From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[a7v]

Hi Captain,
 
exactly as T RAV says, there are still two reasons to check the otherwise dead WITP-Forum: The Hibiki story and your Version of WW2.
 
Greetings
 
Rainer

[Cap Mandrake]

Thanks Rainer


****Reparations Tribunal, Government of the Pillipines in Exile, Jolo, July 15, 1943******

Judge: <Bangs gavel to open proceedings> The Court wishes to announce a settlement of the case of the people of San Jose vs. President Roosevelt, the United States Army Air Force, the Southwest Pacific Command, the 90th Bombardment Squadron, Medium, USAAF and Captain Yossarian, USAAF. In exchange for dropping all claims, the People of San Jose will be compensated via the full reconstruction of the old lighthouse and improvements which will yield an income stream from the recreational and historical use of the property. As a further stipulation, there will be no admission of guilt by the defendants. To explain the details of the reconstruction and recreational improvements, I now turn the floor over to Sgt. Minderbinder of M&M Imagineering.

M.M.: <A yound man in fine linen slacks, a silk Hawaian style shirt and a Bolo tie walks toward an easel set up in the front of the courtroom. I know what you are going to say. You are going to say, "Wait, Mr. Smartypants, you don't capitalize 'bolo tie'." Normally, you would be right, but this is no ordinary bolo tie. This is a Bolo bolo tie. On the clasp of the young man's tie is the silhouette, in silver, of the awesome Douglas B-18 Bolo. On it are inscribed the words "M&M Aviation: Previously Owned Division".> Your Honor, Ladies and Gentlemen, people of San Jose,I give you the San Jose Historic Lighthouse and Water Slide Park!"

<A canvas drops to reaveal a beautiful water color and ink drawing of the reconstructed lighthouse surrounded by a helical aluminum water slide. There is an audible gasp from the gallery>

[jwilkerson]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I went down to San Diego last weekend with Stalker Girl, my daughter, and Stalker Girl's teen daughter. I suggested we go down to the Embarcadero area, and, after a short time we were standing next to USS Midway (imagine that [:D]). I could see the aircraft on the deck. I had to wipe some drool off my chin.

"Hey look, this is only $12, you want to do this?"

"Nah, we want to go someplace with shops" [:@]

Hey wait, the USS Midway has shops (aboard) !!! [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: jwilkerson

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I went down to San Diego last weekend with Stalker Girl, my daughter, and Stalker Girl's teen daughter. I suggested we go down to the Embarcadero area, and, after a short time we were standing next to USS Midway (imagine that [:D]). I could see the aircraft on the deck. I had to wipe some drool off my chin.

"Hey look, this is only $12, you want to do this?"

"Nah, we want to go someplace with shops" [:@]

Hey wait, the USS Midway has shops (aboard) !!! [:D]

Where they sell USS Midway hats and pieces of the old flight deck, I imagine. I had to drive 85 miles back home. How stupid do you think I am? (Dont answer that). [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

No...I'm not kidding. Inuit legend holds that no woman can bear a child on Kiska. Certainly not in July 1943. The place is crawling with Japs and there aren't any comfort women, either.

4 Bn of Jap Marines and 2 full Coastal Gun Regts. It is a nightmare and now a bit of sideshow but it has already cost a CL, 6 DD's, 5 or 6 AK/AP's and 10-15 LCT's. An attack on the 24th makes a little bit of headway (taking the forts to level 6) but is nowhere near 1:1 odds. The remainder of 18th Eng Rgt came ashore on the 25th but the guns sunk 6 more LCT's. I now have 2 beat-up prewar BB's bombarding the place every 2-3d and 200 planes at Amchitka and further East trying to attrit the defenders but they must have a giant underground bunker full of Emperor brand kool-aide. There is another RCT in reserve and a Corps HQ but it just seems like a waste. Bahh

[BrucePowers]

Have you considered just letting them have the place? I mean you are about to cut them off from the DEI at the other end of the empire.[:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Have you considered just letting them have the place? I mean you are about to cut them off from the DEI at the other end of the empire.[:)]

Indeed I have, though even evacuating 7th ID will be costly at this point. Better to keep pounding away at the defenders. At this point, the USN is not going to miss two prewar BB's with half their secondary guns shot to Hell and the RCAF could use the practice. Plus, Lord Admiral Tabpub initiated this operation and his communication tent was apparently hit by a Jap sub main gun or some such thing as he is still incommunicado.

[Cap Mandrake]

So my sister talks me into taking my two daughters to a play last night...not just any play either..it was Legally Blonde. I might have been less nervous if it were Private Ryan: The Musical, but it wasn't. I was guilted into it really. It was USS Midway all over again. I was powerless.

So I show up at the restaurant for a pre-show dinner and my two other sisters are there with their daughters. 3 adult women, 4 nieces and my two daughters. Uggh. It is an estrogen fest.

Me: <to the waitress> "Bring me a Long Island Iced Tea and when I get down to the backwash bring me another and keep doing that till 7:10, is that understood?".

Waitress with no cleavage showing: YES SIR!

Despite the absence of visible cleavage, she was a good waitress so I gave her a 20% tip. We are a little rushed on time so I order a Cobb salad with honey mustard dressing. Only after she leaves do I realize the implications.

Me: <soto voce> Holy Mary Mother of Jesus that sounds SOOOO gay. A Cobb salad and ONLY a Cobb salad. What was I thinking? And a low fat dressing too? I am toast. Oh well, I will likely never see her again.

So the girls talk about dressing for high school and hairstyles and such. I try to tell one story about "mother-daughter" action at a nightclub but, in the end, it falls oddly flat. Oh well, we are off to the theater. This is when my level of alarm starts to rise. There are no males under 70 at the theater and I suspect they have season tickets. [X(]

Me: <soto voce> Oh Dear God! Let it be quick.

My sister, in a rare nod to frugality, has purchased tickets on level 3. Oh well, at least I will have a good 1 1/2 seconds should I choose to throw myself off the balcony. On the elevator ride up I am the only guy, until, hope of hope, two guys squeeze onto the elevator. I glance over and, for a moment, hope against hope, imagine they will start talking about the USC game. Instead, one of the two takes his ticket and scrapes it across the chin of the other in a playful fashion.

Me: <soto voce> Oh Dear God! Let it be quick.





So here is the deal. I LIKED THE SHOW! [:D]

The moral is, if your siter invites you to a show...you should go....unless it is Rent, of course.


BTW...the thread title is from a lyric..[;)]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Have you considered just letting them have the place? I mean you are about to cut them off from the DEI at the other end of the empire.[:)]

Indeed I have, though even evacuating 7th ID will be costly at this point. Better to keep pounding away at the defenders. At this point, the USN is not going to miss two prewar BB's with half their secondary guns shot to Hell and the RCAF could use the practice. Plus, Lord Admiral Tabpub initiated this operation and his communication tent was apparently hit by a Jap sub main gun or some such thing as he is still incommunicado.

Is it possible he was taken prisoner on that rock?[:D]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So my sister talks me into taking my two daughters to a play last night...not just any play either..it was Legally Blonde. I might have been less nervous if it were Private Ryan: The Musical, but it wasn't. I was guilted into it really. It was USS Midway all over again. I was powerless.

So I show up at the restaurant for a pre-show dinner and my two other sisters are there with their daughters. 3 adult women, 4 nieces and my two daughters. Uggh. It is an estrogen fest.

Me: <to the waitress> "Bring me a Long Island Iced Tea and when I get down to the backwash bring me another and keep doing that till 7:10, is that understood?".

Waitress with no cleavage showing: YES SIR!

Despite the absence of visible cleavage, she was a good waitress so I gave her a 20% tip. We are a little rushed on time so I order a Cobb salad with honey mustard dressing. Only after she leaves do I realize the implications.

Me: <soto voce> Holy Mary Mother of Jesus that sounds SOOOO gay. A Cobb salad and ONLY a Cobb salad. What was I thinking? And a low fat dressing too? I am toast. Oh well, I will likely never see her again.

So the girls talk about dressing for high school and hairstyles and such. I try to tell one story about "mother-daughter" action at a nightclub but, in the end, it falls oddly flat. Oh well, we are off to the theater. This is when my level of alarm starts to rise. There are no males under 70 at the theater and I suspect they have season tickets. [X(]

Me: <soto voce> Oh Dear God! Let it be quick.

My sister, in a rare nod to frugality, has purchased tickets on level 3. Oh well, at least I will have a good 1 1/2 seconds should I choose to throw myself off the balcony. On the elevator ride up I am the only guy, until, hope of hope, two guys squeeze onto the elevator. I glance over and, for a moment, hope against hope, imagine they will start talking about the USC game. Instead, one of the two takes his ticket and scrapes it across the chin of the other in a playful fashion.

Me: <soto voce> Oh Dear God! Let it be quick.





So here is the deal. I LIKED THE SHOW! [:D]

The moral is, if your siter invites you to a show...you should go....unless it is Rent, of course.


BTW...the thread title is from a lyric..[;)]

So did you earn brownie points?[:)]

[Moondawggie]

[quote]ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So my sister talks me into taking my two daughters to a play last night...not just any play either..it was Legally Blonde. I might have been less nervous if it were Private Ryan: The Musical, but it wasn't. I was guilted into it really. It was USS Midway all over again. I was powerless.

So I show up at the restaurant for a pre-show dinner and my two other sisters are there with their daughters. 3 adult women, 4 nieces and my two daughters. Uggh. It is an estrogen fest.

So here is the deal. I LIKED THE SHOW! [:D]

The moral is, if your sister invites you to a show...you should go....unless it is Rent, of course.




Mandrake, as much as I love women (including daughters, fiances, girlfriends, and nieces (not to mention Goddaughters), here's my advice:

YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME AND WATCHED THE RAIDERS BEAT UP THE CHIEFS!!!!!!

By the way, I took my oldest daughter to tour the Midway 4 years ago, and I showed her the berthing spaces for the enlisted sailors and the Junior Officers, and pointed out how they were a lot more spacious than I had enjoyed aboard good old LST-1195 (The Fightin' Barbour County!) in the IO in 1983.

Then I observed how much roomier her dorm room at UCSD was compared to the Navy accommodations I had been provided, and she had one simple judgment:

"It sucked to be you."

So then we went shopping (yes, at Nordstrom--she got clothes and shoes; I got the billl)...

Cap, I share your pain...[8D]

Moondawggie

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers
Is it possible he was taken prisoner on that rock?[:D]

From the new Look spread on the Aleutians Campaign.

[BrucePowers]

[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Temporary Quarters, 90th BS(M), USAAF, Tacloban, Leyte, July 28, 1943*********



A tall, nearly nude man reclines on a khaki cot. He is attended to be two Fillipinas who are slathering his body with a propietary mixture of volcanic mud, palm fibers and guar extract. His eyes are protected by thick slices of guava. A USAAF officer enters the tent.


USAAF Officer: Captain Yossarian, is that you?

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Who wants to know?

USAAF Officer: It's me, Yossarian.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Who is me? <he pulls away the guava slices> MAJOR MAJOR! Damn, I didn't know you were still with the 90th. Hey, do I look Greek to you?

USAAF Officer: Greek?

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Yeah, Greek. Milo says I look Greek.

USAAF Officer: Gee, Yossarian. I am not sure I ever thought about it.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Well, he says I look Greek, so that is why I have these fine young ladies depiliating me. <the women giggle>

USAAF Officer: Oh dear, I am not sure I want to know.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Relax, it means taking the hair off. Hahahaha. Deee-pillll-eeee-ate. Hahhaha. <the women giggle again> Say, Major, are you still morale officer? We could use some serious R&R around here.

USAAF Officer: No, Yossarian, I am Director of Human Resources.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Director of Human Resources? You made that up you son of a bitch.

USAAF Officer: Captain, you can't adress a senior officer in that fashion. It's bad for morale. You need to say "sir".

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: You mean it's bad for "Human Resources" and I still think you made it up, you son of a bitch, sir. <the women giggle>

USAAF Officer: Yossarian, please.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: OK, but let me quote you from the Army Field Manual, Appendix......ummm....<reaches for a worn copy with bookmarks>...appendix B, page 12.."the United States Army officer should endeavor to maintain good morale among his men by permitting time off duty when possible.." How about that? When do we get our R&R?

USAAF Officer: It's not called "R&R" anymore. Appendix FU, page 22..."Paid Time Off Policy (Exceptions): In times of martial need, the commander may reduce or eliminate..."

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: OK..that's enough! Say no more! "Martial need" my hirsute ass.

USAAF Officer: Don't worry, Yossarian, the Colonel ordered some beautiful 100-Mission pins for distribution to the Squadron. They are very nice. I sent one home to my mother.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: WHAT?! HAVE YOU EVEN FLOWN ONE MISSION?

USAAF Officer: In spirit, Yossarian. In spirit I am with you.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Why don't you bring something more than your spirit along next time and let the Japs shoot at it.

USAAF Officer: Yossarian, I cam to talk to you about your new bombardier.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: I don't want him. He is fresh faced and eager.

USAAF Officer: What is wrong with that?

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: The last two were fresh-faced and eager. They both tried to get me killed. The last one tried to send me to Sing Sing. We tried fresh-faced and eager. Fresh-faced and eager does not mesh well with my crew.

USAAF Officer: You can't go to Sing Sing on a civil charge, Yossarian and you can't fly without a bombardier. The USAAF calls for a bombardier on the B25-J.

A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Well, I am flying the B25J(Y) now. I contracted with M&M Aviation for a special field modification.............

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


A tall, nearly nude man reclining on a khaki cot: Well, I am flying the B25J(Y) now. I contracted with M&M Aviation for a special field modification.............

Uh oh! [X(] Last time something like this went down some sacks of white powder ended up dropping from Yossarian's B-25 and exploded on some Japanese carrier decks! Then a surrender ceremony promptly ensued.

Mandrake, you aren't engaging in a literary technique known as foreshadowing here, are you? [&:]

[Cap Mandrake]

<goes quickly to Urban Dictionary to look up "foreshadowing">


[X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

...

[BrucePowers]

You seem to have this situation well in hand.............

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

...

Wot happened to the nice map?? [&:]