]

ORIGINAL: sprior

I like Glasgow, lived there for a few years.

I like Glasgow, it makes Mogadishu look like a nice place to visit.

[Ossian]

ORIGINAL: Dixie

I like Glasgow, it makes Mogadishu look like a nice place to visit.

It's deliberate. All the tourists go to Edinburgh for the festival instead and get to watch hirsute Australian drifters attempt to juggle while we get to go about our lives in relative peace and quiet. Result.

[sprior]

Where in Glasgow are you? I lived near George Square for a couple of years and then in Busby.

[Dixie]

ORIGINAL: Ossian

ORIGINAL: Dixie

I like Glasgow, it makes Mogadishu look like a nice place to visit.

It's deliberate. All the tourists go to Edinburgh for the festival instead and get to watch hirsute Australian drifters attempt to juggle while we get to go about our lives in relative peace and quiet. Result.

Everything I know about Edinburgh I learnt from a documentary I watched a while back. You might have seen it, Trainspotting? [:D] I've only really passed through Glasgow on my way to/from somewhere else.

[khyberbill]

Areal scotsman would say "English" not "Brits"

He distinctly said Brits, however, they all worked for British Nuclear Fuels so that may be way he used the term.

[Cap Mandrake]

New Edinburgh, on the other hand, WAS a nice place until the wee jap dobbers (or was it dodgers) showed up.

[Ossian]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Where in Glasgow are you? I lived near George Square for a couple of years and then in Busby.

Kelvinbridge. Right at the foot of Gilmore hill where the uni is. That would make me posh if I was from here but I'm fae Govan and grew up in the highlands. I am both a sheepshagger AND a soapdodger. Double result.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

New Edinburgh, on the other hand, WAS a nice place until the wee jap dobbers (or was it dodgers) showed up.

Aye, Sounds about right. Wee dobbers often have that effect, regardless of either nationality or carrier aircraft, the manky wee bams. I like how they bolted fae Suva. They must have thought your CV's were a couple of bingo busses down to take them away for a weekender. The leader aff fae that team's getting heehaw out of that, byraway. Wonder if he's gonnae get a honner and steam back in? Probably not. Bet he's lowpin efter gettin' malkied like that.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Dixie

ORIGINAL: sprior

I like Glasgow, lived there for a few years.

I like Glasgow, it makes Mogadishu look like a nice place to visit.

Sort of like the Detroit of the UK?[:D]

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Yes. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this stuff. Conversation yesterday;

GFU: Honey, we need to get a few bottles of wine for the Christmas parties.
Me: Does that mean you want me to go out and get a few bottle of wine for the Christmas parties?
GFU: Yes.
Me: So why didnt you just say "Honey, could you go out and get a few bottles of wine for the Christmas parties"?
GFU: Thank you for getting the wine, honey.

I have multiple professinal degrees, talk to all sorts of folks, from all around the world working on deals etc.. Yet I still find myself misunderstanding, misinterpreting, and generally getting into trouble.

Me: Honey, what would you like for Christmas this year ?
Her: Oh nothing really comes to mind. Whatever you get me will be fine.
Me: Really, there is nothing that you want ? Nothing sounds interesting ?
Her: No, not really.
Me: Hmm, well ok maybe we should just not give each other gifts this year.
Her: ( after a long silence ) That would be very unwise of you.

You would think that after more than two decades of marriage I would know better.